


Role Reversal

by troublesomedragon



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: And her prayer is answered in an unexpected way, F/M, In which Natalie makes a deal with God, Reset button AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2019-09-24 09:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 45,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troublesomedragon/pseuds/troublesomedragon
Summary: Natalie is having a bad day. She’s contracted to the wrong Satan, and Lucifer never left Heaven. Time to fix that, even if he hates her for it.





	1. Not My Satan

###  **Not My Satan**

Natalie once again found herself awkwardly sitting on a toilet in front of a demon. It just wasn't the right demon. God had promised her a do over after everything that happened. She felt cheated.

“You're not Satan,” she said automatically. Zadkiel scoffed.

“Yes, I am girl,” he said. Zadkiel had taken on his male persona and from what she remembered, he seemed to prefer it. She looked at the tattoos on his arms. The patterns were the same, only inked in a dark purple to compliment his skin tone. Natalie groaned and put her head in her hands. She hadn't been specific enough. Satan was a title after all.

“Could you stop gawking at me and pull up your pants now please? This situation is ridiculous enough as it is,” Zadkiel said, looking away. Natalie did as she was told, mind racing. How could she fix this? If Zadkiel had led the rebellion, would Lucifer be on earth too? Maybe, at the bar?

“Where is Lucifer? I want to see him,” she said. Zadkiel's mood soured even more.

“Can't help you there sweetheart, you're going to have to ask for something else. He's probably somewhere in Heaven laughing his face off, the ass, ” he said. Natalie eyes widened. She'd almost used her contract without realizing it. She shuddered. There was only ever one person she was willing to go to Hell for, and he wasn't here anymore.

“I wasn't asking to use the contract. Never assume that unless I specifically ask you, okay. I just thought you might know where he is because . . . ” she trailed off and sighed. Because I remember a whole different timeline and it's messing with my head. Zadkiel raised an eyebrow.

“Because what? You think I'm my brother's keeper? Demons and angels aren't exactly buddy buddy,” Zadkiel said. Natalie looked away. They were standing a respectable distance apart, but the bathroom suddenly felt way too small. Natalie walked passed him and put her hand on the doorknob. She paused. Natalie wasn't about to tell this demon she'd been warned about her secret, but she needed to tell him something.

“I thought he fell too,” she muttered, not caring how little sense that might make in this new world that she wasn't sure she liked. What else had changed? She opened the door and flopped down onto her mattress, ignoring Zadkiel's booming laughter from the bathroom.

“You're kidding right? God's favorite son, rebelling? He's too much of a golden boy to do that,”Zadkiel said leaning against the bathroom entrance, a maniacal grin still lingering on his face.

“I wouldn't go looking for him if I were you. He'd never admit it now, but he absolutely loathes humans. The only reason he's still in Heaven is he's learned to tolerate you lot over the years,” Zadkiel said, a dreamy smile on his lips as he looked up, presumably at Heaven.

“What I wouldn't give for a chance to corrupt that boy,” Zadkiel said with a sigh. Natalie pushed herself off the mattress and glared at him. She'd sacrificed far too much to let that happen to him again.

“I order you not to do that,” she said. Zadkiel let out a snort.

“As if I'd get the chance anyway, Lucifer never leaves Heaven,” he said. Natalie's heart sank.

“Never,” she whispered to herself. Zadkiel walked over and eyed her suspiciously, choosing to sit cross legged on the bed beside her. He leaned forward with his elbow on his leg and his chin in his hand.

“Why do you care anyway? Looking to get a glimpse of those flashy rainbow wings? You humans obsess over the weirdest things,” Zadkiel said, rolling his eyes.

“I've seen them. I'm not sure I could see them again without crying,” she said quietly. Natalie was giving herself away, but what did it matter. There was no way to go back. God had made that quite clear when she'd agreed to this. Anything to spare him pain, and yet, here she was miserable because this peace God promised Lucifer did not require her.

“You know more than you're letting on girl. Tell me,” Zadkiel said. He seemed sincere, concerned even. Girl . . . she didn't like that word coming out of his tongue.

“My name is Natalie. I order you not to call me girl again, use my proper name,” she snapped.

“Fine, Natalie,” he muttered. Zadkiel still stared intently at her like a predator looking at its prey. She couldn't stop her heart beating faster. By now, Natalie understood that there wasn't good in everyone, and she'd never had the chance to find out if Zadkiel was one of those people or not. Zadkiel smirked.

“If you want to be difficult, I have other ways of getting answers out of you,” he said, mysteriously producing a knife from behind him. Natalie didn't hesitate.

“I order you not to-” A hand clamped over her mouth, his other hand holding the knife delicately over her neck.

“You were saying, sweetheart” Zadkiel said. Natalie gulped, a tiny cut appearing on her neck. They were in a stalemate. Zadkiel was physically stronger and faster than her but if he removed his hand to get the answers he wanted, she could simply order him not to harm her. She couldn't help but feel frustrated. Weren't they supposed to be keeping tabs on her? The one time she actually needed divine intervention, Michael was nowhere in sight.

As if reading her mind, Michael appeared, looking especially ticked off and ready to kill. For once, she was relieved to see him. At Michael's arrival, Zadkiel begrudgingly removed his hand from her face and the knife from her throat. He took out a second knife from behind him, ready for a far more difficult fight.

“I order you not to harm me or Michael,” Natalie said. She'd had quite enough of angels and demons beating the crap out of each other, thank you. He grumbled and dropped the knives in exasperation.

“Congratulations kid, you've killed me. Michael doesn't hold back. As the ex angel of mercy, I would have let him live,” Zadkiel said. Natalie wasn't worried. She already knew what Michael wanted.

“The role never suited you, it's a shame it came to this, but I'm not actually here for you. I'm here to talk to Gingersnap over here,” Michael said, glancing at her. Natalie smiled, hoping she didn't look too eager. She had to at least pretend she wasn't completely horrified by her current situation if her plan was going to work.

“I want you to break the contract with my brother/sister dearest over here. I was going to wait and see how things progressed, but Zadkiel doesn't know how to play nice apparently, ” Michael said, briefly passing his glowing hand over her neck to heal her cut.

“Okay, but I have one condition,” Natalie said, hoping the trade wouldn't be difficult but knowing Lucifer . . . Michael probably wouldn't be too happy about it either.

“We'll keep your soul safe of course. You don't have to worry about that,” Michael said. Oh, Natalie looked down embarrassed. She wasn't even thinking about that.

“Okay, two conditions, then,” Natalie said with a laugh. Michael's happy go lucky facade slipped a little, but he quickly fixed it, probably thinking a human wouldn't ask for much.

“So, what's your other condition?”

Natalie was having trouble spitting it out. It wasn't exactly ethical to purposefully force an angel to spend time with her, but if he never left Heaven, she wouldn't see him until she died, and even then, there was no guarantee he'd want to see her. Taking a deep breath, she made the selfish choice.

“I want a contract with Lucifer instead,” Natalie said. It's what she was supposed to get anyway. Michael's face fell, but he recovered quickly again, desperate to hide the ugly human part of his soul.

“Sorry Nat, I don't think Lucifer will go for that, but if it's a guardian angel you're looking for, I'd be happy to pop in from time to time to check up on you,” Michael said. Natalie rolled her eyes at him, smirking. Michael would do that anyway.

“It's the only way I'll break the contract. So, go talk to him for me, Michael,” Natalie said, subtly getting closer to him, until they were inches apart.

“You want to save my soul don't you?” she asked, knowing the effect it would have on him. Michael blushed and instinctively looked away. Natalie hated to lead him on like this when the angel had no idea why he was feeling the way he was, but she'd do anything to see Lucifer again. He'd taught her well.

“I'll see what I can do, Natalie,” Michael said, summoning his wings. He gave Zadkiel one final warning look and took off. The gentle fluttering of his wings sounded like bells, and it always made her laugh. She giggled before turning around to deal with her unwanted guest. Zadkiel now lay sprawled on her bed, a prominent frown on his face as if deep in thought.

“You played Michael like fiddle. I'll give you that,” Zadkiel said, looking up at her as she sat by his head. It was probably his version of a compliment.

“But if you think Michael is going to convince him to make a contract with you, you're dreaming,” Zadkiel said, ruffling her hair affectionately. Zadkiel was strangely nowhere near as irritable as Lucifer despite having Hell inside him. Did he not hear the voices or was Zadkiel just better at coping? Natalie could ask, but she wasn't looking to get attached.

“It's worth a shot,” Natalie said instead. She knew he was right, but this was all the leverage she had.

“Then, you're going to Hell,” Zadkiel said. It wasn't an insult, just a fact.

“If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I'll break the contract with you and let him go. And, you can go back to doing whatever it is that the devil is actually supposed to do.” Natalie said, a far away look in her eyes. She'd always have her memories at least. That was a rather new luxury for her.

“I could show you if you let me,” Zadkiel said with another smirk.

“I order you not to do anything bad while we’re contracted,” Natalie said. She was aware that bad was a rather subjective term, but she didn't know Zadkiel well enough to get into any specific no no's for now.

“You're no fun,” Zadkiel said, turning his back on her. She took the opportunity to stretch her legs, before replying.

“You want to go to a karaoke bar? ” she asked. Zadkiel shot up from the bed and gently punched her arm.

“I'd rather go to a real bar, but your offering is acceptable,” Zadkiel said, heading straight for her closet. Natalie didn't completely register what was happening until Zadkiel stepped out in her female form with a pile of her clothes.

“Are you raiding my closet?” Natalie asked, more amused than anything.

“Singing is more fun when you're a woman,” she said matter of factly.

“I'll take your word for it since I've never been a man,” Natalie said. Zadkiel went into her bathroom to change. She stepped out looking gorgeous in a purple pastel summer dress that she'd gotten from her grandma one year and never worn since.

“You can keep that if you want. It looks better on you,” she said. Zadkiel hummed noncommittally, returning the clothes she'd decided against before taking out a little black dress that Natalie didn't remember having.

“Wear this,” Zadkiel said. It was a little on the short side. The thing would barely cover her thighs. Natalie was getting dejavu. It wasn't the first time she'd been told to dress up, and she was a little less oblivious this time around.

“You're . . . You're not attracted to me are you?” Natalie asked.

“Jesus kid, I was trying to be nice. You want to look good, don't you?” Zadkiel asked. Reassured, Natalie took the offering and went into the bathroom. The dress slipped on easily, and she felt like an entirely different person as she gazed into the mirror. A person willing to drag an angel out of Heaven. Before she could feel too guilty, Zadkiel knocked.

“Are you decent?” she asked.

“Yes,” Natalie said, already tying her hair into a familiar bun. Zadkiel entered. She didn't ask how she managed to get in when the door was locked. The Fallen were good at picking locks.

“That won't do,” Zadkiel said, undoing her hair do.

“Hey, I'm trying to get ready here” she complained. Zadkiel ignored her, looking around for potentially useful hair products. She had quite a bit. It's what people usually gifted her when they didn't know what to get her for Christmas. She settled on one and picked up a hair brush.

“Your hair looks better when it's down,” Zadkiel said, in a way that said there was no room for argument. Natalie took the path of least resistance and let the fallen angel do her hair. She seemed like she knew what she was doing anyway. When Zadkiel finished with her hair, she insisted on doing Natalie's make up as well.

“What do you think?” Zadkiel asked.

“I think you're a miracle worker,” Natalie said, feeling it was too soon to joke around and say she had the touch of an angel. This was probably the closest she'd ever get to having her hair and make up professionally done.

“It was kind of my thing,” Zadkiel said, a hint of sadness there as she quickly put everything away. Natalie smiled. Zadkiel was more considerate than Stan. She'd give her that much.

“Do you ever miss it?” Natalie asked. She knew it was a bad question. When she'd asked Lucifer, he had blown up in her face and told her to shut up. He'd stayed moody for days after that, but she was curious what Zadkiel would say.

“Of course, I do, Idiot,” Zadkiel said flicking the tip of Natalie's nose. Ow. She covered her nose as Zadkiel walked past her.  

“But I don't regret it if that's what you're actually asking.” Zadkiel didn't elaborate as to why, and the walk to the Karaoke bar was awkward.

Once there, Zadkiel mood improved considerably, and she acted as if nothing happened which Natalie was grateful for. She needed to blow off steam after experiencing so much disappointment today: wrong Satan, life threatening situation, making a morally ambiguous decision that made her feel less worthy of Heaven than anything else she'd ever done. Zadkiel had, well, the voice of an angel. Her song choices however made it hard for Natalie not to assume certain things about the demon as she sang: A Long Time Traveler Away from Home, People Ain't No Good, and I May Fall. Natalie listened as Zadkiel sang song after song, forgetting why she was there in the first place until Zadkiel sat down to join her.

“Why don't you sing a song? It's why you came isn't it?” Zadkiel suggested, forever patient and calculating. Natalie nodded but didn't make a move to get up. She did have a song in mind, but it wasn't her usual thing. She was nervous.

“What if I told you Lucifer was watching you right now? Don't you want to make a good impression?” Zadkiel teased. Natalie started blushing.

“Is he?” She said, looking around.

“No, obviously not. He'd have to come to earth if he wanted to spy on you, but I assume you were thinking of singing a love song?” Zadkiel asked, eyes glowing faintly for a moment. Natalie nodded and hid her face. She laughed and lightly hit her on the shoulder.

“Go for it, he's not around to hear you,” Zadkiel said. Natalie stood up and squared her shoulders, mechanically walking to the stage. She took a deep breath once she was up there. She needed to get this out of her system.

“You can blame me, try to shame me, but still, I'll care for you,” Natalie began, slowly finding her regular rhythm. She stared straight ahead, unwilling to look at the crowd, especially Zadkiel. As she sang, she gained confidence, smiling happily as she reached her favorite part of the song.

“The world may think I'm foolish. They can't see you like I can,” Natalie said, tears in her eyes as feelings she's been suppressing threatened to spill over and consume her.

“Oh, but anyone who knows what love is will understand,” Natalie continued. Heart thumping hard in her chest. Her Lucifer was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

As she finished the song, she finally had the courage to look at Zadkiel. Her eyes were glowing, but she wasn't looking at her. She had that far away look that Natalie sometimes had when thinking of the past. Natalie ran straight into the bathroom wiping the tears from her eyes. She was relieved to realize that Zadkiel had thoughtfully applied the waterproof mascara when doing her makeup. So of course, Zadkiel entered the bathroom to check on her. Perhaps, she really was the merciful one after all. Natalie did her best to smile and wave away any questions and concerns the demon might have acquired after that performance. She never had the chance to try, because Zadkiel said the one thing Natalie couldn't deny.

“Lucifer was Satan in your timeline. Wasn't he?” Zadkiel asked. Natalie nodded.

“How did you figure it out?” Natalie asked. Zadkiel didn't look at her. Angels and the Fallen always seemed to get uncomfortable when dealing with human’s various bodily fluids.

“You dropped enough hints, but the song is what convinced me,” Zadkiel said, finally forcing herself to look at her, a playful smile on her lips.

“It's not a song you would sing to an angel, but it makes perfect sense if you were talking about loving a devil,” Zadkiel said, hesitating only a moment before embracing her. Natalie was unable to keep her composure and returned the embrace, sobbing uncontrollably. Why did everything have to go so wrong?

“You should be careful singing that, love. It's a dangerous thing you offer. That's the kind of sentiment that attracts demons,” Zadkiel said. Natalie winced as her stay in Hell briefly crossed her mind.

“I know,” Natalie said quietly, suddenly withdrawn.  Zadkiel frowned not expecting that reaction. Once she managed to stop blubbering, she pushed Zadkiel away and wiped her eyes.

“I think I want to go home,” she said. Zadkiel nodded and didn't argue. When they arrived, Natalie went through the front door, lying easily to her father about who she'd been with and why her eyes were red and puffy. Once in her room, she opened her window and let Zadkiel in. She wordlessly handed the demon some of her father's clothes. Zadkiel returned from the bathroom in his male form.

“You can have the bean bag chair or the couch, whatever you feel more comfortable in,” Natalie said before going to change into a nightgown. When she returned, Zadkiel had made himself comfortable on the couch. She turned off the lights and slipped into the sheets, feeling numb.

“Are you sure there isn't anything you'd sell your soul for?” Zadkiel asked sweetly. She turned her head to look at him. His glowing amethyst eyes less disconcerting than Lucifer's gold ones in the night.

“Nothing you could give me,” she said finally, unconvinced that Zadkiel wasn't at least somewhat smitten. He gave an unsatisfied grunt and didn't say anything more. This new devil wasn't with her in the morning, and at the moment, she couldn't say she much cared.

 


	2. Not Your Angel

###  **Not Your Angel**

 

Lucifer was always busy. He liked being busy. His brothers and sisters were less likely to bother him if he was constantly jumping from one activity to another. Still, when he wasn't working overtime to keep Heaven running, he liked to sit on a cloud far from Heaven and watch the stars. Only Michael knew where he disappeared to everyday, and he usually knew better than to bother him. Today was not one of those days unfortunately. Michael patiently waited for his brother to acknowledged him. Lucifer was tempted to say nothing for the rest of the night, but he couldn't ignore his second in command if this was one of those rare occasions where he had something important to say.

“Okay Michael, speak,” Lucifer said. Instead, Michael sat down next to him, refusing to look directly at him as he gathered his thoughts. After a long silence, Michael cleared his throat.  

“I spoke to Natalie,” Michael said finally.

“Who?” Lucifer asked. He made it a point to never remember any human's name, regardless of importance. Michael would have to be more specific.

“The prophecy girl,” Michael said. As yes, Lucifer had asked Michael to take care of that particular issue for him for obvious reasons. The end of days were coming soon so it wasn't a surprise that he'd brought her up now.

“What about her?” Lucifer asked. Michael looked nervous. So, he was expecting bad news.

“She's willing to break the contract on two conditions,” Michael said. Lucifer's eyes widened. That was the opposite of bad news.

“That's one less thing to worry about. What does she want? Even if it's ridiculous, it'd be worth it to end all this prophecy nonsense,” Lucifer said. Michael grinned, a cheesy grin. The kind that signaled to Lucifer that he'd just fallen into a trap.

“I'm glad you feel that way because she wants to make a contract with you,” Michael said. The smile never leaving his face even as Lucifer's cool exterior melted into a grimace.

“I don't like people, Michael. Why would you waste my time with this?” Lucifer asked. Michael didn't answer, but he recognized the look on his face well enough. Great, as if one love sick fool wasn't enough, Michael had a crush on the prophecy girl, lovely.

“What was the other condition?” he asked instead.

“The standard your soul doesn't go to Hell because you accidentally summoned the devil clause. It's really the other request that kept me from accepting the deal right away,” Michael said.

Well, at least, Michael hadn't promised the girl something he couldn't guarantee. The prophecy itself had always been a thorn on his side. This girl was a variable he couldn't control. Lucifer hated not being in control. He definitely wasn't going to surrender his power to a teenager, even if it robbed Zadkiel of whatever slim chance they had of winning.

“Would she accept another angel?” he asked. The girl might of just named the first angel she could think of. Humans were simple that way.

“No, I already offered. She only wants you,” Michael said with a shrug. He wasn't quite able to hide the annoyance in his voice.

“Tell her I'm not interested and offer her something else,” Lucifer said finally, standing up. He'd had quite enough of this conversation. A teenage girl couldn't be that hard to bribe.

“I figured you'd say no, but I thought I'd ask you anyway,” Michael said.

“Next time, feel free to just say no,” Lucifer said, summoning his wings.

“It's for the best. You probably couldn't handle being around a human for so long. She'd drive you crazy. You're not exactly a people person,” Michael said, humming softly to himself. Lucifer narrowed his eyes, perfectly aware of what his brother was trying to do. It was working.

“Is that a challenge, Michael?” he asked. His brother smiled lazily at him.

“Why would I challenge you when I know you can't do it? That would be cruel,” Michael said, examining his fingernails. Lucifer clenched his fists, visibly shaking in fury.

“I'm perfectly capable of associating with humans. I just chose not to,” Lucifer said, in a vain attempt to keep the rational side of his brain in control.

“I think you're scared being around a human will corrupt you. I mean we've been discussing humans for all of two seconds and you're already red in the face,” Michael said slyly. Lucifer took a deep breath, getting self conscious.  

“Make the deal, Michael,” he said finally.

“Really? Are you sure?” Michael said, knowing full well he'd never back out now.

“Yes, make the deal and break her contract with Zadkiel. I can babysit for a few months,” Lucifer said in a huff.

Michael gave him a quick salute before taking off. He hated when Michael of all people antagonized him. Lucifer sat back down and banished his wings with a thought, no longer in the mood to fly. He'd like to enjoy the peace and quiet for a few more hours before being dragged into purgatory to spend time with an annoying human girl.

Natalie sat on her bed and tried to concentrate on her homework, but the fact Zadkiel had been missing for so long was starting to worry her. Maybe, he'd managed to wreak some havoc after all, even with her dubious command not to do anything bad while he was contracted to her. Then, there was the other option. Could he be hurt? No, probably not, the Fallen were usually pretty good at taking care of themselves. She'd start feeling that kind of thing soon enough anyway. Her hand subconsciously went to her stomach. She hoped Michael would come soon with Lucifer's answer. Zadkiel climbed through her window, holding two coffee cups. She felt the tension release from her shoulders.

“You look like the type that likes a lot of sugar in their coffee,” Zadkiel said, handing her a cup. She gladly took it, enjoying the taste of liquid caramel on her tongue. He sat down on the bed, crossing one leg over his knee while looking up. They drank their coffee quietly. Zadkiel was clearly working up to something.

“I was thinking,” he said, putting his empty coffee cup on the floor.

“Mhm,” Natalie mumbled, slurping the last of the caramel goodness from the cup before setting it aside.

“I'd still like to visit you, even if you end the contract,” Zadkiel admitted.

“Really? Are you sure?” Natalie said. The Fallen generally didn't like to associate with humans. There had to be a catch. Then again, Zadkiel had been fairly nice to her outside of the one death threat.

“Yeah, you're a sweet innocent thing. I like sweet innocent things,” Zadkiel said as a butterfly entered through her bedroom window and landed on his finger as if by magic. She marveled at it, wondering if this was a sign from God that Zadkiel also had a good heart, deep down.

“I think you'd be fun to play with,” Zadkiel said, eyes glowing mischievously as he took the butterfly by the wings and ripped it apart without a second thought. Natalie gaped at him. Zadkiel looked at her curiously, unaware of why her heart suddenly spiked.

“Uhm, I don't know. I'd like to be friends, but I don't want to end up like that butterfly,” she said, clutching her stomach as a phantom pain hit her.

“Not again,” she said under her breath. Zadkiel seemed to realize his mistake. He laughed. It did nothing to make Natalie feel better.

“I'm not interested in ripping you apart, honey. You're a garden. I'd like to see you grow, ” Zadkiel said, gingerly removing her hand from her stomach. Natalie let out a shaky breath.

“If you're really that worried, I can leave right now,” Zadkiel said, collecting the coffee cups and chucking them into her small waste basket.

“It's a shame, and here I thought you weren't the kind to judge before you got to know a person,” Zadkiel said, giving her a one last wistful look before turning around. He was half way out the window when she made up her mind.

“Wait, I want you to stay. Just please don't make me regret it,” Natalie said, hugging her arms. Zadkiel flashed her a wicked grin.

“I wouldn't dream of it,” Zadkiel vowed.

Michael landed on Natalie's window sill.  Natalie was lying on the bed, struggling to complete her calculus homework while Zadkiel braided her hair. He frowned. They seemed to have gotten closer since he last saw them. Hopefully, she was still willing to make the deal.

“Hey Nat, I have good news. Lucifer agreed to the deal. You ready to break the contract?” Michael asked. Natalie slammed her calculus homework shut and scrambled over to him.

“Yes, let's take care of this now. Where is he?” she said, practically jumping up and down. It was adorable. She looked around her room eagerly, hoping to spot him.

“You need to break this contract before you can start your new contract with Luce, ” Michael explained, getting nervous when her excited smile turned into a weary frown. The look of disappointment stabbed at him, and he cursed his brother for being difficult.

“I know that, but it's kind of suspicious that you come here claiming that Lucifer agreed to the deal but fail to show up with said Lucifer,” Natalie said, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes in an attempt to look intimidating. He couldn't help but find it cute which only seemed to piss her off more.

“It really is,” Zadkiel interjected.

“Stay out of it, sister,” Michael said, getting the sinking feeling that he'd have to go back to Heaven empty handed and explain to Lucifer that the girl expected him to deliver his message in person. Micheal would do anything to avoid the angry Lucifer that would follow.

“Look it was a miracle he agreed to this at all, please don't make me go up there and drag him down here before we take care of this part,” Michael begged, actually getting on his knees. Her face seemed to soften, and she sighed wistfully, looking up to a Heaven she couldn't see. He couldn't help but feel a pang of jealously.

“Fine, I'll trust you. Get up,” Natalie said. Michael stood and was surprised when the girl took his hand and looked up at him. He hoped the blush on his cheeks wasn't obvious.

“What do I have to do?” she asked.

“Once you break the contract, Hell will try to consume you and possess your body. I'll deliver some of Heaven's essence into you so you snap out of it before it succeeds,” Michael said. She nodded, taking a deep breath, an unconcerned look on her face that said she was already familiar with the idea. It was disquieting to Michael how comfortable this girl was with the idea of Hell.  

“ Zadkiel, I want to break the contract,” she said.

“Done,” Zadkiel said, snapping his fingers. There was a faint purple glow that washed over the room before vanishing moments later.

Natalie fainted. He caught her easily. Michael wondered if that was the reason she had gotten so close to him in the first place. There wasn't time to think of that now. He needed to concentrate. His hands glowed blue, and she twisted and turned in his arms, pain on her face. How he wished he could make the pain go away, there were tears in her eyes, and he couldn't help but wonder what they were discussing. It was always different for everyone.

Natalie woke up in her bedroom. Zadkiel was beside her on the bed, waiting for her to wake. She wanted to relax, but she had a nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right. Then, she realized. Michael was nowhere in sight.

“Where's Michael?” she asked. Zadkiel shrugged.

“After he took care of your little Hell problem, he left to go deliver your message to Lucifer. It's what you wanted right?” Zadkiel asked. She nodded, feeling some of the tension leave her body. Zadkiel sat up, looming over her. She felt her heartbeat quicken. He had that predatory look on his face again, and there was no one to save her this time.

“You have such pretty hair,” he murmured, stroking it. She flinched as she realized what was happening. Natalie sat up and backed away from Zadkiel subtly.

“Zadkiel, I order you to go,” Natalie said, unsure if Hell would play along or not. Hell smirked.

“Oh, did I give myself away already?” Hell said with a pout, finger on its lips. Heterochromatic eyes watching her like a piece of meat it had yet to devour.

“What a shame, you're always so fun to play with,” Hell said, revealing it's unsettling smile.

“I'll be out of here soon enough, and you won't be my problem anymore,” Natalie said icily, hand on her bedroom door. Would there even be anything on the other side?

Hell didn't make a move to follow her. Instead, it sat up and crossed its arms looking at her in amusement. Her face scrunched up in anger as she looked at its stupid face. This was all its fault.  

“You're not happy in this world are you?” It asked her, catching her off guard. The anger faded as she started feeling self conscious. Was her misery really so obvious?

“It's okay. I guess. At least, Lucifer's happy,” Natalie said, choosing to look on the bright side. Hell laughed and laughed. She felt the anger rise in her chest. Christ, she hoped Lucifer's influence hadn't given her anger issues.

“What's so funny?” she asked, silently fuming. What did this pitiful creature know of happiness?

“He's just as miserable as you. That boy wasn't ever one for rules. The only difference now is that he's behaving,” Hell said, clicking its tongue at her. She eyed the creature suspiciously unsure what it was playing at.

“How would you know what Lucifer's feeling? You're not connected anymore,” Natalie reasoned.

“It's just a guess. I remember him same as you,” Hell said. Oh, she looked down at her carpet, unsure what was taking Michael so long, at least the thing hadn't tried to touch her yet.

“I can change the world back to the way it was,” Hell said suddenly. Natalie felt as if her heart stopped. She dropped to her knees, for once feeling so very tempted. Tears began to fall from her face. She shook her head. This thing would say anything to make her come closer.

“You're lying. You don't have that kind of power. You're not God,” she shouted as she felt Heaven's essence surge through her. Hell was undeterred, a suggestive grin on his face.

“But I am Hell, fulfill the contract and I will grant your wish,” Hell said.

“I already broke it,” Natalie said in a low whisper. She hid her face in her hands, unwilling to face the horrible choice presented to her, crawl back into Hell's awaiting arms and reunite with her deeply broken surly guardian angel or live in a world with a Lucifer who would never love her as much as she loved him.  

“You're still here with me aren't you?” Hell said, taking the form of her Satan before walking over to her. She did not move. Did she want this? He embraced her, and she felt herself slowly being sucked into the creatures slimy flesh. Natalie recoiled, but her heart and mind were divided and part of her screamed to fulfill the contract before it was too late. Memories flooded unbidden of her Lucifer. Always fighting tooth and nail to keep her alive, he'd given up everything to keep her out of Hell. If she did this now, he'd hate her for it.

“Get out of me head”, she screamed, just barely pulling herself away from the mound of flesh. Their current reality began to fade as she started to wake. Hell did not try to consume her again. Instead, it whispered one last time in her ear.

“You know where to find me, if you change your mind.” Natalie shivered involuntarily. She missed his voice. No, she missed him.

The first thing she saw when she awoke was Michael's worried face. She was grateful. Now, she knew she was in the real world. Natalie cupped his cheek without thinking. Maybe, she'd been too hard on Michael all these years.

“See that wasn't so hard,” Michael said jokingly as he put her down. A sudden chill gripped her at this words. He had no idea what she had just given up. Natalie shouldn't blame him, but she did.

“Oh, go to Hell, Michael,” Natalie snapped, shoving him roughly. Zadkiel was looking out her window, a tiny smile on his lips. Michael stood there in shock.  

“Hurry up and bring Lucifer or I will team up with Zadkiel and make your life a living Hell for being a rotten liar,” Natalie said, pointing a finger at his chest accusingly.

“I'll help her, just to spite you,” Zadkiel promised, turning to look at Michael. He bristled, a frown on his lips as he looked at the two of them.  

“Okay, okay, I'm going. I'm going.” Michael said. Natalie watched him leave in a huff. Zadkiel walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulders.  

“Congrats, sweetheart, you're getting exactly what you wanted,” Zadkiel said, excited enough for the both of them. Natalie didn't feel quite so victorious. Hell had soured the reunion for her considerably. This Lucifer was not her angel, and he never would be.  

“You don't mind if I stick around for the ceremony do you?” Zadkiel asked sweetly. Natalie stiffened, remembering Zadkiel's vested interest in corrupting Lucifer. Is that why he'd tactfully asked her if could stick around after the contract? Once again, someone was using her to get to Lucifer. Natalie wasn't going to make that mistake again.

“Get out and don't come back,” Natalie hissed. Zadkiel let go of her as if he'd been burned. His eyes narrowed, and Natalie glimpsed the darkness underneath his kind facade.

“Was it something I said? Or did Hell make you a little skittish around me?” Zadkiel asked, playing up his innocence. Natalie didn't buy it for a second. She was too paranoid to reconsider.

“Get out, I don't want you here when Lucifer arrives,” Natalie said.

Zadkiel's eyes widened a fraction as he understood her reservations. His smile grew infinitely larger. He ruffled her hair again. She swatted his hand away, keeping a serious stern look on her face.

“You want to protect your little angel friend, how cute,” Zadkiel said, getting up.

“I'll play along for now,” Zadkiel said, picking up his knives from the floor. He licked her blood off the blade and gave her a knowing look.

“But sooner or later, one of you will come to me,” Zadkiel said, mysteriously depositing the knives somewhere on his person. They were far too large to stick in his pockets. He climbed out her window just as her dad called her to dinner.

When Natalie was far too distracted to engage in small talk with her father, she lied about having a migraine and excused herself. Since she had a fresh start, Natalie did her best to complete her homework, but her mind kept wandering. She found herself staring at the clock more often than not, unsure how long a trip to Heaven and back actually took. Did Lucifer change his mind?

There was a loud knock on the door. She jumped up from her bed, startled. Could that be him? She hesitated at the door, before ultimately deciding to turn the doorknob. Natalie would have to see him sooner or later. When she opened the door, it was not who she expected. Her father held up a letter, a frown on his face.

“You applied for a foreign exchange student to live in our house without telling me?” Alex asked.

“No, I didn't,” Natalie said, a little flustered. It was rare that her father was so disappointed in her. She didn't even remember signing anything. Then, it clicked.

“Wait, now, I remember. Yes, I did. I was going to tell you, but it slipped my mind,” Natalie said, an apologetic grin on her face. Her father analyzed her for a moment, looking for any signs she was lying before ultimately letting it go. He'd always been very forgiving.

“Well, Lucian's waiting for you downstairs.  Why don't you show him to his room?” Alex suggested cheerfully.

“Okay,” she said, running downstairs. Lucian huh? Not the name she would have gone with, but she was sure it would grow on her. She stopped at the foot of the stairs,  a sigh on her lips. Hopefully, this new Lucifer would grow on her too. She spied on him from the stairway. Lucifer was sitting on the couch in his tiny Stan form, flipping channels obsessively for something to watch. He was wearing a white and blue sport jacket and a pair of blue jeans. It didn't suit him.

“Hi Lucian,” she said with a wink. He visibly cringed at the sound her voice. Her face fell, but she hid it quickly. Natalie wanted to make a good first impression.

“I'm going to show you to your room,” she said, offering him her hand. A cold look crossed his face as he turned off the television and stood, walking right past her. To be fair, Satan would have done the same thing at this point in their relationship. It still stung.

“Alright then,” she said, forcing a smile on her face. It was her brazenly cheerful nature that had one him over the first time. Natalie would just have to force the smile until she actually felt like smiling. He waited for her on top of the stairs. Natalie escorted him to Max's old bedroom as promised. She followed him in and closed the door.  

“I'm so glad you're finally here,” she said, running over to hug him. Lucifer flinched at her touch but allowed himself to be hugged. She frowned. He was so stiff and uncomfortable around her. She wasn't sure what to do. Natalie let him go for now.

“So, are you ready to start the contract?” she asked, holding out a knife from Max's knife collection. A brief look of shock crossed his face before he snatched the knife and glowered at her.

“I'm here, aren't I? Isn't that good enough for you? Why cut up your hand if you don't have to?” Lucifer asked. Aware of what he was doing, she narrowed her eyes at him.

“The deal was I get a contract with you. It's not a contract if you can ditch me any time you want,” she said, surprised at the venom in her voice. Ugh, Satan might have been right about her having abandonment issues.

“Fine,” Lucifer said with gritted teeth as he retrieved a parchment from his jacket with his symbol on it. The symbol itself hadn't changed. She fought the nostalgia creeping through her senses. Lucifer handed her the knife. She didn't bother to listen to his instructions. She'd done this before. Cutting her finger, she traced the symbol with her blood. The symbol glowed briefly and a golden smoke surrounded them. When the smoke cleared, he appeared in his angel form. Lucifer hadn't changed much. He wore a white robe now, and his piercing were made of gold, but otherwise, he had the same scowl on his face as always. Her breath hitched.

“Happy?” he grumbled. She nodded, hugging him again.

“Are you going to do that all the time?” Lucifer asked, irritation in his voice.

“Yup,” Natalie said, enjoying the moment. He wasn't going to like this next part.

“I order you stay with me forever,” Natalie said. Lucifer immediately pushed her away.

“I think you're forgetting about the apocalypse, dear,” he said icily.

“I order you not to fight in the apocalypse,” Natalie said with a smirk. She was starting to feel like her old self again. His anger was easier to deal with than his indifference.

“You can't do that,” Lucifer sputtered.

“I just did,” Natalie said, relishing in his uncertainty.

“This was a mistake. Break the contract, now,” Lucifer demanded. Natalie stifled a laugh. Did he really think he was still in charge? How precious, she wasn't used to dealing with a naive Lucifer. It was making her giddy.

“Oh Luci, you've never been in a contract before have you?” she asked.

“Of course, I haven't. I don't like humans,” Lucifer sneered.

“I'm in charge, and I'm never letting you go,” she said. It really was as simple as that. This new Lucifer would just have to deal with it.    

“How is that fair?” Lucifer asked baffled. Natalie's hand went to her stomach involuntarily.

“ I risk being collateral damage every time someone wants to harm you, dude,” Natalie said. His anger morphed into something resembling concern. She wasn't sure.

“So, why would you want to do this if you know the risks?” Lucifer asked, taking her hand to heal the tiny cut on her finger. The rainbow light distracted her, triggering a memory she was fond of, and she answered without thinking.

“I love you,” Natalie said. It was the wrong thing to say. He dropped her hand as if she were contagious and staggered over to the other end of the room. The disgust on his face irked her. She wasn't that gross looking. It's not like she was leaking or anything.  

“Don't look at me like that. I mean platonically,” Natalie said in an effort to calm him down.

“You were my best friend. Are my best friend? I better not end up with butterfly syndrome,” Natalie said, starting to ramble. He seemed to relax a little but still looked at her with suspicion.

“Why exactly did you contract me, girl?” Lucifer asked. Natalie should really stop mentioning the other timeline all the time, but if she didn't, the whole situation made her look super clingy.

“My name's Natalie, use it,” Natalie said instead. He shot her an annoyed look.

“Is that an order?” he asked.

“Do you want me to make it one?” Natalie said. She'd missed their playful banter.  

“Why exactly did you contract me, Natalie?” Lucifer said, correcting himself.

“You promise not to freak out on me?” she asked, Zadkiel's blade against her throat fresh on her mind. There was a hint of a smile on his lips.

“I promise,” he said, raising his hand.

“Okay, then,” Natalie said, walking over to him and sitting down. Lucifer instinctively moved a few inches away from her. Natalie wanted to hug the skittishness out of him but decided now wasn't the time for that.

“We were friends before the world reset, and I wanted to see you again,” Natalie said, pushing two of her fingers together to distract herself. Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

“So, you forced me out of Heaven.” Natalie couldn't stand his scathing glare.  

“Well, you were Satan. I might have picked up a few bad habits from you,” Natalie admitted jokingly. She was such a selfish shellfish. It was not the best way to break the news to Lucifer.

“What?” He had his head in his hands, not quite believing what he was hearing.

“Did I not mention that yet?” Natalie said, getting nervous. What if he had a mental breakdown?

“You know what, forget, I said anything. You're good now right? I mean you still hate people which isn't great, but you're not secretly planning a rebellion right now. Are you?” Natalie asked, rambling again.

“No, of course not,” Lucifer snapped at her. Natalie tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he slapped it away.

“So, you want to corrupt me so you can get your “friend” back,” Lucifer said. She did not appreciate his use of air quotes around the word friend.

“Dude no, I made a deal with God to give you a second chance. There was just a slight miscommunication on my part as to what I meant by that, ” Natalie said, hoping he wouldn't call her out on it.

“You wanted me to stay Satan. You selfish bitch. Oh Father, it's already starting,” Lucifer said, putting a hand over his mouth. Natalie giggled, and he shot her another glare. She wasn't exactly helping her case.

“I should have known this would happen. God's favorite son and all that,” Natalie said, fiddling with her hair. This isn't exactly how she pictured her reunion with Lucifer going. Things had taken a turn for the worse.

“Look Natalie, if I was anything like Zadkiel, I wasn't your friend. I was just being nice to manipulate you into doing what I wanted. So you should,” Lucifer said, attempting to let her down easy before she cut him off.

“Yeah no, you were horrible most of the time, but deep down, you were my marshmallow,” Natalie said, giving him another hug which he accepted but did not reciprocate.

“What's a marshmallow?” he asked, completely clueless. She smiled warmly at him. Angel Lucifer really was just precious sometimes.

“Soft and squishy animal fat,” Natalie said. Lucifer gagged. She laughed, patting his back in what she hoped he would see as a reassuring gesture. He stiffened but didn't run away from her touch.

“So, the times when you did something nice, I knew it was because you cared, even if you didn't want to show it.” There was a long silence as Lucifer considered her words.

“Even so, I don't care about you now,” Lucifer said. If she were a garden, her heart would have withered on the vine at hearing those words. Despite the heartache, she stayed calm. Natalie had already accepted this reality when she rejected Hell.

“I know, but I want us to be friends again,” Natalie said, holding on to the hope that it was possible. He'd been hating humans from a far for quite a while now, but he didn't seem to be that familiar with Earth or the people in it. She could use that.

“I don't. I want to go back to Heaven,” Lucifer said. She didn't blame him.

“You don't have a choice. I'm not letting you go until we're friends again, and the end of days, well end,” Natalie said. She was determined to make this work, dammit.  

“You're a child,” Lucifer said. There was another hint of a smile there.

“Yes, I'm legally a child for a few more months,” Natalie said. He snickered, and it finally dawned on her. Lucifer liked when she acted childish, only one way to be sure.

Natalie rested her head on his lap and confiscated his left hand, holding it tightly against her, taking comfort in the warmth it provided. She felt him stiffen at her touch, and she started having second thoughts. What if she scared him off? What was the angel equivalent of what happened in Oregon? She didn't want to find out.

“I see why he liked you, you're innocent,” Lucifer said, patting her on the head with his free hand. She relaxed, pleased to be making some kind of progress.

“Do you still believe I'm trying to corrupt you?” Natalie asked, just the tiniest bit insecure about where they currently stood. When an angel thinks your the devil, it was probably time to start questioning your life choices.

“I don't know. Are you?” Lucifer asked in a familiar sarcastic tone.

“Nah, I've tried my hand at evil, wasn't good at it,” Natalie said, delighted he was starting to open up a little.

“Really? What did you do? Steal a kid's lolly pop?” Lucifer asked skeptically.

“Actually, I convinced you to poison your brother and sell him to War so you could win the apocalypse or whatever,” Natalie said, realizing a second too late that it was probably too soon to mention that.

“What?” Lucifer asked. If he didn't think she was the devil before, he certainly did now.

“That was probably a conversation for another time, wasn't it?” Natalie said, hiding her shame behind Lucifer's stolen hand. Lucifer used the opportunity to squish her face. Ow.  

“Yeah, we're coming back to that one. I can't believe I'm contracted to the devil,” Lucifer said, confirming her suspicions. Natalie was so embarrassed.  

“Shut up, I learned it from you,” Natalie said, pushing his hand away now that he was attacking her. He didn't go for a second attempt like her Satan would have. She looked up to see his expression had grown serious. Maybe, she shouldn't have said that.  

“That's what scares me,” Lucifer muttered. Ah geez, he was finally starting to lighten up, and she ruined it.

“If it makes you feel better, we backed out of the deal and got him back,” Natalie said, skipping over some of the more scandalous details. Michael had been crucified because of her actions, and she'd just told him to go to Hell. Natalie would apologize next time she saw him.

“A little, he hated your guts for a few days and forgave you didn't he?” Lucifer asked which only made her feel worse. Not only had he forgiven her, he saved her life when Lucifer had been too far gone to think of her, but that was a conversation for another time.

“Yeah, something like that. How did you know?” she asked.

“There's a reason he's my favorite sibling,” Lucifer said, eyes glowing briefly.

Had Michael talked him out of rebelling during the Fall? She felt it was too soon to ask.

“So, what's Heaven like?” Natalie asked instead. Maybe, she'd actually get an answer this time.

“I'm not allowed to tell you,” Lucifer said. She nodded, not surprised. No angel had ever given her a straight answer. The Fallen either refused to say anything at all or yelled at her for daring to ask.

A comfortable silence followed which was strange. Normally, she couldn't stand the quiet, but she felt at peace. Had he slipped some of Heaven's essence into her to shut her up without her realizing it? No, she would have noticed the rainbow glow of his hands on her if he did that. Maybe, she should leave and let him get settled in. Natalie did have unfinished homework waiting for her in her room. Still, she couldn't stop the nagging feeling he wouldn't be there if she took her eyes off him even for a moment. Natalie felt Lucifer's hand stroking her hair suddenly and she made up her mind. She wasn't going anywhere.

“But, I'm sure you'll get to see Heaven yourself someday, and your loved ones will be waiting for you so don't worry about it so much,” Lucifer said. Natalie felt tears streaming down her face as the realization hit her. She might actually get to see Heaven this time around. Natalie drifted off to sleep for once dreaming of angels instead of Hell.

 


	3. Not the Best Day Ever

###  **Not the Best Day Ever**

 

Natalie awoke the next morning in her own bed. A slight panic set in as she looked around and saw no sign of Satan anywhere. Then, she remembered. She wasn't dealing with the devil anymore. An Angel wouldn't watch her sleep. He had his own room. Cranky and disoriented, she turned off her alarm. Natalie spotted her homework neatly placed in a pile by her nightstand. Shit. She hadn't finished her homework. Moving fast, she shoved the papers into her backpack and got dressed. Maybe, she could still ask for an extension or extra credit or something. She planned to graduate this year, apocalypse or not.

Once out the door, she paused, staring at Lucifer's room, right across from hers. He'd written his code name, Lucian, in elegant script above the door. Natalie didn't want to be late, but she couldn't help herself. Would he still be there? Turning the doorknob, she barged in, half expecting the room to be empty. It wasn't. Lucifer was resting on Max's old bed, looking out the window at the sky above. Her heart skipped a beat, and she mouthed Thank God under her breath. If he noticed, he didn't acknowledge it. After a few seconds of silence, she finally worked up the nerve to speak.

“You're an angel so I don't feel the need to keep you under house arrest all the time like I had to with Satan. I'd feel bad so you can go out while I'm at school if you want,” Natalie offered.

“How kind of you,” Lucifer said in a tone that implied the opposite. He still couldn't go to Heaven, and it was her fault. Natalie looked away and did her best to tell him what she needed to say.

“And, umm, it's fine if your brothers come visit you and you wanna talk to them, but if they start talking to you about end of days business just turn around and walk the other way. That's an order,” Natalie said. If nothing else, she planned on keeping Lucifer in one piece this time. At this command, he tore his gaze away from the window and marched towards her, absolutely furious. Natalie backed away instinctively. An angel wouldn't hurt her, but she recognized that look of fury all too well.  

“You're ridiculous. I'm not going to be able to stay out of the fight. I'm the strongest angel. They need me,” Lucifer said, talking to her as if she were a small child. She ignored him and continued.  

“All I ask is that you come back every day at four thirty when I get home from school. That's also an order,” Natalie added sheepishly, glancing at the clock in Max's room. She needed to go. Natalie stole a quick hug and handed him some clothes to wear in case he decided to go outside. He shot her an annoyed look but said nothing. At least, he was getting used to her hugs. That's something.

“I'll see you later, Lucifer. Be good,” Natalie said without thinking. Lucifer looked offended. Natalie bit her lip in an effort to stifle a laugh.

“I'm an angel now. You don't have to constantly tell me to be good,” Lucifer said. Natalie chose not to say anything else in case her laughter escaped and infuriated him even more.

The girl ran out the door, leaving Lucifer to his own devices. When she'd told him to stay with her forever, he'd interpreted the command a bit too literally. Last night had left him bored out of his mind with absolutely nothing to do. He'd burned through the reading material available rather quickly, and he didn't understand what half the things in the room were for. Lucifer was actually grateful for the clarification. The impulse to obey had been too strong to ignore as if the weight of Heaven itself was forcing him to keep his word. The girl had basically stripped him of his freewill, and it was bringing back unpleasant memories of a past he'd tried to bury. Lucifer never wanted to serve humans, and yet, he'd willingly allowed himself to be tied to one because of a feeble promise he'd made to prove Michael wrong. Basically, he was an idiot. Perhaps, he deserved this fate for what he'd done in a life he did not remember.

  Lucifer examined the clothes she'd left for him, a red plaid shirt and some black slacks. The kind of an outfit a devil would wear, just perfect. He sighed, debating on whether or not to accept the offering, before ultimately giving in. If he wanted to go outside, he needed to blend in, and Lucifer desperately required a taste of freedom if he was going to live with this brat indefinitely. Anything to feel less trapped. Ditching the robe, he ripped the red plaid shirt open, losing a few buttons in the process before pushing his arms through each sleeve. Lucifer did his best to button up the shirt, but inevitably, the thing didn't look quite right. He slipped on the slacks, easily enough at least.

Why did he even care? What did it matter if some human gawked at him while he was walking down the street? Lucifer just wanted out. And yet, when he looked at himself in the stand alone mirror, Lucifer for a moment saw a demon instead of an angel, a horrifying what could have been. Lucifer shook his head. That reality was never coming back. He ran his fingers through his slicked back hair, and decided, good enough. Not bothering to disguise himself, he ran downstairs. Both McAllister's were thankfully occupied elsewhere the majority of the day.  Lucifer walked out the door and didn't look back.

So far, Earth wasn't looking so great. There were neatly ordered boxes people lived in as far as his eyes could see along two parallel lines. Occasionally, some odd contraption would flit by with humans nestled in it, either slowly being devoured or being carried to places unknown by some unfamiliar beast of burden. He hoped it was the former. Then, something familiar caught his eye. A wolf? No, Lucifer did not see a fiercely independent canine with a strong sense of loyalty to its family before him that he had once admired, long ago. The thing in front of him was large but friendly, far too trusting of a stranger. He sighed. It had been domesticated, how terribly disappointing. Humans really did ruin everything.

Even so, it wasn't its fault. He gave the animal a small pat of appreciation before walking away. The beast followed him. A human soon started shouting some nonsense name, beckoning the animal to return. Good riddance, he'd have a chance to escape now.

“Hey there, stranger, wait a minute,” the woman shouted. He didn't know what made him stop.

“I've never seen him take a shine to someone so quickly. How would you like to walk him for me? ” the woman suggested. Lucifer's eye twitched.

“Excuse me?” Were humans always looking for favors?

“You'll get paid of course. It's just all the dog walkers in the area refuse to walk him now, and he's so calm around you,” the woman explained. Michael did say he would probably need money at some point. He had suggested Lucifer ask Gabriel for money, but this seemed like a better option.

“Alright,” Lucifer decided. He just needed to walk this dog creature. How hard could it be? The woman gave him the money up front, shoved a piece of metal into a loop located on the collar around its neck and handed him the leash. Once he was out of her line of sight, he tossed the leash and allowed the dog to walk beside him.

Since he'd already been paid, Lucifer saw no reason to return the dog and acquired about seven other dogs from various other humans before Michael found him. His brother looked horrified for reasons Lucifer didn't quite understand. If collecting dogs and money from gullible humans made his short stay on Earth more bearable, he saw no reason not to do so.  

“Hey Luce, I just popped in to check on you. I see you've . . . made some friends,” Michael said, forcing a smile. Lucifer saw right through him and didn't bother with any pleasantries.  

“There just dogs Michael. They'll blindly follow anyone. See a couple are circling you now,” Lucifer said with a smirk as his brother did his best to keep his composure as several of the larger dogs tackled him to the ground. It was always a pleasure to see Michael squirm. He recovered quickly, sitting up and examining the tiny circles dangling from each dog's collar.

“So, these dogs all seem to belong to humans in the neighborhood. How exactly did you get a hold of them?” Michael asked, petting one of the dogs next to him absently.

“The humans gave me money to take them so I did,” Lucifer said, deciding it was better to play dumb than admit his wrong doing. It worked. Immediately, a look of pity crossed Michael's face.  

“Oh Luce, you're supposed to give them back when you're done,” he said, standing up and wiping the dirt off his street clothes.

“I am, whoops,” Lucifer said in a dead pan tone. His brother didn't notice his insincerity.

“See, this is why I told you to just get money from Gabe. You don't understand this place well enough to get a job yet,” Michael said, placing his hands on Lucifer's shoulders.

“It seemed like an easy gig,” Lucifer said, ignoring Michael's condescension.

“I know, but you need be careful when you're dealing with humans, especially in Gingersnaps' neighborhood. We don't want to get her in trouble,” Michael said because obviously the most important thing was to make Lucifer's abductor comfortable.

“No, we wouldn't want that. She's always sooo considerate of others needs,” Lucifer said, the sarcasm in his voice thick. Michael remained oblivious and smiled brightly at the mere mention of his crush.

“She really is. I know you don't like humans, Luce, and I kind of tricked you into it, but I think you'll really like her. Natalie is one of the best humans around,” Michael assured him. Lucifer rolled his eyes. He was clearly biased.

“Then, I really don't want to meet the rest,” Lucifer muttered. If his brother heard him, he didn't say anything. Instead, he rounded the dogs up and called for him to follow.

“Come on, let's take these dogs back to their owners before you get yourself in a heap of trouble.”

Lucifer followed without a word, dismayed as his brother found the discarded leashes and restrained the dogs willingly following them everywhere. He just didn't see the point. Why did humans feel the need to shackle everything? His mind wandered to the girl's smiling face as she answered, “ Because I love you.” He shook his head to dispel the thought. Lucifer wasn't a dog she could chain up until the apocalypse was over. He'd find a way to get out of the contract before then.

One by one, they returned the dogs until only the one that originally followed him remained. They were outside the woman's door. The dog just sat there looking at him with adoring eyes, wagging its tail. At least, this one kind of looked like a wolf. Michael tapped him on the shoulder and handed him the leash. Lucifer sighed and looked away as he asked Michael for a favor.

“Can I keep this one?” Michael blinked as if not completely comprehending the question.

“This dog already belongs to someone else. We have to give him back,” Michael said in the same condescending tone he'd been using since he'd found him wandering around with a pack of dogs. Lucifer resisted the urge to punch him in the face.

“She doesn't know how to handle him properly. He's better off with me,” Lucifer said, never mind the fact that his stay on Earth was temporary. Lucifer wasn't the best at picking his battles. This just felt really important, even as it occurred to him that it really wasn't.

“Look, I know this is hard for you. I'll take him,” Michael decided, attempting to take the leash from him. Lucifer's grip tightened on the rope he so despised.  

“No,” Lucifer said, unsure were the sudden uptick of anger was coming from.

“What do you mean, no? This dog belongs here. You don't know how to take care of a dog. What's gotten into you?” Michael said, completely lost as to what was going on with him.

“Just let me keep her,” he shouted. His eyes widened and he dropped the leash. Just then, the woman stepped out and called to the dog. The beast returned to its master, and the woman thanked him for his service, asking him if he'd like to take him out for a walk again sometime. Lucifer said he'd consider it. Michael didn't say a word, but the worried look on his face spoke volumes.

“What was that about?” he asked finally when the woman returned to her house, and they were alone. Lucifer didn't understand it himself.

“I don't know. Can you just drop it?” Lucifer said, walking away, but of course, Michael wasn't going to drop it.  

“Hey, I'm not supposed to talk about it, but did you remember something?” he asked. Lucifer froze as the past he didn't remember reared its ugly head. Had he known all along? He shook his head and kept walking.

“Are you sure?” he asked, sounding afraid. At this, Lucifer stopped and glared at his brother. The underlying resentment finally boiling to the surface.  

“Did they tell you about the other reality? Is that why you always act like I'm about to snap?” Lucifer asked. Michael shook his head, startled.

“Other reality? What are you talking about, Luce? I'm just supposed to report to Raphael if you ever act weird and start remembering painful memories that don't make sense anymore, or that's how he explained it at least,” Michael said, getting increasingly nervous at Lucifer's death glare.

“And, what exactly would happen if I admitted to remembering such painful memories, dear brother?” Lucifer asked. Were his memories intact once? It was strange the girl was allowed to remember him, but he did not remember the girl. Michael gulped.

“Raphael would make you forget. It's supposed to help with emotional healing or something. Are you mad? You seem mad,” Michael said, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

“Not at you,” Lucifer said quietly. The tension in the air remained thick.

“When was the last time I remembered something?” he asked finally. Michael hesitated.

“I'm not supposed to say,” he said, but Lucifer raised an eyebrow. They both knew, when it came to Lucifer, Michael was willing to break the rules.

“We were young and playing hide and seek with Zadkiel and Uriel. Humans weren't around yet. It was your turn to find us, but you kept shouting, why am I here? Where is she?” Michael said. Hmm, did his repressed memories always center around the girl? Why? Why was a human so damn important to him then?

“I was worried about you so I went to find Raphael while Zadkiel tried to calm you down. When I told him, he wasn't surprised. Raphael said he'd heal you,” Michael said. He looked guilty. Good.

“You tried to run when you spotted him, but Zadkiel and Uriel held you back,” Michael said. Whatever trust Lucifer had left in his family eroded as he realized that they all had to have known something to keep this from him for so long.

“Once you were filled with Heaven's essence, you calmed down, and Raphael kept muttering something while he worked. I wasn't close enough to hear it. When I asked you who you were looking for later, you didn't remember,” Michael said. They'd returned to the girl's house without him consciously realizing that's where he'd been heading.  

“That long ago, huh,” Lucifer said, maybe being on Earth was triggering his memories. Michael nodded before taking a deep breath.

“Actually, I'm not just here to check on you. I have some new intel on the end of days.  I'd almost forgotten with this whole memory business,” Michael said, alarmed when Lucifer immediately started walking away.

“Hey, where are you going? Don't tell me being on Earth has already eroded your strong work ethic,” Michael said, running to catch up to him. Lucifer didn't have a choice. The impulse to obey the girl was too strong to ignore. It was humiliating.

“Stop talking about the end of days, Michael, and I'll stop walking away from you,” Lucifer explained.  

“Okay, okay, maybe, it was too soon to jump into work talk after the whole memory wipe confession,” Michael said, looking guilty again. Lucifer shook his head, if only it were that simple.

“That's not it. The girl ordered me to walk away if any of my siblings approached me and wanted to talk about the apocalypse that's coming,” Lucifer said. He really should have let Michael know the situation earlier. Maybe, this would finally crush that crush he had on the annoying brat.

“Why would she do that?” Michael asked confused.

Because she's the devil? Hmm, too callous, Lucifer needed to get Michael on his side before bad mouthing the girl.  

“That's not the only thing she's asked of me. I've been forbidden from participating in the apocalypse. Frankly, I get the impression this was her plan from the beginning,” Lucifer said. Michael still didn't seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

“Gingersnap wouldn't do that, just to spite us. There has to be something else going on. I'll talk to her when she gets home,” Michael decided. This wasn't the reaction Lucifer was hoping for, but at least, he had someone else on his side now. Besides, Michael was better with humans than he was. Maybe, Michael could get her to change her mind.  

“We still have a few hours before Nat gets home. Let's stop by the coffee shop, my treat,” Michael said, leading him away from the house. Lucifer let himself be dragged away, if only to avoid his prison for a little while longer.

“We're getting free drinks from Gabe, aren't we?” Lucifer asked.

“Yup,” Michael said, looking a little embarrassed.  It was understandable that Michael didn't carry cash. He didn't come to earth very often.

“Alright,” Lucifer said. He hadn't seen Gabriel in quite some time. Michael always had him running some errand or other. At the moment, he had him spying on the prophecy girl and by extension him. He tried not to take it personally. Gabriel had been looking after the girl from afar for quite some time before he arrived.

The coffee shop was walking distance from the girl's house. It was a small brick and mortar store, and at the moment, there was no one present inside aside from his brother, Gabriel. That was something to be thankful for at least. He was gazing off into space, looking up at the sky lovesick. Bleh.

“Hey, Gabey Baby, how you doing?” Michael asked cheerfully. Gabe expression momentarily soured before returning the greeting.

“What brings you here, Michael?” he asked. His brother wrapped his arm around his shoulders and brought him closer. Lucifer shot him an annoyed look but didn't resist.

“I'm just here to treat, Luce. He's never tried this stuff before. Anything you recommend?” Michael asked. Gabe's expression seemed to soften, and he nodded.

“A double chocolate chip frappuccino for Lucifer and a strawberry lemonade for you,” Gabriel said, getting to work.

Having placed their orders, they sat across from each other in a booth located in the corner, away from any prying eyes that might drop in. Michael gave Lucifer a practiced smile, the kind of smile he used when he planned to be particularly annoying.

“So, how's your vacation going so far?” Michael asked. Is this what he thought this was? Lucifer was in a hostage situation, damn it.

“It's not a vacation. I was coerced into coming here, by you, and now, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to leave until that girl drops dead,” Lucifer said.

“Don't be like that, you two just got off to a rough start. I'm sure we will be able to straighten everything out later. Tell me about your stay on Earth so far. Do you have any questions?” Michael asked, keeping his sunny disposition despite Lucifer's doom and gloom attitude.

Lucifer went on to explain his elaborate ruse to make sure Natalie's father would allow him to roam the house unquestioned. The girl's strange attachment issues, neglecting to mention why she had them in the first place, Lucifer did not want Michael to know how close he'd been to becoming Satan himself. The peculiar mechanical things roaming the roads with people inside, apparently, they were cars and not alive or trying to eat anyone. Gabriel stopped by to give them their drinks before going to attend to some human customers who had just come in. Lucifer inspected the drink, the top was covered in a white fluffy substance, drizzled with some kind of black sticky liquid, the drink itself was brown.

“Go ahead,  take a sip,” Michael said when Lucifer continued to look at his drink suspiciously. At his brother's behest, Lucifer licked the sticky substance off his finger. Oh, it was quite sweet. Convinced, he consumed the drink eagerly, guzzling the entire thing in minutes. Lucifer liked chocolate; he decided.

“What do you think, Luce?” Michael asked.

“I want more,” Lucifer said. It was not a request. Michael laughed and signaled to Gabriel that he wanted to order another drink. Gabriel seemed surprised but granted the request. Before he gave Lucifer his second drink, Gabriel issued a warning.

“I'm glad you enjoyed the drink but keep in mind you are not used to consuming energy this way. I don't want you to get carried away.” Lucifer snatched the drink and drank it greedily. Michael gave Gabriel an apologetic shrug.

Gabriel simply smiled and said, “Enjoy yourselves.”

Michael and Lucifer continued to talk. Mostly, it consisted of Michael explaining various things about Earth and humans with Lucifer asking several follow up questions. Gabriel allowed Lucifer two more Frappuccinos before cutting him off. After a while, Lucifer felt himself getting restless. He glanced at the clock, four fifteen. If he waited any longer, the contract would force him to comply.

“We need to go,” Lucifer said, grabbing Michael roughly by the arm.

“Hey, what's the hurry? Gingersnap's barely making her way home now,” Michael asked as Lucifer dragged him out of the coffee shop.

“I don't have a choice. She wants me to be there by four thirty. That's about as long as it will take to get back to the house,” Lucifer said, gritting his teeth. Michael looked taken back.

“Hmm, that's strange. I've known Natalie since she was a small child, and she's never been this controlling,” Michael said, seriously puzzled before noticing Lucifer's skeptical expression.

“Seriously, based on what you told me, Natalie seems to be suffering from some serious trauma. I don't know what happened. She'd been coping with her Mother's death rather well for the last decade or so, unless something else triggered feelings of abandonment in her,” Michael said. At the suggestion, a small pinprick of guilt hit him. He was likely that trigger, not that he remembered anything that would help alleviate whatever paranoia she was suffering from.  

“Maybe, it's nothing. I wouldn't worry about it,” Lucifer said, like the coward he was.

“I'll ask her when we get there,” Michael said, for once, suspicious of his dismissive tone.

“Whatever, she probably wouldn't tell you anyway,” Lucifer said, getting defensive.

“You know what's bothering her don't you?” Michael asked. Lucifer didn't say anything which unfortunately was as good as an admission of guilt as far as Michael was concerned.

“What did you do?” Michael asked.

“I don't remember, okay. I'm not that person anymore,” he snapped. Michael's eyes widened.

“This has to do with the other reality you mentioned earlier doesn't it? The one that made you mad,” Michael asked. Lucifer did not want to have this conversation right now. It was enough he had to speed walk to meet Natalie's arbitrary curfew.      

“Don't ask her about it okay? You're better off not knowing,” Lucifer said. Michael understood what he actually meant; I don't want you to know and gave Lucifer a pitying look.

“I have to. I can't help her if I don't know what's she's going through. You want her to let you go at some point, don't you?” Michael asked.

“Yes, of course, I do. I'd actually prefer if she let me go, right now. I just don't want you think less of me after this. Can you promise me that?” Lucifer asked. Michael hugged his brother.

“I won't, so stop looking so gloomy,” Michael said. Lucifer relaxed and stopped in his tracks, glancing at the McAllister's house. They'd arrived just in time. The brat better appreciate it.

Lucifer opened the door with the spare key her father had given him, and they entered the house together. He decided since she was traumatized or whatever that it was better to remain in the living room where she would easily spot him. Lucifer shape-shifted into his Lucian form. Her father would arrive soon, and it wouldn't do to be spotted in his adult form.

Lucifer looked up at his entirely too tall brother and tugged at his shirt. Clearly charmed by this, Michael bent down and asked, “What do you want little fella?” 

“You're going to have to shrink if you want to talk to Natalie. You're too big,” Lucifer said. Michael looked confused, missing the obvious again.

“Why?” he asked. Lucifer put a hand to his face and sighed.

“Because her father won't see two prepubescent boy as a threat to his daughter,” Lucifer explained. Michael's eyes lit up.

“Oh, okay, that makes sense,” Michael said, shape shifting into a smaller version of himself.

“If her father asks, you're a friend I made at school,” Lucifer said. Michael nodded eagerly.

The door opened and a defeated looking Natalie walked in. She instantly brightened when she spotted them, giving them both a hug. Michael instantly reciprocated. Lucifer looked off to the side and waited for the hug to end. Tossing her backpack on the couch, she sat down and looked them over. She grinned when she noticed he was wearing the clothes she picked out for him.

“So, who's your friend, Lucian?” Natalie asked, giving him a not so subtle wink. He groaned. She clearly knew who Michael was.  

“Just call him, Michael, it's a common enough name,” Lucifer said. Natalie turned her attention to Michael, bending down to meet his eyes and placing her hands on her knees.

“What brings you here, Michael?” she asked sweetly as if she were talking to a child. Lucifer rolled his eyes. She must be the most annoying human on the planet. Michael either did not notice or did not care. He always loved getting attention.

“I actually just came to chat with my brother, but after talking to him for a bit, I'm worried about you,” Michael admitted. Natalie ruffled his hair.

“That's so sweet, but I'm fine. Everything's going great, more or less,” Natalie said, mind briefly elsewhere before flashing his brother another smile. Michael hesitated a moment, but Lucifer ribbed him in the stomach and reminded him what was at stake.

  “About that Gingersnap, you can't just forbid my brother from participating in the apocalypse. We need him,” Michael said. The smile instantly left her face, but she took a deep breath and recovered. She placed a hand on Michael's shoulder.

“Let's put a pin in that for a minute. I'm really glad you stopped by. I wanted to apologize for telling you to go to Hell earlier when you helped me break my contract with Zadkiel. I was under a lot of stress, and I said things I didn't mean. You've always been there for me, and I'm sorry I've taken you for granted,” Natalie said. Lucifer glared at her, aware of what she was doing. Michael became teary eyed and hugged her again.

“It's okay, Natalie. I know you didn't mean it,” Michael said. Lucifer cleared his throat, and they both turned to look at him.

“That's a lovely sentiment and all, but I believe we were discussing why stranding me on Earth and forbidding me from fighting in the apocalypse is a terrible idea,” Lucifer said. Michael let Natalie go and an awkward silence followed, both unwilling to start another fight just yet.

Natalie's father walked through the door. He was mildly surprised to see Michael there but cheerfully greeted them all without a second thought. Natalie and Michael seemed grateful for the distraction.  

“Hey dad, this is Michael, Lucian's friend from school. He came over for a play date, ” Natalie explained. Lucifer's glare intensified.

“Don't call it a play date,” Lucifer said. Mr. McAllister smiled, making himself comfortable after a long day of dealing with brats. Lucifer couldn't imagine that Hell.

“Don't embarrass, Lucian, Natalie, or he won't bring his little friends over anymore” Mr. McAllister said, going to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

“Would you like to join us for dinner, Michael?” Mr. McAllister shouted from the kitchen.

Clearly forgetting that they were about to have a huge fight, Michael answered, “Sure, Mr. M, I'd love to.” Natalie shot him a look. Michael gave her an innocent shrug. Lucifer just sighed and joined Natalie on the couch. He might as well get comfortable. They all sat in silence for a moment, before Natalie thought up the obvious solution to their current predicament.

“Hey dad, Lucian wanted to know if he could bring Michael upstairs to Max's old room and hang out,” Natalie said. It took a moment for Mr. McAllister to respond as he shuffled various pots and pans around, looks like they were getting a fancy dinner tonight.

“Sure, I don't see why not,” Mr. McAllister said.  

“Great, I'm going upstairs to do my homework,” Natalie said, signaling for them to follow.

Once upstairs, Lucifer headed for his room, but she gestured for them to follow her. Not really caring either way, he changed course and entered her bedroom with Michael close behind. Natalie sat on the bed, a frown on her face as she ran her fingers through her hair. Lost deep in thought for a moment, she said nothing, finally sparing them a glance when Michael tugged at her sleeve as he'd seen Lucifer do earlier.

“You can change back. My dad won't come up here. He'll call us from downstairs when dinner's ready,” Natalie said, her voice flat.

Lucifer didn't need to be told twice. Briefly glowing gold, he morphed back into his usual size. Michael followed his lead and changed back. He sat next to Natalie, saying nothing, still hesitating because of some meaningless words she'd said to soften him up. Enough stalling, Lucifer would just have to jump start the conversation for them.

“Let's get to the big issue here. Why are you so determined to keep me out of the apocalypse? What are you afraid of?” Lucifer asked. Natalie tensed, grabbing a fistful of fabric from the sheets on her bed. Michael shot him a look that clearly said he disapproved of his methods but still waited patiently for Natalie's response. He wanted to know too. She didn't look at him directly when she finally spoke.

“I'm not afraid of anything. It's my turn to protect you.” What? She had to be kidding. He was the strongest archangel with the most battle experience. The chances of him getting seriously hurt were extremely low.

“You're delusional. I don't need your protection, and I don't need you. Do everyone a favor and break the contract,” Lucifer hissed, bracing himself for the waterworks that would inevitably follow. She had the gall to laugh at him.

“You always say that. I don't care if you hate me as long as you're safe,” Natalie said, eyes watering as she remembered things he didn't. Lucifer hadn't been this frustrated in a long time, not since Adam and Eve. What are you even thinking? Are you thinking at all?

“Nat, why are you afraid of Lucifer getting hurt?” Michael asked. Lucifer blanched as he finally understood that the world Natalie had come from had not necessarily been a happy one, why else would she be here with an angel who hated her guts. For once, he had missed the obvious.  

“I'm not. I won't let anything happen to him this time,” Natalie said, successfully dodging the real question.

“What happened to him last time?” Michael pressed. Natalie shook her head. The tears beginning to flow down her cheeks.

“You're wasting your time, Michael. I'm not breaking my contract. I never break my contract with Lucifer. Don't take it personally this time,” Natalie said, getting ready to bolt as she heard her father call them to dinner.

“Natalie, you can't keep my brother trapped with you forever because you're afraid he'll get hurt. What would your Lucifer do if the situation was reversed?” Michael asked, appealing to her better nature. Lucifer winced, knowing what was coming.

“The exact same thing,” Natalie said coldly before miraculously returning to her old bubbly self as she told her dad, “We'll be down in a minute.”

Needless to say, the dinner was awkward and painful to sit through. After the meal, Michael left without a word. Lucifer tried to speak to her after dinner, but she ignored him and started her homework. The pile seemed to have tripled since he last saw it. Since Michael had emphasized the importance of homework in a teenagers life, Lucifer decided to return in a few hours. When he did, she cut him off before he could speak.

“I know what you're going say. Don't bother,” Natalie said.

“Did I die?” he asked. Lucifer planned to learn the truth one way or another, and right now, process of elimination seemed like his best bet. Natalie sighed and pulled the covers closer to herself.

“No, please don't keep going,” Natalie begged.

“Did I go crazy?” he asked. Natalie smiled and rolled her eyes.

“That's not why I'm stuck here with you, no. It didn't help but-” Natalie shut up, realizing she'd said to much. Lucifer made a mental note of that factoid and moved on to the next most likely scenario from what he knew of Hell and demons.

“Did I lose an appendage?” Lucifer asked, satisfied when he heard Natalie's tiny gasp.

“I order you to go back to your room,” Natalie said right after she composed herself, turning her back on him. Her reaction was telling.

“Which one?” he asked. Natalie didn't answer, but her flinch was all the confirmation he needed. Lucifer left willingly after that. Perhaps, if he'd been made to be as sensitive as Raphael or even Gabriel, he might have felt a flicker of remorse for causing her pain or at least, felt some phantom sorrow for his own loss, but he wasn't that kind of angel. He wasn't that miserable devil who had lost his most prized possession. Lucifer knew immediately what would be the most devastating thing for an angel to lose. He'd test his theory tomorrow. Lucifer hadn't had a chance to visit her at school after all.


	4. Not Jealous

###  **Not Jealous**

 

After essentially living through one apocalypse, the daily grind of school was hard to come back to. Thankfully, Natalie had managed to find time in the day to actually get her work done, make up assignments and all. As a reward, the pile of assignments in her hand was significantly smaller than yesterday. Maybe, she could actually keep it up until the end of days hit. Mike waved a hand in front of her face. Huh? She blinked. Her last class of the day was actually a free period. She was too fried to get going on her homework, and she had been waiting out the bell.

“Earth to Natalie, school's out, let me walk you home,” Mike offered. Only then did she finally notice the multitude of student zipping past them, she nodded. Natalie could use some non celestial company for a bit. Standing up, she gathered her things.

“How have you been, Mike?” she asked. No time had passed for him, but she hadn't seen him in months, and she regretted losing touch, even before he understandably shut her out of his life. Mike grinned just happy to be with her.

“Great, my soccer team has been getting ready for the tournament on Saturday so practice has been pretty grueling, but it'll be worth it when we win,” Michael said, confident as ever.

“I'm glad. It's great you have something you're so passionate about. I'm barely keeping up with school, and I already feel like I'm going to drop dead,” Natalie said, her smile slipping as she laughed unconvincingly. That was a bad joke. Michael frowned, clearly concerned, but all Michaels were always stupidly concerned with her welfare. She didn't deserve their kindness.

“Are you okay, Natalie? You've seemed out of it since yesterday, like your not really here. Did something happen?” Michael asked. Natalie felt herself slowing down as the question triggered way too many painful memories. How could she even begin answering that question?

“Yeah, everything's fine. I've just been distracted lately. Don't worry about me,” Natalie said, picking up the pace before Mike decided to stop and interrogate her further. They were halfway to her house when an unexpected visitor blocked their path. What was Lucifer doing here? She hadn't asked him to walk her home.

“Hello Natalie, I was going to escort you, but it looks like my timing was off. I'll stop by earlier, next time,” Lucifer said, far more polite than he would normally be if he'd stumbled across her alone. Wait, did he say, next time? What was he up to?

“Why?” she asked flatly. There was no way he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart. She knew him better than that. Lucifer smirked.

“For your safety of course, the world is a dangerous place,” Lucifer said, attempting to get a rise out of her. Natalie felt the warmth in her cheeks, but otherwise kept her cool. His attention turned to Mike, casting him a disappointed glance.

“And, what are you doing here, brother? Stalking your crush now?” Lucifer asked. Uh-oh, Natalie hadn't had the chance to explain the situation with Mike yet.

“How did you know- wait, who are you? How do you know Natalie?” Michael asked, extremely flustered. Poor Mike. Would it be better to fess up now? Natalie didn't want him to hate her later.

“Are you seriously playing dumb? I'm Lucifer, your brother,” he said, still not realizing his mistake. Well, she wouldn't get a better opportunity to tell Mike what was going on.

“This is Lucifer, my guardian angel. You look a lot like his brother Michael, you know, the archangel. He's a little confused,” Natalie said, placing a hand on Lucifer's shoulder. He finally realized his mistake and shut up. Even so, there was a curiosity in his eyes as he stared at Mike.

“Uh no, Natalie that's just a very tall man with piercings in his ears. I know you've been under a lot of stress lately, but you should be careful who you trust. Have you considered talking to a psychiatrist?” Mike said, not believing a word she said. Why would he? She needed proof.

“ I am an angel. I have the most gorgeous wings in Heaven. Do you want to see? I can show you,” Lucifer said. He might as well have punched her in the gut. Already, she felt a cold dread overtake her as she trembled uncontrollably, tears welling up as she experienced phantom pain on her shoulders from a memory she wasn't supposed to have. No, anything but that.

“I order you not take your wings out in front of me,” Natalie said. Too late, she felt the breeze as he summoned his wings. Against her better judgment, she turned around and briefly saw his largest set of wings: glimmering, beautiful, and whole. She completely lost it and started sobbing uncontrollably.

As she set her eyes on him, Lucifer withdrew his wings. His expression unreadable. Mike stood there speechless. At least, the wings had done their job. He had to believe her now. Mike managed to recover from the shock long enough to comfort her.

“What's wrong, Nat? Because angels are real and I'm freaking out,” Mike asked. She shook her head, not trusting herself to speak right now. He tried again as another thought occurred to him.

“Wait, there's an angel that looks like me, why?” Mike asked. Right, the reason they were even having this conversation in the first place. Natalie wiped her eyes and took a few shaky breaths, but she wasn't out of tears and her voice was barely coherent enough to understand as she spoke.

“God made you to be Michael's body so he can be human after the end of days,” Natalie said.

“What? Why would Father do that?” Lucifer asked, suddenly invested in the conversation. Mike gave up on keeping his composure and let himself sit on the sidewalk, head in his hands.

“This wasn't how I thought today would go at all. I was going to ask you to the prom,” Mike said, as his entire world view came crashing down. Natalie joined him and smiled, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder.

“If it makes you feel better, I would have said yes, but I'm guessing you're not thinking about prom anymore,” Natalie said.

“Yeah, a little,” Mike said. They didn't speak for a few minutes. She honestly just didn't know what else to say. If she hadn't been so distraught over Lucifer at the time, maybe, she could have talked God out of this horrifying end game. As of now, she wouldn't be seeing God until she was good and dead.

“Will that happen to all the angels?” Lucifer asked. His tone was even, but the tension in the air was palpable. Maybe, she shouldn't have mentioned God's end game to the angel who despised all humans.

“All the angels have a human double apparently. So, yeah, that's the impression I got,” Natalie said. Lucifer roughly grabbed her by the arms and lifted her up, narrowing his eyes as he was overtaken by suspicion.

“How do I even know what your saying is true? Who told you this?” Lucifer said, clearly in denial. Great, she'd unwittingly unleashed paranoid Lucifer again. This was going to be a fun few months.

“God,” Natalie said, enjoying the look of surprise on Lucifer's face. It was a rare treat. He let her go. She rubbed her arms and glared at him.

“It's funny. You were gentler with me when you were Satan,” Natalie said. He looked stunned like she had just slapped him across the face. Mike snapped out of his depression at that remark.

“Wait, he was Satan, and you two hang out now? What exactly did you get up to this Summer?” Mike asked.  

“I wasn't going to get into this today, but uh-” Natalie started to say before Lucifer cut her off.

“Why do you mention him all the time? He couldn't have been that great.” Suddenly guilty, Natalie calculated how many times she'd actually mentioned him in her head, maybe four times at most. Why did he care anyway? Wait. Was he sulking? It clicked.

“Are you jealous of yourself? That's weird, man,” Natalie said, grinning from ear to ear.

“No, I don't care about any of you filthy humans. Why would you even-” Lucifer said, getting flustered, how cute. He wanted her to like him better.

“Your angel's super mean,” Michael interjected.

“Yeah, he's a work in progress,” Natalie admitted.

“Don't talk about me like I'm not here,” Lucifer said, getting frustrated.

“Stop throwing a temper tantrum, and we can go back to talking like adults,” Natalie said with a smirk, well aware that was just going to piss him off more.  

“I'm not- You get that the devil is bad right?” Lucifer asked. Natalie frowned. He did get that he was technically talking about himself, right?

“No, he wasn't. If I'm honest, Satan was a better guardian angel than you,” Natalie said without thinking.

Shit. She didn't want him to feel bad. Lucifer looked away, crossing his arms.

“Then, you're an idiot,” Lucifer muttered.

“Hey Nat, I'll catch up with you later. It sounds like you two have issues you need to work through,” Mike said, extremely uncomfortable and confused.  

“Okay Mike, I'll text you a run down of the situation later,” Natalie promised. She owed him that much. There was a long silence as she watched her friend walk ahead of them.

“I can't believe you actually prefer me as Satan. Do you really hate me that much?” Lucifer said, sounding defeated. Natalie wracked her brain, thinking about the best way to articulate her feelings. She needed to do damage control and quickly.

“I don't hate you, but I guess I didn't consider how being on Earth affected you the first time. Without that experience, you're so awkward around people, you seem to lack any kind of empathy, and you're needlessly cruel for no reason,” Natalie said, helplessly spilling her guts even as she could see how she was making the situation worse.

“You know what, forget I said anything. I don't know why Father even talked to you,” Lucifer said, shutting her out. She winced. Good job, Natalie, you just insulted your favorite angel.

“I accidentally summoned him using a blessed feather,” Natalie said conversationally.

“Of course, you would,” Lucifer said, a faint smile on his lips. Maybe, there was hope after all.

“Stop sulking and let's go home. I have a surprise for you,” Natalie said. He shot her an annoyed look that said, I'm not sulking, idiot.      

“Fine, ” he said, begrudgingly following her. As they walked, Lucifer took hold of her hand, strategically interlocking their fingers together as if he was afraid she'd escape. Natalie looked up at him questioningly, but he refused to look at her. Unwilling to ruin the moment, Natalie said nothing.

“Did he ever hold your hand?” Lucifer asked finally.      

“Nah, he wasn't the hand holding type, but you, seriously, don't have to-” Lucifer increased his grip on her hand. She couldn't help but find it cute.

“Never mind,” Natalie said, surprised at the flush on her cheeks. Distracted, she nearly passed her house on the way home when Lucifer stopped and tapped her on the shoulder. They were here.    

“Sorry,” she said. He grunted in response.

Fishing for her keys with her free hand, she was surprised when Lucifer opened the door for her. Even as they entered, he didn't let her go. Should she say something? Instead, she sat down on the couch like a coward, and he joined her, hands still interlocked. Natalie turned on the TV in an effort to avoid a second awkward conversation with Lucifer. He was already acting strange.

“Didn't you say you had a surprise for me?” Lucifer asked as he watched the game show without really paying attention. Oh right, the brownies, she grabbed her backpack and looked down at their interlocked hands.

“You can let go now,” Natalie said. Lucifer complied and released her hand, wiping the sweat on the palm of his hands onto his pants repeatedly as if he'd been infected with cooties. Natalie stifled a laugh.

“Why did you keep holding my hand if you didn't like it?” she asked, already knowing why. Natalie just wanted to see if he'd admit it. He looked embarrassed.

“Do you feel better now?” he asked. Natalie beamed at him, pleased. She'd been wrong.

“Yeah, I do, you big old marshmallow,” she said, giving him a hug. Natalie stiffened when he actually hugged her back but relaxed soon after. This was nice. She wanted to do something nice back.

Natalie let him go, and he immediately released her. Digging through the backpack, she found her prize. She held up the large bag of brownies triumphantly. He didn't look too impressed.

“What is that?” he asked.

“You'll love these. I know you have a sweet tooth,” Natalie said, shoving the giant bag of brownies into his hands.

He looked at the large plastic bag suspiciously. Natalie opened it for him. He took a brownie out of the bag and sniffed it, before biting into the chocolaty goodness. Judging by the delighted grin on his face, he was practically in Heaven. This Lucifer was not good at pacing himself. He finished the entire bag in fifteen minutes.

“I want more,” Lucifer said. A thank you would have been nice but at least, he enjoyed his present.

“That's all I got,” Natalie said with a shrug.  He shoved over a hundred dollars into her hands. How did he even get this?

“Buy me more,” Lucifer demanded.

“Where did you get the money?” she asked, more than a little concerned. If angel Lucifer ended up going to jail when Satan never did, she'd failed as a contractee.

“I walk dogs when you're not home,” Lucifer said. Now, she just had even more questions.

“Oh . . . You've been giving them back right?” she asked. This was the most important one.

“Yes, I gave them back. Now, buy me more brownies,” Lucifer said.

“I don't know if it's such a good idea to pump you full of sugar,” Natalie said, thinking back to her Lucifer and if he'd ever overindulged, maybe a little when he first arrived, but she'd learned the hard way that it was impossible to hide sweets from Satan. She'd certainly never bought him a hundred dollars worth of candy.

“You forced me out of Heaven,” Lucifer reminded her. Damn it, she'd take the risk if this made him happy for a while. Were all angels this good at guilt tripping people?

“Okay, we can get some snacks. You're an angel so I don't see the harm in it,” Natalie said. Lucifer gave her a hug, but it was the disingenuous Felix kind designed to shut her up. She didn't appreciate it.

Since he’d burned through his last fix so quickly, she’d decided to take him to the grocery store instead of the expensive candy shop. As they brought home sixteen bags of candy, she realized this might have been a mistake. So many sweets, she marveled. Angels couldn't get diabetes, right?

“Don't eat it all at once,” Natalie said, halfheartedly, knowing her efforts were probably in vain.

“You can't tell me what to do,” Lucifer said, opening the largest bag of candy defiantly.

“I literally can. We have a contract,” Natalie said, rolling her eyes.

“Why would you ruin this for me?” Lucifer asked, popping a piece of candy into his mouth.

“I'm not. I just don't know what it'll do to you, if anything,” Natalie said.  

“You worry too much about a nearly indestructible being,” Lucifer said teasingly.

Natalie said nothing. The end of days were coming soon, and she'd seen first hand how you didn't have to kill someone to crush them completely. She glanced at the clock. Her father would be coming home soon, and she didn't feel like explaining why there was a grown man on their couch surrounded by piles of candy.

“Take the candy upstairs and change back to Lucian, my father's coming home soon,” Natalie said. Lucifer did as he was told without complaint, slowly working through his collection of sour candy. When he didn't return, she sighed and turned her attention back to the TV.

For a while, she watched a game show where the contestants had to convince you that a true if outlandish story was about them. It had been one of Satan's favorites. He liked to ruin it for her by pointing out the liars. She texted Mike, spending an embarrassing amount of time figuring out what she should and shouldn't mention. Angel poisoning? Nope. Jumped off a bridge? No one else knew, keep it to yourself. Why I'm here? She kept it vague and explained that after Satan made a huge sacrifice for her, God had seen fit to give him a second chance, a literal Deux Ex Machina.  

They texted back and forth for awhile as Mike had several follow up questions. Soon, her father arrived, and she told Mike she had to go. He asked her if she'd been crying. She lied and told him a certain scene in a movie they showed at school had made her emotional because it reminded her of her mother's death. He didn't say anything else, awkwardly heading to the kitchen. For once, she felt guilty for lying, but Natalie didn't think he'd notice, or she would have cleaned herself up a bit. She excused herself and headed upstairs to get started on her homework.

Natalie was surprised to find Lucifer sitting on the bean bag chair in her room, waiting for her, still eating his damn candy. Familiar yet upsetting, she felt herself tear up, and she cursed her tiny tear ducts for being unable to hold back the water works. Wiping the tears away, she took her homework out of her backpack and started to scribble away furiously to distract herself. Lucifer didn't speak for quite sometime as she slowly but surely finished her assignments until he noticed her get stuck on math.  He walked over and looked over her shoulder.

“You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” he asked. She didn't say anything, scanning the book for a solution. Natalie was used to Satan's taunts when he was particularly bored.

“I can help if you like,” Lucifer said. That was new. She looked at him suspiciously.

“You know calculus?” she asked. He nodded and started pointing out some of the errors she'd made early on when trying to solve the problem.

“Father used quite a lot of math when creating the world. Why do you think there are so many naturally occurring spirals in nature? ” Lucifer explained. After going over one or two of the problems, step by step, Natalie was able to solve the rest on her own. When she finished, he put the candy down and sat down next to her.  

“We need to talk,” Lucifer said. Nothing good ever followed those words.

“About what?” Natalie asked, purposely keeping her tone light and airy.

“I've figured out a few things on my own, but I need to know exactly what happened with you and Satan,” Lucifer said, confirming what she already feared. He knew about the wings, and if she let her guard down, he might figure out why the sight of them hurt her the way they did.  

“No, I order you to drop the subject and not ask me about it again,” Natalie said without hesitation. The truth would only scar him. She'd save him from himself.

“Natalie, please let me help you. You're still in so much pain,” Lucifer said. She wanted to believe him. He sounded so sincere, but this wasn't her Lucifer, and Natalie did not trust him enough to let him go.    

“This isn't about helping me. You want to leave me alone again, because you'd rather die than let anyone get close. We'll guess what buddy I wore down Satan, and I'll wear you down too,” Natalie said, knowing she sounded totally irrational and paranoid.

“Yes because giving me Stockholm syndrome is totally the best way for us to be friends again,” Lucifer said in his usual deadpan.

“I didn't kidnap you. I'm trying to protect you from yourself, just trust me okay,” Natalie said, triggering several memories of Satan trying in vain to convince her scared and miserable self that they used to be friends. Natalie put her heads in her hands as the truth sunk in. Maybe, she was the devil.  

“ Oh my God, I sound just like him,” Natalie said, letting out a bitter laugh.

“Are you ready to tell me what actually happened now?” Lucifer asked. Natalie thought about it but ultimately came to the same conclusion, no.

“I'd rather not,” Natalie said. Lucifer let out a heavy sigh and reluctantly hugged her. The paranoia hadn't quite left her, because she still felt deep down in her gut it was a trick.

“I'm here when you're ready,” Lucifer said, taking his bag of candies and returning to the bean bag chair. It was a surprisingly mature response, especially compared to her own. She supposed she could tell him some things.

“Can we start off small?” she asked, fiddling with her hair.

“Sure,” Lucifer said.

“I fell off the roof once,” Natalie said.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Lucifer asked. She braced herself for his reaction.

“You pushed me,” Natalie said. He looked at her in disbelief, as if she'd told a particularly unfunny joke.

“And, he was a better guardian angel how?” Lucifer asked. The resentment in his voice was not lost on her, but he was totally getting the wrong idea.

“Don't look at me like that. It was an accident, and he was the one that took me to the hospital afterwards,” Natalie said defensively.

“Natalie when someone pushes you off the roof it's not an accident,” Lucifer said, again talking to her as if she were a small child.  

“Trust me, I saw the look on his face when I fell. It was an accident. He would never hurt me on purpose,” Natalie said. Lucifer still didn't believe her.

“Look, it's sweet that you believe there's good in everyone, but some people don't deserve your kindness,” Lucifer said, frustration laced in every word.  

“I know, but that's a story for another time,” Natalie said, hand on her stomach, a far away look in her eyes.

“What happened?” Lucifer asked, tensing up as he read between the lines. She ignored him. They had a lot to get through today.  

“Anyway, the important thing about the accident was that it got Michael's attention. He was super concerned, like you, and, the incident started his constant nagging to break the contract so he could save my immortal soul,” Natalie said, rolling her eyes. Lucifer frowned, radiating waves of disapproval.

“I'm not going to like this story am I?” he asked. Natalie laughed, growing up in Heaven had made him super judgmental. She wasn't sure she liked it, to be honest.

“No, probably not, but maybe, you'll at least start to understand where I'm coming from,” Natalie said. That was her goal anyway. It really wouldn't do for him to keep being jealous of himself.

“I really don't so far,” Lucifer said, shaking his head in amazement. For how could a beauty ever love a beast? She thought to herself, unable to hide her silly grin.  

“Give me time,” Natalie said.

“Is this before or after he abandoned you?” Lucifer asked. She knew what he was getting at. Natalie couldn't help but frown as the memories resurfaced unbidden.

“Before,” Natalie said offhandedly.

“Why did he abandon you?” Lucifer asked. Hmm, she'd accidentally let it slip earlier, and Natalie didn't feel like repeating herself.  

“I already told you why,” Natalie said, deciding to be difficult. Lucifer furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, thinking back to their earlier conversation. Lucifer smirked, oddly smug.  

“So, he ran off to get away from you. How were you friends again?” Lucifer asked.  

“Shush, I'm not done,” Natalie said, putting a finger to her lips for emphasis.

“Fine. What happened next?” Lucifer said, popping another sour candy into his mouth.

“He was planning to ditch me. I was mad and ordered him to stay, but he didn't listen,” Natalie said, silently fuming just thinking about it. She hated when he pushed her away and reliving this portion of their relationship wasn't helping matters.

“Wait, the Fallen don't have to listen to commands when in a contract? Lucky,” Lucifer said wistfully. He was oddly cheerful at the thought of her stranded in the middle of Oregon.

“Trust me, the whole ordeal wasn't a picnic. They're consequences for disobeying,” Natalie said, hugging her arms as one particular batch of Hell's souls flashed through her mind.  

“At least, he had the option,” Lucifer muttered. It dawned on her finally what he was implying.

“Wait, you don't have a choice?” Natalie asked. Lucifer raised an eyebrow and looked at her dubiously.

“Do I really have to explain contracts to you? You've had three at this point,” Lucifer said. Natalie blushed as she realized how that sounded. She consoled herself with the fact that two of those contracts had been with him.

“Yeah but there's always been a little leeway,” Natalie said. Is that why he'd been so moody?

“What can I say? Heaven's all about rules.” Lucifer said with a shrug.

“Oh, now, I feel bad for telling you an exact time to get home. You know what, I take it back. You can come back whenever you want, ” Natalie said, hoping that would at least start to make up for her thoughtlessness.

“Thanks but that isn't really the command I'm most concerned about right now,” Lucifer said, waiting expectantly. This Lucifer didn't know her at all.

“No apocalypse for you,” Natalie said. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You're really stubborn,” Lucifer said, walking over and landing on her bed dramatically.

“You like that about me,” Natalie said, still smiling as she stroked his hair. He looked away and didn't correct her so she assumed this was still true.  

“So, what were the stupid consequences?” Lucifer asked.

“Hell literally broke lose,” Natalie said. He gaped at her as the seriousness of the situation sunk in.

“And, he still left knowing what would happen?” Lucifer asked. She hit him playfully on the shoulder. He always assumed the worst about himself. Satan's not an idiot.

“No, of course not, we'd been contracted for an unusually long time. He'd never felt the need to disobey a contractee before then. He didn't know what would happen. Most people are like give me my favor and go,” Natalie said, panting heavily after finishing her rant.

  
“Well, you are super clingy. He probably wasn't thinking straight,” Lucifer said. She wasn't used to this Lucifer teasing her and turned red.  

“Hey, it's not like I was stalking him or anything. He invited me to Oregon. Of course, this was right after the whole poisoning your brother and selling him to War thing, so him leaving didn't completely come out of nowhere,” Natalie said, seeing the situation more clearly now that she wasn't in the thick of it. No wonder her weird factoids hadn't done her any favors.

“I'm starting to feel sorry for the devil, and I blame you,” Lucifer said with a pout.

“Enough with your pity party, we both started hearing the many voices of Hell. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that I needed to find him if I was ever going to feel normal again,” Natalie said. He didn't say anything, but she felt his hand link up with hers, a silent I'm sorry. She blinked rapidly to stop the tears.    

“How did you manage to find him at all? I doubt Satan made it easy for you, ” Lucifer asked. Natalie was glad for the distraction.

“Found him once with Jophiel's help, but I lost him again,” Natalie said, deciding to leave out her encounter with the thugs at the pier. She had a feeling he was going to be overprotective enough by the end of her story without mentioning that fiasco.

“Lost isn't the word you're looking for, kid. He ditched you again, didn't he?” Lucifer asked. So far, Lucifer only seemed to hate his past self more than he already did.  

“ I summoned Gabriel, and he refused to help until I accidentally let Hell posses me for a little bit,” Natalie said, attempting to downplay the situation.

“What?” Lucifer said, sitting up abruptly. It didn't work.    

“Just for a little bit, I was freaking out, and you offered to hug me, but it wasn't you, and I was almost sucked into Hell,” Natalie said, letting the words rush out of her in one breath, more than a little anxious. She hadn't even told Satan this part.  

“You actually thought Satan wanted to hug you. You're more gullible than I thought, ” Lucifer said, ruffling her hair, in a you're such a kid way. She didn't appreciate it.  

“Hey, I trusted you. You're my best friend,” Natalie said. Never mind the fact that the last time she had asked for a hug Anthea had literally just died, and he'd still said no. This Lucifer didn't need to know that. She'd earned that hug, dammit.

“And yet, you couldn't tell that it wasn't Satan when he was super friendly and offered to hug you,” Lucifer said, understandably skeptical. She wasn't in the mood for an interrogation.

“Seriously, what part of Hell is super creepy and manipulative don't you understand,” Natalie snapped. He finally seemed to get it.

“Never mind, continue” Lucifer said, squeezing her hand. Strange how the tiniest show of support from him made her heart flutter and her brain scramble for the reason she was angry in the first place. Get it together, Natalie.

“ And um . . . Gabriel helped me break free of Hell's influence and offered to help since he realized Satan was losing control again,” Natalie explained.

“Sure, he would do that even if it cost him everything,” Lucifer said. Natalie froze as the implication hit her. She shook her head, no, even Michael wasn't that heartless.

“What are you talking about? He saved my life. Surely, they wouldn't punish him for that,” Natalie said, freaking out as she realized that she hadn't seen Gabe in a while in her world. She had been busy dying though.

“Anyone who helped Satan would be considered a traitor, regardless of the circumstances,” Lucifer said with a shrug.

“But I literally dragged him into it,” Natalie muttered, placing her head in her hands to hide her shame. She heard him laugh and she bristled. This wasn't funny.

“Relax kid, you're not in that world anymore. Gabe's fine,” Lucifer said, prying her hands loose. She couldn't quite comprehend the kind smile on his face as if he'd just seen a kitten sneeze.

“Now, hurry up and tell me what happened next, you're not getting out of this,” he said, patting her head. He really did see her as a vulnerable child. Natalie took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. He wasn't going to like this next part.

“We found him, and I tried to get him to come home, but he went berserk and Hell broke lose,” Natalie said, expecting another joke about her clingy nature driving him to madness. Lucifer let go of her hand and embraced her suddenly. Crushed against him, this hug didn't seem to be for her benefit.    

“How are you not dead?” Lucifer asked. Oh that, she looked away.

“Well, Kristi and I almost died, but I jumped off a bridge to snap him out of his crazy hell form,” Natalie said, keeping her tone casual. She didn't want him to freak out on her.  

“What?” Lucifer said, increasing his grip on her delicate human body. She couldn't breathe.  

“That reminds me, you can take out your wings in front of me if I'm falling off a bridge or something,” Natalie said, gasping for air by the end of it. Lucifer relaxed his hold on her but did not let her go. Placing his chin on top of her head, he sighed.      

“You have no self preservation instincts do you girl?” Lucifer asked.

“It's not that. I would do anything for you,” Natalie said. She felt him stiffen at her words.

“Don't say that,” Lucifer said.

“But I really would,” Natalie insisted.

“Okay, this conversation is going nowhere. Let's get back to the real issue. Hell was in control and you jumped off the bridge, like an idiot,” Lucifer said.

“An idiot that loves you,” Natalie said sweetly, reaching up to stroke his hair since he was so close. He relaxed at her touch.  

“ Focus. How are you not dead?” Lucifer asked again.

“My plan worked, and you caught me but also almost boiled me alive with your fiery wings and all,” Natalie said. He tensed up again and confiscated her hand before she had a chance to calm him down.  

“That would be an issue yes, but you didn't give him much of a choice since you jumped off the bridge like a fool,” Lucifer said, mad on the devil's behalf. It was a surreal experience.  

“A fool that loves you,” Natalie said, looking up at him warmly. He groaned.

“Girl stop,” Lucifer said, holding on to her even more tightly in an embrace she would never be able to escape, at least she could breath this time.

“Anyway, moving on, Gabriel brought Raphael to heal me. Definitely, the only reason I lived considering I was just boiled alive,” Natalie said, actively provoking him now to see what he would do.

“I'm regretting leaving you unsupervised for long periods of time,” Lucifer said. She instantly regretted her words.  

“You're not going to start stalking me at school, are you?” Natalie asked. Lucifer considered this for a moment before shaking his head, too impractical.

“Don't give me a reason to and I won't, ” Lucifer said. Good, it shouldn't be a problem then. Natalie refused to get caught up in apocalypse business this time around. They were staying out of it.  

“Let's see what else. Oh, you were super tired and super guilty but otherwise fine and I guess that's it.” Natalie said brightly.

“What was the point of this story again?” Lucifer said, letting her go so he could retrieve his bag of candy sitting on the corner of the bed.

“That's how you learned to trust me, yay,” Natalie said, clapping her hands together.

“If anything, I trust you less after hearing that story,” Lucifer said, popping another sour candy in his mouth. She made a mental note that he didn't go through hard candies as quickly.  

“That's enough sharing for today. Now, give me a candy,” Natalie demanded, making grabby hands at him. He made a disgusted face.

“No, I earned these,” Lucifer said, lifting his candy bag high in the air to keep her from stealing a piece. She pouted, before a thought occurred to her.

“You boiled me alive in a past life,” Natalie reminded him. She watched as he caved immediately and gave her easy access to the bag of candy. She opted to try the cherry flavored one.  

“Yay, candy,” Natalie said, wrapping her arms around him after popping a piece into her mouth. He melted against her like chocolate. She made another mental note. No longer cringes at the slightest bit of human contact, check.

 


	5. Not Your Choice

###  **Not Your Choice**

 

“Hey Lucifer, you can go back to your room. I'm just going to be unconscious for like eight hours, so . . .” Natalie said, trailing off, hoping he'd get the hint. Satan creepily staring at her at night had not been one of the things she missed about her world. Thankfully, this Lucifer's eyes did not seem to emit an eerie glow like a jungle cat.

“Is the person who stabbed you in the stomach still around in this world?” Lucifer asked.

“How did you know someone sliced through me like I was a Shish kebab?” Natalie asked. Was she really that easy to read?

“I didn't,” Lucifer said. Eyes flashing dangerously as he registered the threat. Natalie turned around, embarrassed. Apparently, she was just super gullible. Why not just give him Jericho's home address while she was at it?

“Chill out dude, I don't need a bodyguard. You're not Satan anymore. The big guy has no reason to target you or me as long as we stay out the apocalypse. He's Zadkiel's problem now,” Natalie said, wishing he'd forget the whole thing.

“Stop playing the pronoun game and give me a name to go on,” Lucifer said as if she needed avenging. Natalie rolled her eyes. Titus wasn't all bad. She couldn't save him, but she wasn't about to hasten his demise either.

“I order you to drop the subject. It's not important,” Natalie said. She could practically hear his jaw clench.

“Fine, but I'm not leaving,” Lucifer said. Part of her considered forcing him to leave to prove a point, but she wasn't feeling particularly petty tonight. Besides, he wanted to keep her safe. It was a sweet gesture.

“Goodnight Lucifer, I love you,” Natalie said, perfectly aware of what she was doing. That shut him up for the rest of the night, and she was able to get some sleep before returning to the land of calculus and scholarship applications in the morning.

“Why do you even want to go to this place? If he brought you here, it can't be good,” Lucifer asked. Understandably grumpy after last night, Lucifer wasn't exactly thrilled to be accompanying her to some mysterious unknown location. Even so, he'd never let her go alone, and sure enough, after some initial protests, she had his company, if not his support.

“I've been thinking about Mike's situation, and I feel bad that I really didn't do anything to help him when I had the chance. There's something here that will,” Natalie said, careful not to give too much away. He might try to stop her.

“Frankly, there's not much you can do kid, unless-” Lucifer said, eyes widening as he figured out her plan. She ducked into the shop before he had a chance change her mind.

“Yo, shopkeep, I want to buy this,” Natalie said, pointing to the blessed feather. It was on a higher shelf than before, just out of reach, but she didn't give it much thought. Mostly, she was grateful it still existed. The shopkeeper looked up from his post, disdain evident on his face.

“Oh, it's you again. I'm afraid I can't do that this time,” the shop keeper said, turning the page to some ancient text she didn't recognize.

“Why?” Natalie complained. He'd never had a problem selling her artifacts she had no business purchasing before. Lucifer barged through the door and grabbed her by the shoulder, ready to drag her out of there.

“Aadinath, Don't sell her anything,” Lucifer ordered. The usually disinterested and disgruntled shopkeep smirked. He seemed to be on friendly terms with this Lucifer despite being Fallen.

“I wasn't planning on it. I have orders from God to specifically bar her from purchasing that particular item,” Aadinath said.

“Again, why? Does he hate me that much? Sure, I forgot about the tattoos, but a lot of crazy stuff happened and-” Natalie said about to start on a fairly long tangent when Aadinath cut her off.

“He specifically said no takesies-backsies,” Aadinath said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, I don't want to talk to him about that. I want to speak to him about something else. Please sell it to me. I won't ask you for anything else ever again,” Natalie promised, pressing her hands together in a mock prayer. Aadinath scoffed.

“We both know that's not true, and I'm not going to risk my shop getting burned to a crisp by Uriel because the prophecy girl wants yet another audience with God,” Aadinath said, sounding even more annoyed with her than usual. Well, she tried being nice, time to play dirty. Immediately, she turned around and latched onto Lucifer's arm, pouting.

“Lucifer make him sell me that feather,” she said. Initially flustered, he recovered quickly.

“And, why would I do that? Father clearly doesn't want to see you,” Lucifer said.

“Satan would have bought me the Feather,” Natalie complained bitterly. He hadn't gone out of his way to get her the stupid feather. It had been an afterthought, but she hadn't had to justify why she wanted the thing. He had bought it for her to make her happy. This Lucifer knew why she needed it so desperately, and he was refusing her because it might upset God, what a coward.

“Then, it's too bad we're stuck with each other since you looove Satan so much. I bet you wish you could get rid of me,” Lucifer spat, even more bitter about the whole situation than she was.

“If I ever get the chance again, maybe, I will,” she said, regretting the words as soon as she said them. They were both silent for a moment, unsure how to proceed. Both hurt for entirely different reasons.

“Could you take your domestic dispute outside before you break something, please,”  Aadinath said. Just like that, the spell was broken.

“Come on, Natalie. We're done here,” Lucifer said, dragging her outside. She didn't resist.

“Listen Lucifer, I-” Natalie started to apologize but was instantly rebuffed.

“Don't bother. I don't want to hear your lies,” Lucifer said. She said nothing after that. He wouldn't believe her anyway.

Once they returned to the house, he changed into his tiny Stan form without a word and marched upstairs, shutting himself away in his room. Natalie considered her options. She could let the whole thing blow over and possibly earn his forgiveness later through expensive sweets, but then, she'd be letting Mike down. No, there had to be a way to get that feather. Think Natalie, think. Let's see. Aadinath wouldn't sell to her without some kind of convincing. She'd ruined any chance of Lucifer willingly helping her with this. A sinking feeling hit her as she was left with one option, Zadkiel.    

Aware that a sulking Lucifer wouldn't be keeping close tabs on her, Natalie decided she might as well seek out this particular Satan now. Having a vague idea of the places her Satan liked to frequent, she asked around. No one had any idea what she was talking about. Tired and out of leads, she stopped by a coffee shop for a drink on her way home, only to find the person in question waiting for her. Natalie sat down next to said angel and was promptly handed a drink.

“What's the matter, sweetheart? Trouble in paradise?” Zadkiel asked. Interlaced fingers propping up his chin as he watched her with interest. Eyes glowing mischievously.

“Why would you think that?” Natalie asked, far more nervous than she normally would be. He'd seen right through her. Never had she felt more aware that she was making a deal with the devil.  

“You wouldn't be looking for me if things were going well,” Zadkiel stated simply.

“I need a favor,” Natalie said, cutting to the chase. He laughed and took a sip of his drink.

“Oh, am I suddenly worthy of your presence? Or will you toss me aside as soon as you get this favor?” Zadkiel asked, tone surprisingly acidic. She supposed that they technically hadn't parted on the best of terms.

“What do you want?” Natalie asked, already defeated. She didn't exactly have any leverage against Zadkiel. If she wanted to help Mike, it was going to cost her.

“I want you,” Zadkiel said simply. Her heart jumped. She knew what that meant in demon speak.

“What? You can't have my soul. I've been to Hell, didn't like it,” Natalie said, laughing the suggestion off. Zadkiel chuckled, eyes glowing again, betraying some hint of joy at the thought.

“No, I have no use for your soul. Your voice would be a pleasant distraction for a few months at most before they corrupted you too,” Zadkiel said, dismissing the suggestion immediately.

“Then, you'll need to be more specific,” Natalie said. It couldn't be the other thing that phrase implied.

“I want you to be my friend,” Zadkiel said, sounding embarrassed. Oh, she wasn't expecting that. She raised an eyebrow. Could it be that this Satan was less antisocial than hers?

“Really?” Natalie asked in disbelief.

“It'd be nice to have someone care about me without immediately thinking the worst of me. Could you do that for me or have already made too much of a bad impression?” Zadkiel asked.

Even with her incomplete distrustful soul, she didn't find herself hating the idea. He'd threatened her before, but she had two angels that would smite him if he so much as looked at her wrong. Could Zack really be any worse than her Lucifer? Lucifer . . . She wouldn't risk Lucifer's soul even if it cost her the chance to help her childhood friend escape his wretched fate.

“I could, but you have to promise to leave Lucifer alone,” Natalie said, stating her terms. Zadkiel eyes widened in surprise as if it hadn't even crossed his mind before this moment.  

“Are you still on that? Sure, whatever, he doesn't have to be involved. Do we have a deal?” Zadkiel asked, holding out his hand. It wasn't an official contract but she still found herself hesitating.

“I don't know,” Natalie said. What if this turned into another Jericho situation?

“Come on girl, I'd be good for you. I'd be surprisingly good for you,” Zadkiel sang as charmingly as intended. Her eyes lit up as she pieced together Zadkiel's intentions.

“Oh my God, I think I finally get it,” Natalie squealed excitedly.

“Get what?” Zadkiel asked, confused.

“You're a musical nerd. Is that why you're always bothering, Lucifer? Do you just want him to notice you?” Natalie asked, practically gushing.

“You're getting the wrong idea. We have a lot in common. He just refuses to admit it,” Zadkiel said, suddenly souring. He seemed mad. There was always one thing that the Fallen unanimously disliked, even if they treated her nice enough in Lucifer's presence.

“Oh, so, this is about the whole hating humans thing, bummer,” Natalie said with a sigh. She understood their dislike in principle. They were icky and gross, compared to the magically self-cleaning angels and more than capable of screwing themselves over without any supernatural help. She just didn't like being reminded of it.

“I don't hate humans. Heaven just takes itself too seriously. Way too many arbitrary rules, it's stifling. I guarantee you he was miserable up there,” Zadkiel said. Natalie instantly recognized where she'd heard that before. Time to let him know that he'd been grossly misinformed.

“Nah, he seems pretty desperate to get back,” Natalie said offhandley. Her smile faltered slightly. It be nice if he'd enjoyed their time together a little more, but she hadn't exactly made that easy for him lately.

“He doesn't know any better. I bet we could change his mind together if you let me,” Zadkiel suggested, seeing an opening. The walls went right back up.

“ Maybe later, trust takes time build Zadkiel,” Natalie said, scolding him lightly. This was the exact opposite of what she'd asked of him. He was testing her resolve, and she refused to budge.

“So, you're instant best friends with Lucifer, but I have to earn your trust like I'm some common criminal. I've been nothing but nice to you. It's a little hypocritical if you ask me,” Zadkiel complained.

“You did put a knife against my throat, even my Satan knew hurting me was a stupid idea,” Natalie said, not in the mood to put up with Zadkiel's guilt trip, even as she realized he had a point. Ever since she left Hell, she was finding it harder to wear her heart on her sleeve.

“Fair enough,” Zadkiel said, letting it go. There was a long uncomfortable silence as they finished their drinks.

“About that favor,” Natalie said, bringing up it again timidly. The silence was getting to her.

“Anything you need, no problem,” Zadkiel assured her.

“Have you heard about this little shop that sells magical items? I need something from there,” Natalie asked.

“Of course, everyone knows that place. And, let me guess, he's refusing to sell whatever MacGuffin you need,” Zadkiel said.

“Yup,” Natalie said.

“That's always frustrating, but I'm surprised you ran into trouble if you brought Lucifer with you,” Zadkiel said, eyeing her smugly as he read between the lines. No use hiding anything from him.

“He didn't want to upset God so he didn't help me out,” Natalie admitted.

“Typical but don't worry, I've more than burned that bridge. What were you looking to get?” Zadkiel asked. It was then she realized that asking the Devil to help her summon God wasn't the best idea she'd ever had. Too late to back out now.

“A blessed feather,” Natalie said sheepishly. This was awkward.

“You're kidding,” Zadkiel said, a large grin on his face.

“Nope,” Natalie said.

“No wonder you scared Lucifer off,” Zadkiel said teasingly. Her cheeks burned red.  

“Did you change your mind?” Natalie asked, unsure how big a deal this was for Zadkiel.

“No, just do me a favor and don't summon him until I'm out of the general vicinity. I've nothing to say to the old man,” he said. Fair enough, she knew better than to touch the feather directly herself now anyway.

“Okay, thanks Zadkiel,” she said.

“No problem, bestie,” he said with a wink.

“Actually, Lucifer is-” Natalie started to say when Zadkiel cut her off.

“Do you want the feather or not?” he snapped, super serious about being her best friend.

“Sure thing, person who is totally my new best friend,” Natalie said, forcing the words out in order to appease Zack. It felt wrong somehow.

“That's better,” Zadkiel said, fixing her hair before taking out his phone.

“What are you-” Natalie said before she felt his arms wrap around her shoulders and heard the tiny click and sudden flash. She was now friends with a devil who liked to take Selfies, great.

Because he insisted on buying her another drink and a muffin, she ended up losing track of time chatting with him, and they didn't reach the out of the way shop until closing time. Aadinath wasn't going to be happy. Natalie barged in anyway just as the shopkeeper was taking out his key to lock up.

“Go away, I already-” the shopkeeper said before stopping abruptly when Zack walked in. His near permanent scowl seemed to grow in severity.

“What do you want?” he asked, running his fingers through his silver hair.  

“Give her the feather,” Zadkiel said simply. The shopkeeper rolled his eyes.

“No,” he said flatly.

“It wasn't a request,” Zadkiel said, not so subtly leaning forward and placing his big muscly arms on the counter.

“If you think your wrath is anything compared to Heaven's wrath, you're dreaming. You're a glorified cage,” Aadinath said. Natalie winced as Zadkiel lifted the shopkeeper off the counter and slammed him against the wall. This might have been a mistake.

“I'd focus on the immediate threat if I were you,” Zadkiel said icily, producing a knife from somewhere on his person. The shopkeeper didn't even flinch.

Before things could escalate further, the door to the shop opened. Natalie turned around to dissuade the unsuspecting customer from getting caught in the crossfire, “Hey, you might want to come back later.” She froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hi Lucifer, fancy seeing you here, I was-” Natalie said, desperately trying to think of a good excuse. What were the odds he'd come back to the shop?  Lucifer wasn't in the mood to indulge her.

“Cut the crap, Natalie. You went behind my back and literally made a deal with the devil. You're dead to me,” Lucifer said, walking past her. She deserved that.

“As for you, put him down or it'll be you who gets hacked to pieces,” Lucifer said, summoning a particularly fancy golden sword. Zadkiel dropped Aadinath and smirked.

“After what you did, I'm surprised you have the nerve to show yourself in a place like this. Finally willing to face me? I must admit I've been looking forward to the moment you finally got off your high horse and faced your demons,” Zadkiel said, taking out a second blade in anticipation. Lucifer ignored him and retrieved the blessed feather from the shelf high above her head.

“I'd like to purchase this,” he said finally.

“Not you too,” Aadinath complained, pressing a rag against his head to stop the bleeding. Natalie looked away guiltily. She wouldn't stop by again after this.

“No, I need to speak to Father immediately. He's the only who can break my contract with Natalie without her consent. This isn't worth my time anymore,” Lucifer said. The consequences of her actions hit her like a ton of bricks. She was making all new mistakes this go round.

“Lucifer please,” Natalie begged, tears in her eyes. Please don't leave me. She was met with silence. He refused to look at her, even as she clung to him like a second skin. Pushing her off, he slammed the money on the counter.  

“Very well,” Aadinath said, opening up the register and accepting Lucifer's payment.

Reading the atmosphere, Zadkiel put away his weapons and returned to Natalie's side. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he leaned down and whispered, “This is your chance to ask Father a favor. Don't blow it because Lucifer's throwing a fit.” She nodded, not bothering to wipe away her tears, more would be falling in a minute.

As Lucifer carefully opened the case, she snatched the blessed feather and pressed it against his palm. “Natalie don't-” Lucifer began to say, before inevitably getting possessed by God. In a flash, his eyes became a ghostly white, and there was an unnatural smile on his face.

“Ah, Natalie, I thought you might seek me out. What's on your mind?” God asked, perfectly agreeable as always. Maybe, this would be easy, and the shopkeeper had been exaggerating when he claimed God didn't want to see her.

“I wanted to ask if you'd reconsider using my friend as Michael's vessel when he defeats Zadkiel. He doesn't want to be human anyway,” Natalie said. The smile on his face faded into a barely visible frown.

“I feared you would bring that up,” God said, rubbing the back of his neck as if thinking of the best way to let her down gently when Zadkiel interrupted them.

“Who says I'm going to lose?” At this, the smile returned to his borrowed face, not caring in the slightest what Zadkiel was implying. He was still his child.

“Hello, my daughter, I'm surprised you stuck around to see me,” God said.

“Actually, I think he might prefer if you- Oh, never mind,” Natalie said as she finally noticed Zadkiel had changed forms. Since she didn't know the angel all that well, she tried not to read too much into the gesture. She did wonder if some of her tears weren't completely due to God's presence as they seemed to overflow and outnumber her own.

“I'm not here to see you. I promised to help her, and I have. Sayonara, sweetheart, good luck convincing the old man he's wrong, historically hasn't gone well,” Zadkiel said, turning her back on them as she prepared to head out the door.

“Don't listen to her. You may speak freely without fear of consequences,” God said, patting her on the head like angel Lucifer liked to do. Before she could fixate on her sudden guilt, Zadkiel scoffed.

“Did you know he cursed Cain for daring to give him vegetables?” Zadkiel cut in. Natalie frowned, remembering Titus who never had a chance to experience true kindness before he met her, simply because his ancestor, Cain did not honor God in the way he wished.

“That does seem super unfair,” Natalie said, even as she realized this wasn't helping her get a favor from God.

“And, then, he let me curse Job, just to prove me wrong,” Zadkiel said, pleasantly surprised that they shared similar views on something for once.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure Lucifer takes after his father in the pride department. Probably, why he got in trouble the first time,” Natalie admitted. She thought she saw God blush.

“You don't say. Miracle it didn't happen twice,” Zadkiel said, examining her fingernails.

“Weren't you leaving?” God asked with a scowl as he ran his hand over his face, catching his lower eyelids briefly. Natalie couldn't help but laugh as God matched Lucifer’s mannerisms perfectly.

“Oh Father, I'm not going anywhere. Things just got interesting,” Zadkiel said, loving the attention.

“ Look, I understand why you're concerned based on your limited human perspective, but Angel Michael is human Michael's proper soul. They are linked and in the end are ultimately the same person, destined to reunite and become whole,” God said, gesturing with his hands to emphasize his point. Lucifer’s deep smooth voice made him sound far more condescending than he intended.

“Aren't you a believer in free will though? Doesn't making Mike a meat puppet violate that? Or are we only allowed to have free will when it's convenient for you?” Natalie asked.

“You've been around my son too long,” God muttered.

“Deflecting the question, Father? Didn't prepare an answer in advance? That's not like you,” Zadkiel said in a mocking tone. God sighed.

“I'm not explaining this well. Take Lucifer for example, in this world. . . Where is he anyway?” God asked, finally realizing that he wasn't there despite sensing his presence in the room, whoops.

“About that,” Zadkiel started to say when she caught sight of Natalie waving her arms frantically behind God to shut up. Her efforts were in vain though as he caught sight of himself in an antique mirror that probably had some kind of unspeakable curse on it.

“Wait, I've been possessing him this entire time, how embarrassing. Hold on,” God said.

“No, I'm not prepared to deal with this yet,” Natalie said, head in her hands, so much for blocking Lucifer's attempt to leave her. Why did he always try to leave her?

“Finally, you tricked me, you little-” Lucifer said, stopping in his tracks as he noticed his Father in the room. God waved, smiling pleasantly, having taken the form of Uriel, a literal pocket full of sunshine. From the look on Zadkiel's face, God had chosen this form for her benefit.

“Hello son, how are you?” God asked.

“Father, she's the devil,” Lucifer stated matter-of-factly. Natalie flinched, for once self conscious about her association with Satan. Did he really have to call her that in front of God?

“Trust me, she's not,” Zadkiel said. There wasn't as much bite to her words anymore. Her mind was somewhere else entirely as she stared at God's current form.

“I don't want to be her contractor anymore,” Lucifer said.

Well, that's it. Game over, Natalie. There's no way God was going to deny his favorite son. God's reaction was not what Natalie expected if anything he looked disappointed.

“Son, as an angel, what must you always do?” God asked.

“Keep my promises,” Lucifer said dejectedly as if they'd had this conversation a million times before, maybe they had.

“You chose to enter this contract, correct?” God asked.

“Yes, but-” Lucifer said, about to make an excuse when his Father interrupted him.

“Has she done anything to put you in harms way?” God asked.

“No, but I can't-” Lucifer said, desperately trying to get his feelings of frustration across to no avail. Being omnipotent, God knew and did not care.

“Then, you will stay with her as long as she needs you,” God said with an air of finality. Natalie was relieved but couldn't help but feel sorry for Lucifer. Angels really were all about rules, even unfair ones.  

“Why did you take that form?” Zadkiel asked suddenly.

Caught off guard, God started to ramble, like the awkward duck he sometimes was. It was charming. “Ah well, process of elimination, seeing Michael now would be upsetting for Natalie and I doubt Lucifer would be happy with the form Natalie would prefer I take, I was being considerate.”

“Yes, showing yourself as the angel whose eyes Michael ripped out of their sockets right in front of me was very considerate of you,” Zadkiel said bitterly. God's mouth slowly formed an o shape.

“I hadn't considered that. Let's see. What form should I take then?” God asked, deep in thought.

“Robert Downey Jr,” Natalie shouted excitedly. God chuckled.

“Very well,” he said, taking the shape of beloved actor Robert Downey Jr in all his glory. He immediately gave her a smarmy smile and lifted his sunglasses.

“Will this suffice?” God asked. She clapped her hands delightedly, and he seemed to take that as a yes. Lucifer cleared his throat, catching his Father’s attention.

“What form did you think she'd want you to take?” Lucifer asked innocently. God raised an eyebrow and looked over at Natalie as if debating whether or not to say anything. 

“Let's not ruin the moment,” Natalie cut in before God had a chance to answer.

“That reminds me though. Why did you trick me? We had a deal,” Natalie asked. She'd never thought God would pull such an underhanded move or she would have been more specific about which Satan she wanted in the first place.

“I never meant to trick you, Natalie. It just so happens that granting your wish as intended would have conflicted with my son's request,” God said, failing to elaborate as he looked at Lucifer. Time seemed to slow as she put the pieces together.

“What did he ask for?” Natalie asked. She wanted to know for sure.

“Lucifer wanted to be your guardian angel,” God said. Of course he did, and she'd made him feel awful for not being the person she fell for. She really was a stupid sack of potatoes.

“Forgive me for not telling you, but your wishes were not mutually exclusive, and I was hoping, perhaps wrongly, that you might be able to heal my daughter as you have healed my son,” God said. Natalie and Zadkiel turned to look at each other, both considering the possibility of a road not taken. She looked away first, feeling shy all of a sudden when faced with Zadkiel's intense gaze, but not before, she saw a faint smile on her lips. Maybe, the opportunity to connect with her on a deeper level wasn't gone just yet.

“This isn't fair. I'm not that person anymore. Why should I live according to what her Satan wanted?” Lucifer whined. She shot him a look. Because once my life was worth more to you than your selfish pride, no one noticed the extra tears fall from her face.

“Normally, I would tell you everything happens for a reason, and you shouldn't take the life you have now for granted,” God said slowly.

“But, if we go by Natalie's theory, I should give you a choice. After all, you've had different experiences in this life and may no longer feel the same way as you did before. Correct?” God asked, looking at Natalie for confirmation.

“That's not really what I was getting at,” Natalie said tiredly. This had all backfired horribly.

“So, Lucifer, do you want to break your contract with Natalie?” God asked.

“Wow, you go through contracts like hot cakes. Don't worry I'll always be there for you,” Zadkiel piped up, considerably more chipper than before.

“I'm doomed. He's going to leave me forever, and then, I'll end up with like forty cats and twenty of them will be called Lucifer before animal control knocks on my door, and I end up on a very special episode of hoarders,” Natalie rambled on in a panic as she instantly focused on the worst case scenario. Maybe, she could ask Kristi for some of her self help books about coping with anxiety.

“Don't worry, I won't let that happen to you. I'll be your best friend from now on,” Zadkiel proclaimed loudly as she wrapped her arm around Natalie's shoulders, grinning at Lucifer.

“You can't be her best friend. I'm her best friend,” Lucifer said, separating them and holding on to her protectively. Natalie was too shocked to properly respond and just stood there dumbfounded. She'd never thought she'd see the day he actively admitted they were best friends.

“Well, you'll be too busy running Heaven so, bye,” Zadkiel said, prying her out of Lucifer's grip and right back into his arms. Natalie didn't protest, suspecting Zadkiel was trying to help her out of this mess by making Lucifer jealous. And, it was working.  

“Zadkiel stop play mind games with her. You're not serious,” Lucifer said.

“I'm super serious. She's on my phone's lock screen,” Zadkiel said, digging out her phone to show Lucifer. The screen would have cracked from Lucifer's death glare if it could.

“Why are you really doing this? Is this about the prophecy nonsense?” Lucifer asked.

“Pfft, no, I don't have an ulterior motive for once. This is a person who will love you, no matter what. I'm not going to throw that away, like you did, ” Zadkiel admitted, holding onto her more tightly. Umm, maybe, she'd misunderstood Zadkiel's intentions after all.

“That's rich. She doesn't love me,” Lucifer said with such certainty that it broke her heart all over again. Struggling out of Zadkiel's grip, she ran over to Lucifer, angry, mostly at herself.

“What are you talking about? Of course, I do. You're the one who's leaving me.” Natalie said, pointing an accusing finger on his chest.

“I'm not leaving you, stupid,” Lucifer shouted in a split second decision that surprised even himself.

“Are you serious? You're staying?” Natalie asked, taking hold of his hands, desperately hoping he meant what he said. Taking a deep breath, Lucifer considered the idea for a moment.

“Only because you'd get yourself killed if I didn't,” Lucifer said, making up an excuse. Natalie wasn't fooled for a second. She was an expert in Lucifer speak by now. Natalie embraced him, comforted when he returned the embrace without hesitation.

“I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I shouldn't have asked you to get me the feather. If you were willing to break rules, you'd probably be Satan right now, and we'd be living out a Greek tragedy all over again,” Natalie said. He practically crushed her against his body at the thought, making her gasp.  

“Well, look at that Natalie, he still said no. Did he not make the same choice in your timeline?” God asked, having seen enough.

“It's not really the same,” Natalie complained, feeling the opportunity to save Mike slip through her fingers. She wasn't going to win this one.

“I must be going now. Stay out of trouble you two or don't, your choice,” God said, taking off.

“He's just as petty as you are,” Natalie said with a sigh.

“I'm not petty. On an unrelated note, I forbid you from seeing Zadkiel ever again,” Lucifer said, leading her out of the shop by her shoulders. She thought she heard Zadkiel say, “Try and stop me” in the background. She laughed, amused as Lucifer seemed to forget he was living under a benevolent dictatorship.  

“You're forbidding me. Really dude? Why? ” Natalie asked, playing along for now.

“Friends don't let friends hang out with the devil,” Lucifer said. If he understood the irony of that statement, he didn't show it.

 


	6. Not Your Story

###  **Not Your Story**

“Did you speak with Natalie about releasing our brother when the end of days hit? I’m concerned she doesn't realize the gravity of what she is doing. ” Gabe asked, bringing him the drink he asked for. He sipped it slowly, letting the citrus taste linger in his tongue, but the taste just didn't seem to satisfy him anymore. What in Heaven's name was wrong with him? He'd been fine a few days ago.    

“Nah, we’re all just meaningless specks in the universe, waiting to be consumed by some uncaring cosmic God. So, what’s the point? ” Michael said. Gabe didn't bother to point out that Father made Michael blackberries pies every September for Michaelmas or that he always did his best to comfort them when they took the effort to seek him out. He clearly wasn't in a good place right now.

“Have you been reading Lucifer’s philosophy books again? You know what it does to you, ” Gabe said. He wished his pain had been self inflicted. This sudden onslaught of depression had come out of nowhere.

“No, but I’ll go check on them. They must be sick of each other by now. Lucifer isn't the easiest person to get along with,” Michael said, getting up and tossing the last of his drink in the bin. Maybe, he just missed Luce.

When he arrived at the McAllister residence, he morphed into a smaller version of himself as Lucifer had suggested last time he visited. Michael had stopped by on a weekend so her father was probably home, and he'd rather not worry the poor man. He knocked and her father answered, sporting a kindly smile.

“Ah, you must be here to see, Lucian. Come on in, he's upstairs. I'm sure he'd like some company, ” Alex said, gesturing to the staircase. He nodded eagerly and ran inside before remembering his manners.

“Thanks, Mr. M,” he said shyly at the foot of the stairs.

“Think nothing of it. I'm glad Lucian's made a friend. Feel free to stop by anytime,” Alex said, returning to the kitchen shortly after.

Aware of his brother's solitary nature, Michael checked his room first and found nothing. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for what he would find in Natalie's room. He blinked. They were getting along? Not only that, Lucifer was allowing her to lean against him while they read a book together. Which was weird, his brother was impatient and had probably finished ages ago, and he also wasn't super into anyone touching him, let alone a human.

“Hey, you two, how's it going?” Michael asked, doing his best to force a smile.

Natalie shut the book and scrambled over to him, a big old genuine smile on her face that managed to melt some of the gloom from his icy heart . “Not bad, I mean Mike's been pretty down after the whole 'God designed me to be someone else's meat suit and he won't take it back' incident but otherwise . . .” she trailed off.

“Actually, now that I think about it, how are you holding up? It must be weird, feeling someone else's sadness,” Natalie said, putting her arms on his shoulders, a serious expression on her face for once.

“ Live in the moment, and don't worry about how others will affect your life. You matter and what you do is important,” she said. He felt strangely better and yet totally confused. What was she talking about? Had she spoken to Father? His brother looked annoyed.

“Give him some context, girl,” Lucifer said. Her eyes widened and she slapped her forehead, letting out an angelic laugh.

“Right, so, it turns out God's plan for you guys after the whole apocalypse thing is to make you human, but in order to do that, you need a body to possess which means my friend ends up getting totally screwed over and basically ceases to exist,” Natalie said. Her smile faltering as she finished. Michael was speechless. What?

“But I don't want to be human,” Michael said after a moment of silence.

“I told him that but-,” Natalie said when his brother suddenly interrupted her, sounding particularly irritated.

“Father took advantage of the false equivalence fallacy to make his escape by comparing my situation to yours.”  

“But I don't even know this human, and past you is still you,” Michael said. Surely, Father of all people would understand why possessing some human with his face would make him uncomfortable.

“Exactly, even if I wish that weren't the case,” Lucifer said, shooting Natalie a meaningful look before averting his eyes. Wait, did Luce like – No, he better not after he'd been such a pain in the ass about humanity existing in the first place.

“I mean, would you take me to prom?” Natalie said as if this was the most ridiculous suggestion in the world.

“What's prom?” Michael asked, completely clueless. Was it something bad?

“See, they're nothing alike,” Natalie said, not answering the question. It seemed to be a deliberate choice.

“You're wrong. They are obviously connected,” Lucifer said, making Nat pout.

“Are you taking your Father's side again? Luci no, we just made up. Don't ruin it,” Natalie said, sitting next to him and hitting him on the shoulder lightly.

“Of course not, I do find the situation morally questionable, but knowing Father, your friend wouldn't cease to exist. The two would combine into one person presumably allowing Michael to understand what it means to be human,” Lucifer said.

Oh, Michael hadn't thought of that. He watched as Natalie subtly climbed onto his brother's lap and found himself distracted. He was amazed when Lucifer didn't immediately shove her off and instead proceeded to play with her hair. Who was this person and what had they done with his brother?

“Dammit, that's a sweet gesture, but I still don't like it,” Natalie said, reaching up to stroke his brother's hair as if Michael wasn't even there. He looked away, finding the scene strangely intimate, despite its innocence. If he was human, would she ever look at him the way she looked at Lucifer?

“It's inevitable. The apocalypse is coming and even without me, Zadkiel is still at an extreme disadvantage. She's going to lose,” Lucifer said.

What? He was kidding right? Immediately, an alien panic overtook him, and he shuddered involuntarily as the room started to spin. Why was everything so pink? He staggered over to Natalie's bed, feeling for the mattress so he wouldn't fall and make a fool of himself. Eventually, he managed to sit down.

“Hold on, what do you mean without you? We need you, Luce,” Michael said. I need you. He was so not ready to be in charge. What did Metatron even do again?

“Wait, we can fix this. Michael, but I need you to hear me out,” Natalie said. Oh, thank Father, maybe, Natalie could talk him out of this.

“What is it, Gingersnap? Because my brother just told me he's not fighting in the apocalypse, and I'm freaking out, ” Michael said. Please, help me.

“What if, you don't fight Zadkiel, and you two work out your issues. Bam, no apocalypse,” Natalie said like the sweet innocent flower she was. Still, he couldn't stop his animosity for his dear sister from sharpening his features and unmasking his hidden ruthlessness. Zadkiel was a duplicitous scheming witch that couldn't be trusted to keep any truce they might come to, better to cut her down before she had a chance to strike back.

“I’m afraid that won’t work. Did you forget that he blinded Uriel? That’s not even taking into consideration that he turned a peaceful exodus into a bloodbath. You don’t get past something like that, ” Lucifer said, catching Michael by surprise. What the Hell? He was making it sound like Michael was the one that needed to be forgiven.

“Hey, I thought Uriel was defecting. I didn't realize he was trying to talk her out of it,” Michael said, defending himself. And yet, he felt the guilt return. Uriel rarely left the medical temple these days, and he never smiled anymore, no matter how cheesy the pun.

“Blinding him was an extreme reaction,” Lucifer said calmly. And yet, the accusation was still there, stabbing at his heart. You're the villain in this story.

“I couldn't let God’s light end up in the wrong hands, ”  Michael said, still attempting to justify his actions. It changed nothing. He didn't dare look at Natalie's expression as his crimes were laid out before him.  

“You couldn't take two seconds to check before you made half the family hate you? ” Lucifer said. Raphael still refused to heal him, no matter how serious the injury. He deserved that and more.  

“Why does it sound like you're blaming me when Zadkiel is the one that started the rebellion? ” Michael asked. He didn't ask for any of this. What did they think would happen? They were traitors, all of them. If one of their own got caught in the chaos and confusion that followed, so, be it.  

“Wait, you never told him what actually happened? ” Natalie asked. His brother went rigid, suddenly very aware of her body on his, breaking the spell.

“Stay out of it, girl,” Lucifer said, pushing her off of him. A thin delicate frown appeared on her pretty face as her concern bloomed into something akin to pity.

“What is she talking about? ” Michael asked. His brother's sudden coldness catching his attention.

“You don't need to know, ” he said, refusing to look him in the eye. Lucifer rarely showed signs of guilt, but Michael had definitely noticed the emotion pop up more often when Natalie was involved.    

“Wait, this has to do with the other world. Doesn't it?” Michael asked, giving it his best guess. His brother flinched, and he had his answer.

“Are you afraid of what he'll think of you? Lucifer, he's going to find out eventually. Your brother loves you. After all this time, he won't-” She wasn't given a chance to finish.

“Shut up or I'll toss you out the window,” Lucifer said. Natalie’s scrunched up face dared him to try it.

“You said you didn't want me to hate you. Were you-”  Michael said, eyes widening as everything clicked. His brother was almost Satan. Lucifer didn't let him finish the thought.  

“Zadkiel didn't start the rebellion. I did.” Lucifer admitted. Michael didn't want to believe it.

“She never said anything, ” Michael said. Why wouldn't she say anything? Zadkiel knew how much this information would hurt him so why not constantly rub the knowledge in his face?

“Because she's still hoping I’ll join her and cause some damage on my way out, ” Lucifer said.

Michael felt his icy heart freeze right back up. Zadkiel would play the long game and delay gratification. And, yet, he couldn't fathom why she had become the face of the rebellion. She had everything to lose.

“Then, why would she even-”  Michael started to say when Lucifer cut him off.

“I abandoned them. They were left without a leader with no hope of clemency. She’s the angel of mercy. Of course, she stepped in. ” There was hint of admiration in his words that spoke volumes. She's the hero of this story. His frigid heart couldn't take the rejection.

“Is that why you're opting out of the apocalypse? You feel sorry for them? Or is Zadkiel right in thinking you'll turn on us?” Michael asked.

“Stop being paranoid, dude. I asked him to stay out of it. He's just respecting my wishes,” Natalie said.

His illusion of her shattered in that moment. He let his fingernails dig into the center of his palm as he he began shaking with a familiar fury, not felt since the Fall, lost but not forgotten. Anything to distract him from his true pain. Natalie, the child of prophecy, he had raised to be good had convinced his brother to abandon them. And yet, that's not the part he couldn't accept.  

“Oh please, my brother hates humans. He'd never willingly listen to you. There has to be another reason. ” Michael said. A person didn't change into someone else overnight.

“There isn't. So, for once, let it go, Michael, ” Lucifer said.

Why her? Why couldn't you love someone else?

“Tell me the truth,” Michael said.

Please, let there be another reason.

“I'm not lying to you,” Lucifer said.

As if, you're the real king of lies here. I protected you, and you never once apologized for desecrating Father's temples, breaking apart the family, and forcing me to be the villain in your story.  

“You lied about being the leader of the freaking rebellion. Why wouldn't you lie about this?” Michael asked, shoving him roughly onto the mattress, curling his hands tightly around Lucifer's wrists and pinning him there. Natalie watched, wide eyed, and he might have reconsidered revealing his violent nature in front of her if not for the fact she brought this upon herself. Next time, don't get involved in the apocalypse, sweetheart.

“Michael please,” Lucifer begged, withdrawn and oddly vulnerable. He hated that he wasn't fighting back. He let go of his wrists and summoned one of his favored weapons if not _the weapon_. He held the blade against his brother's neck. Fight back, dammit.

“Like you would care about a human more than your own family, I know you better than that. Tell me what's really going on, or I'll never forgive you.” Michael snapped. Eyes flashing in white hot rage. You've never loved anyone else, more than Father. You've never cared about anyone the way you cared about me. So, why Natalie? How can the girl with the most beautiful soul in the world be the reason that you finally betray me? I wish I could blame you for falling into temptation, but I can't.

“Fine. I don't want her to die on me. Happy Michael? I care about a stupid human. You win, ” Lucifer said, a light blush on his cheeks. He removed the sword from his brother's neck and banished it back into the abyss. Michael didn't fully register Lucifer's confession, or even, when he left the bed. He didn't feel in control as his worst fear finally came to fruition.    

“Oh Luci, I wouldn't die on you a second time,” Natalie said softly about to reach out and comfort him when Lucifer shot up from the bed.

“What? My fears are fucking rational, Christ,” Lucifer said.

“Language, Lucifer,” Michael reminded him.

“Oh, shut up, Michael.”

“Shit, I hadn't mentioned that yet. Huh? ” Natalie said, stuffing her hands inside the pockets of her hoodie as she looked down, suddenly finding the tan carpet fascinating.

“Details now,” Lucifer demanded.

“Don't worry about it. You were fighting with your brother. Let me start you off again. Like you're one to talk, Michael, you've had a crush on the prophecy girl for like three years,” Natalie said, attempting to mimic Lucifer's overly formal tone.

“Wait, how did you know that?” Michael asked. He'd only come into contact with her again recently.

“Yeah, you might have caught those feelings from Mike,” Natalie admitted sheepishly.

“Dammit, Dad,” Michael said, hiding his reddening face. She'd know this entire time. He didn't even know what was real anymore.

“Hypocrite” Lucifer muttered.

“Why do you even care about her? You don't like humans,” Michael asked unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. She seemed to have changed his entire outlook on life in four days. Something he'd been trying to do for a millenia.

“Because she's mine- I mean she's my responsibility. Deal with it,” Lucifer said, correcting himself. He fooled no one. Natalie beamed at him and confiscated arm, hugging it childishly as if to say, you're mine to. Again, he didn't shake her off or say a word about it.

“Are you sure that's how you really feel? Considering who you used to be, maybe, don't listen to the voices telling you a teenage girl is more important than the fate of the world,” Michael said. Some of his feelings from his past life had to be bleeding through, it was the only rational explanation for how Lucifer would turn on him so quickly. He wouldn't be acting so selfishly otherwise.

“Whatever teenage depression boy,” Lucifer said. Michael maintained a tight-lipped smile.

“At least, I know why I feel the way I feel,” Michael said. Lucifer narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth as his brother's animalistic need to lash out took over. He'd struck a nerve.

“You're the one who forced me into this predicament, Michael. Don't you dare get angry when I keep my promises. You're more than capable of defeating, Zadkiel. So, stop throwing a temper tantrum and get ready,” Lucifer said. Micheal resisted the urge to summon his wings and take off. He really didn't understand his feelings at all if he thought that's what this was about.

“Excuse me, if I don't take my brother leaving me to face the ultimate evil by myself as well as I should,” he shouted. Lucifer had the nerve to roll his eyes.  

“Good job, Michael, keep distracting him with your feelings.” Natalie said, attempting to sneak away.

“Where are you going? Don't think you're getting away without telling me anything. I'm not done with you. ” Lucifer said, chasing after her. She'd barely made it out the door when he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up, strategically imprisoning her arms under his iron grip. She kicked uselessly, struggling to worm her way out of his grasp.  

“Luce, I matter. Pay attention to me,” Michael whined, instantly recognizing that he'd slipped into teenage mode. Dammit, Dad.  

“I'm a little busy right now,” Lucifer said, gritting his teeth.

Natalie bit him. Michael covered his mouth to keep himself from laughing. His glowing eyes gave him away. Fed up, Lucifer rudely tossed her onto the bed. He loomed over her, daring her to try and escape again. She stayed put, grinning apologetically.

“Chill out dude, if I stay away from every major city and never go anywhere near water again, I won't die, probably ” Natalie said. His brother did not chill out, and instead, considered her words carefully, he was about to enter his dreaded interrogation mode.    

“Did someone shoot you?” Lucifer asked.

“This game again. It's not going to work this time. Talk stuff out with your brother,” Natalie said. Lucifer ignored her and went with the next most likely scenario with the information he had.

“Did you drown?” Lucifer asked. She was quiet for a long moment.

“Kind of, but that's not how I died,” Natalie said, a defiant sparkle in her eyes.

“You're infuriating,” Lucifer said with a sigh, running his fingers through his hair as he marveled at the danger magnet in front of him.

“Look, there's so much other stuff that happened that I wanted to talk to you about before this. I didn't plan to bring it up. I just wanted you to stop worrying about me so much. I'm not going to die on you,” Natalie said, slinking off the bed and offering him a warm smile as she pressed her hand against his heart. He instantly crushed her against his chest and she let out a tiny eep. Michael snickered.

“Good job, Gingersnap, he's totally not going to be hyper focused on everything that looks remotely threatening now because you refused to tell him what actually killed you,” Michael said.

“Sarcasm's not a good look on you, Michael,” Natalie mumbled.

“He's not wrong,” Lucifer said. With that, Natalie gave up.

“Fine. We went to the coast. I happened to bump into Pestilence, and I eventually got sick and died. Let's get back to Michael's thing,” Natalie said, so casually you'd think she was talking about running some errands, not her improbable unfortunate death.

“Wait, if you died, how are you- Girl, are you praying? What do you mean please don't put two and two together?” Lucifer asked.

“I order you to never bring this up again,” Natalie said. He scoffed and released her.

“You can't possibly enforce that,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms and glaring at her.

“Try me,” Natalie said, pointing a finger at his chest and flashing her pearly whites.

“How are you- I mean, you should be- I human doesn't just-” Lucifer said, struggling to form a coherent thought.

“Tongue tied, Luci?” Natalie said finally. He scowled at her and landed dramatically on the bed, staring up at the ceiling defiantly.

“Crap, why is this stupid contract so effective?” Lucifer said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Michael shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. Never had he seen his brother so powerless and yet so utterly invested. He turned to Natalie, ready to deal with his human half.  

“Could I meet your friend, the one that looks like me?” Michael asked.

“Umm, I don't think that's a good idea. He's not emotionally prepared to see you. It might push him over the edge,” Natalie said. Normally, he would respect that, but he had to see this human for himself, get an idea of what he might become.

“Ask him, please,” Michael said, taking hold of her hand. Her expression softened.  

“Okay, but if he says no, promise me you won't try to see him on your own,” Natalie said. He nodded eagerly, and she gave his hand one last squeeze before going to the far side of the room to retrieve her phone. Natalie typed furiously for the next few minutes. He wondered if she was in the middle of secret argument with her human friend when she finally shoved the phone in her pocket and joined Lucifer on the bed.

“Mike's coming over. He wants to meet you too,” Natalie said, sounding exhausted.

“Thank you” Michael said absently, trying no to focus on the fact that his brother immediately secured her by the waist and buried his face in her neck.

“I'm sorry,” Lucifer whispered. Natalie's eyes widened and her lips parted as if to reply, you have nothing to be sorry for, before ultimately laughing it off.  

“About what?” Natalie said.

“I'm the reason you keep getting hurt,” Lucifer said.

Michael just stood there, speechless. His brother never apologized, let alone admitted to making a mistake. He scrutinized his brother's piercings but saw no signs of the secret mood ring turning black. There wasn't a reason to call Raphael yet.

“Dude no, what happened at the coast was a fluke,” Natalie said, caressing his face. Michael vaguely wondered if she'd been so open with her affections when he was the devil, either way it was hard to watch.

“The bridge,” Lucifer countered. She withdrew her hand and bit her lip.

“I didn't have to follow you. It was my choice,” Natalie said.

“Someone literally skewered you because you knew me,” Lucifer finished.

“I should have been more careful. I didn't even tell you where I was going,” Natalie admitted. Lucifer narrowed his eyes.

“What?” There was a knock on her door.

“I should get that,” Natalie said, making a move to escape.

Lucifer refused to let her go, and instead whispered in her ear, “We're coming back to that one too.”

Michael went to open the door since Natalie wasn't in any position to get up. His doppelganger had arrived. The other Michael stared at him, slack jawed as if he hadn't quite believed he was real until this moment. Michael wasn't faring much better. What do you even say in a situation like this? The silence dragged on until Michael spoke up, recovering first.

“Hey, you must be, Mike. Nice to meet you.”

“You must be the cosmic entity sent to swallow my soul,” Mike said flatly.

Michael laughed nervously, “Yeah, not my idea.”

'Look, I get that you're like one of God's top angels or whatever, but I'm never going to be happy about you hijacking my body when the world ends. Don't expect us to hang out after this. So, if you have anything to say to me, say it now,” Mike said, briefly turning his gaze to Natalie before instantly regretting that decision. So, they had that in common.

“Why do you like Natalie?” Michael asked. He needed to know if his feeling were real or an echo of this teenage boy's crush.

“You don't have to answer that,” Natalie said, absolutely red in the face. Lucifer shushed her, muttering for her to stay out of it.

“What kind of question is that? She's my friend,” Mike said flustered, for a minute forgetting his hatred.

“Why are you friends then? What do you like about her?” Michael asked. He was getting an answer one way or another.

“I mean she's nice, outgoing, and sees the best in everyone. Who wouldn't want to be friends with her? ” Mike said.

Michael mouth formed a thin line as he considered his double's words.  Who indeed?

“Can we talk about something else now?” Mike said. He heard Natalie say, yes, please in the background. Fine, he probably wasn't getting a better answer than that.

“What do you think is important in life?” Michael asked.

“Helping others, especially those that aren't capable of helping themselves,” Mike said quietly.

Satisfied, Michael moved on to his next question, arguably the most important one,“ What's prom?”

“I swear I had no idea he was going to ask you about a bunch of weird stuff when I asked you come over,” Natalie said, hiding her face in her hands.

“It's okay, Natalie,” Mike said, amused by the question. Did he accidentally ask something weird?

“Prom is a big dance that high school students attend during their Senior year,” Mike answered.

Oh, was that all? “Okay, Natalie, I'll take you to prom.” It sounded fun.

“Wait, you'd said you'd go with me. Did you really go behind my back and ask angel me instead?” Mike said, looking hurt for some reason.

“But, she asked me,” Mike said, not seeing what the big deal was. They could take turns, right?

“Wait, hold on, I didn't- I was just- Lucifer fix it,” she said, hiding behind his brother's massive shoulders. To his surprise, Lucifer took the responsibility seriously and pondered their predicament.

“I've seen this scenario before on television. This can go one of three ways,” Lucifer said, holding up three fingers for emphasis.

“Oh Luci, have you been taking what television shows tell you about humanity at face value? All that stuff is made up,” Natalie said, patting him on the head like a child.

“No, of course not,” Lucifer said, blushing again.

“You can finish,” Natalie said, encouraging him.

“Now, I don't want to,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms.

“Go ahead, I want your opinion. I trust you,” Natalie said, encircling his neck and pecking him on the cheek. Lucifer immediately caved. It was surreal to watch. He was so entirely different around her. Michael wasn't sure how to feel about the change. Would his brother ever come back to Heaven when he'd found his own personal piece of it on earth?

“One is the worst case scenario were they both reject you,” Lucifer said.

Michael looked over at his double and promptly said,“I'll still take her if you don't want to anymore.”

“I never said I wouldn't. I asked her first,” Mike said, voice wavering as he stared down at his shoes. For the first time, he found himself thinking little Mike was kind of cute.    

“Two, you pick one and explain to the other one that it was all a misunderstanding,” Lucifer said, giving her a meaningful look. Natalie sighed and looked at him. Michael didn't like were this was going. He decided on a preemptive strike.  

“I'm so glad you invited me to the dance, Gingersnap, might make me forget about the fact you turned my brother against me for a couple of weeks,” he said cheerfully. Natalie took the hint.

“Okay, Lucifer, what's option three?” she asked.

“Three, we all go together as friends,” Lucifer said. Natalie raised an eyebrow, catching that.

“What do you mean we?” Natalie asked.

“Of course, in this scenario, you would take your best friend too to relieve the tension,” Lucifer reasoned. She grinned, charmed by his brother's naivety. Lucifer coming with them was the opposite of relieving tension.

“Okay, I like that option. What do you guys think?” Natalie asked.

“I don't have a problem with it,” Michael said. His double shot him a dirty look.

“Yeah, sure, Nat, let's go with that,” Mike said, shoulders slumped as he was forced to share his date with two angels. Yeah, he was going to have to get used to sharing. Michael decided against telling little Mike Satan might also crash the party if she got wind of it. The boy was sulking enough already.

 


	7. Not Serious

###  **Not Serious**

 If you had told Natalie that she would literally find herself nestled between an angel and a devil on a Sunday night before she contracted Satan, she would have laughed in your face and called you a kidder. Now, she would accuse you of being a witch for accurately predicting her plans for the weekend.

“Why are we watching this again?” Lucifer asked, resting his chin on the palm of his hand, already determined to hate the movie before he even watched it.  

“This is Zadkiel's favorite movie. We want him to feel welcomed,” Natalie said, keeping her tone upbeat to hide her nervousness. She'd wanted to keep him out of her arrangement with Zadkiel, but he'd insisted on supervising.  

“No, we don't,” Lucifer said. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Come on, it'll be fun,” Natalie said, snaking her arm around his and pouting. He was too busy glaring daggers at Zadkiel for it to have any effect.  

“Isn't there a scene where a gargoyle loses a poker game against a bird?” Lucifer asked. She laughed, not seeing the downside.

“Yeah. Doesn't that sound amazing?” Natalie said.

“Nope, I feel dumber having said that sentence,” Lucifer said, gnashing his teeth. Natalie was determined to salvage the night and ignored the fact he was being a grumpy pants.

“The songs are super pretty though. You'll like _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_. I promise,” Natalie said. Zadkiel perked up. Eyes flashing subtly.  

“Oh, you're a fan. What's your favorite song, sweetheart?” Zadkiel asked.

“I ask for nothing. I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I,” Natalie sang spontaneously, having picked up the habit from Zadkiel. Lucifer's sullen expression didn't change, but she felt his grip on her hand tighten.

“Please help my people, the poor and down trod. I thought we all were the children of God,” Natalie finished, getting a little teary eyed.

She noticed Lucifer obscure his face with his free hand, and she thought she saw his golden piercings briefly bleed black. She was about to ask him what was wrong when Zadkiel spoke up.

“If you don't marry this girl, I will.” Eyes sparkling as he casually wrapped his arm around her shoulders and glanced down at their intertwined hands meaningfully. Lucifer instantly freed himself from her grasp, getting self conscious. She didn't push the issue. Natalie giggled, assuming Zadkiel was kidding. She was about to let him down easy when Lucifer beat her to it.

“Zad, she's a minor, back off, even you have to have some morals,” Lucifer said, attempting to shame him into being less of a flirt. Zack remained unfazed, flashing his pointed teeth.

“Hmm, I wonder why you felt the need to look that up,” Zadkiel said.

Lucifer's face burned red from the insinuation. She knew for a fact that he had checked out some law books last time they went to library to get a better grasp on how human society functioned and was about to say as much when Lucifer summoned his golden sword, escalating the conflict.

“How about I slice you in half and you can stop wondering” Lucifer said, making a swiping motion that only served to slice off a piece of Natalie's hair. She blew the small chunk of hair out of her face. He was so paying for that later.

“Try it, I dare you, ” Zadkiel said, removing his arm from her shoulders as he maneuvered his body into a fighting stance. He reached behind him and took out his knives.

Natalie pursed her lips. One of these days she was going to sit down with all the angels and the Fallen she knew and make a no weapons in the house rule. As of now, neither Lucifer nor Zadkiel seemed to consider how he she might be hurt in the crossfire, she gingerly placed a hand on each of their weapons to remind them.  

“Boys, play nice” Natalie said. She wanted to watch the movie already. They only had so much time before her father returned from his date.

Zadkiel and Lucifer lowered their weapons and abandoned their fighting stances, taking great effort to pretend they didn't want to rip each others throats out as they settled back into their respective positions on opposites sides of the couch. Lucifer dispelled his weapon, interpreting what she said as an order instead of a warning. Zadkiel was under no such obligation and held onto one of his knives, moving his thumb along the edge of the blade.

“Besides, humans mature faster than us. I can wait a few years,” Zadkiel said, catching her off guard.

Natalie laughed off the suggestion, getting uncomfortable.  “You're not serious.”

“I am, strange you both seemed to be in denial about it,” Zadkiel said.

Natalie's smile slipped off her face and yet she felt warmth rush to her cheeks. This wasn't the first time one of the Fallen had flirted with her, but something about the way Zadkiel went about it felt too calculated. Like he had planned their entire life in advance and Zack was simply taking his time to properly woo her. She didn't dare look at Lucifer's to see his reaction. Natalie didn't have to. Lucifer pushed her roughly aside, before she could question what was happening. She heard it, a loud smack as Lucifer's fist made contact with Zadkiel's face. Natalie's first instinct was to yell at him for losing control of himself when she heard the sickening crunch of Zadkiel's knife slice Lucifer's flesh.

“Oh shoot, Luce, your arm, you need to be more careful. You haven't done something like that since . . . Jericho,” Natalie said, grabbing hold of his arms to inspect it before dropping it as she realized her mistake. Lucifer felt threatened by Zadkiel. She watched as he slowly healed the large nasty looking cut. Maybe, he was right to worry about the Fallen angel. Zadkiel hadn't hesitated, but she couldn't bring herself to scold him when he'd acted in self defense.  

“Who's Jericho?” Zadkiel asked, rubbing his swollen cheek. Natalie's nerves were shot after the incident, and she refused to give him a direct answer.  Instead, she turned to Lucifer and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, come join me in the kitchen real quick. We need to talk,” Natalie said, getting up and beckoning him to follow. He didn't budge, moving his newly healed arm experimentally.

“He'll still be able to hear us. We might as well talk here,” Lucifer said. She considered asking him to join her in the backyard instead but decided against it. Zadkiel needed to hear this too.

“Zack, would you at least pretend not to listen while we talk stuff out?” Natalie asked. Mostly, she wanted him not to interrupt. She knew damn well Zadkiel was going to ease drop.

“Sure thing, I'd do anything for you,” Zadkiel said, pocketing his weapon and raising his arms in a gesture of goodwill. She stiffened as the implication wasn't quite a sweet as he might have intended.  

“Do I need to cut your tongue out to stop your lies,” Lucifer said, immediately stepping forward to better shield her from Zadkiel's view. She needed to hide her uneasiness better. She didn't want to put Lucifer more on edge than he already was.

“How about you don't make me get out the 'get along' shirt and follow me, 'kay,” Natalie said, dragging him by the arm. He relented, allowing himself to be led away.

“Fine. You, stop flirting so much,” Lucifer said, pointing at Zack.

“Make me,” Zadkiel said, pushing down his lower eyelid and sticking his tongue out.

“Gladly,” Lucifer said, making a move to summon his sword. She snatched his free hand before he had the chance and pulled at his other arm, refocusing his attention.

“Do I really need to order you into the kitchen?” Natalie asked quietly.  

“No,” Lucifer said, shoulders sagging as he reluctantly made his way into the other room, dragging his feet the entire time. She glared at Zadkiel when he snickered and made whipping noises, grateful Lucifer didn't understand human culture enough to get that joke.

“What did you want to talk about?” Lucifer asked, taking out a chair for her to sit. She gladly took it, drumming her fingers on the table as she gathered her thoughts. He sat across from her, scrutinizing her every movement. This wasn't making her any less anxious. She took a deep breath and decided to blurt it out.

“I actually dated someone while we were together in the other world,” Natalie admitted.

“Christ, I don't care, ” Lucifer said, rolling his eyes, already losing interest in the conversation. He was getting the wrong idea again.

“Chill, I'm going somewhere with this,” Natalie promised, biting her lip. She was very tempted to forget the whole thing and bring this particularly sensitive topic up another night.

“Go on,” Lucifer said, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table as he zeroed in on her nervousness.  

“Jericho was just using me to get to you, and he succeeded,” Natalie said, fiddling with her hair to distract herself from his sudden grimace. She wanted to get her point across without being interrogated for the next hour.  

“Could you be anymore vague? I want details,” Lucifer said, calling her on her evasiveness.

“Yeah, can we come back to that later when we don't have company?” Natalie asked, making up an excuse. She personally didn't care if Zadkiel knew the details, but she knew full well that Lucifer wasn't comfortable having Zadkiel around. He hesitated and was about to argue with her when Zadkiel interrupted them.

“Don't mind me. I'm not even listening.”  She hid her grin behind her hand, pretending to cough. This devil had proven himself more useful than she'd first imagined. Lucifer sighed, forcing his face into a more neutral expression.

“Very well, I see your point. Why did you bring up your poor life choices, then?” Lucifer asked.

“You told me he was bad news, but I asked you to trust me and go against your instincts. This was after the bridge incident so you weren't in a position to argue with me. I was the one who should have trusted you. I'm sorry,” Natalie said, placing her hand around his enclosed fist.

“Oh,” Lucifer said, unsure how to respond. She frowned, moving her thumb along his knuckles. Had no one ever apologized to him before?

“So, if you don't want me to hang out with Zadkiel, I'll stop, no questions asked” Natalie said, noticing him visibly relax at her offer despite his stony expression.

“I don't.” Lucifer said, uncurling his fist to interlock his fingers with hers. There was an urgency to the gesture as he tightly held her in place like she might disappear on him if he let go for even a moment.

“But only if you think Zack is actually dangerous and not because you're jealous,” Natalie finished. She had a promise to keep. Lucifer let go of her hand, the connection broken and stood up abruptly, slamming the chair back into place.

“I'm not- I don't get- You're unbelievable. I'm your guardian angel. It's my job to protect you. Zadkiel is bad news. Stop seeing him,” Lucifer said, pointing a demanding finger in her direction.  

“Prove it,” Natalie said, crossing her arms.

He gawked at her and visibly struggled to form a coherent argument. The corners of her mouth turned up. Her devil always seemed to lose his silver tongue around her, how cute.  

“He's the devil. How much more proof do I need?” Lucifer asked, hands open and pleading in front of her, begging her to believe him.

“So, were you,” Natalie reminded him.

“Natalie, that's not fair,” Lucifer said, losing his composure. She'd left him visibly distressed.  

“Too soon?” Natalie asked teasingly, getting up to comfort him.

“Trust me, please,” Lucifer said, immediately taking hold of her hands. She remembered her devil's old calloused hands and how her new angel's hand were smooth and free of most of the scars her Lucifer suffered. She glanced at his newly healed arm and wondered if she was making the right choice.

“Of course, I'll go tell him to leave right now if you can look me in the eye and say you're not making me do this for your own selfish reasons,” Natalie said, touching her forehead to his. She'd stopped playing fair a long time ago.  

“I- He's the- Fine, you can see him, but only if I'm there, and I want advanced notice when he shows up,” Lucifer said, face visibly reddening. He released her hands and backed away from her, not quite prepared for the amount of physical affection he was currently experiencing. She didn't allow him to go far,  amused when he allowed himself to be backed into a corner. Satan wouldn't have made that mistake.  

“Thank you, Lucifer. You won't regret it,” Natalie promised, giving him a brief peck on the cheek before allowing him to escape a safe distance away to calm himself.

“I better not, girl. I'm pretty sure you had me dating a satanist,” Lucifer said, voice regaining its hard edge as he made his way to the opposite side of the kitchen.  

“No, I mean one of your jackets went missing once, and I found it in his closet, but that was probably an honest mistake. And sure, he always wanted to talk about you during our dates and insisted we hang out together all the time, but that's not weird, right?” Natalie asked, rationalizing the whole situation to hell and back.  

“Girl, listen to yourself,” Lucifer said. Yeah, she might have accidentally set up Satan with Jericho.

“Shit, I'm sorry, ” Natalie said. She'd even insisted that Jericho might end up being the one person he cared about by the time the apocalypse hit. Natalie knew perfectly well who that actually was by the end of their time together.

“You can make it up to me by buying me more candy. I'm starting to get withdrawals,” Lucifer said, rubbing the side of his forehead with his fingertips. So, Zadkiel hadn't been the only reason he'd been cranky all day.  

“How did you go through fourteen bags of candy already?” Natalie asked. She couldn't afford to keep feeding him sweets if he went through a hundred dollars worth of candy in a matter of days.

“Who's the one on trial here?” Lucifer asked.

“Fine, whatever,” Natalie said. He was paying for them. She'd noticed his clothes were always covered in dog hair when he came home so he must still be walking dogs for money.

“Why do you even want him around? Even you have to see he's not worth the trouble he brings,” Lucifer asked, giving up on any sense of stoicism as he scowled at her. His sharp angular features made his angry face easy to see, even from across the room.  

She couldn't deny that Zadkiel had made her uncomfortable today, but he could have asked her for anything, and all he wanted was someone to care about him. There was a sincerity there that she couldn't readily dismiss. Natalie wasn't ready to give up on Zadkiel yet.

“He helped me out and the only thing he asked for in return was for me to be his friend. Sure, he's not perfect, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt,” Natalie said. She wanted to keep being the kind of person that gave people a chance.  

“I see, you just had the unfortunate luck of catching his interest. Quit being so nice all the time, ” Lucifer said in a huff. He was going to regret that.

“Okie dokie loki, for an angel, you're super insecure,” Natalie said, satisfied when Lucifer became outraged enough to march over to her and close the distance between them.

“I am not insecure. You just keep me in a constant state of stress with your bad decisions,” Lucifer said, keeping his voice even, clenching his hands into fists to keep the anger in. That couldn't be healthy.  

“You're also terrible at buttoning up shirts. I swear sometimes you're like a toddler,” she said, refusing to stop until she got a rise out of him. He flicked her nose. Ow.  

“I said stop being nice to Zadkiel, not me. He's clearly taking advantage of the fact you're a total push over,” Lucifer said. Oh, not only had she been given the label nice out of nowhere, she was a push over now too.

“I thought I was the devil,” Natalie said cheekily. Pleased, when his eyes widened and his mouth briefly opened as if not sure what to say to that, he hadn't expected her to correct him.  

“Yes, a devil who's a push over. You're terrible at your job,” Lucifer said, recovering nicely.

“I'm not a pushover,” Natalie said. She wouldn't have lasted a week with the devil, let alone a year with him, otherwise.

“Says the girl who has three dates to prom,” Lucifer said. Natalie raised an eyebrow, skeptically.

“I thought you were coming for emotional support,” Natalie said, hoping to catch him contradicting himself again. No such luck.

“I am, but that doesn't erase the fact that you have trouble saying no to people,” Lucifer said, getting back to his point. She side eyed him.

“Seriously, I don't. I want to go with you guys. Who says it needs to be a couples thing?” Natalie said, linking her arm with his. She was going with her three longstanding friends, and there was nothing wrong with that.

“What about Zadkiel?” Lucifer asked, watching for any hint that she'd been coerced into the arrangement. Frankly, he shouldn't have bothered. She was the kind of girl who would have befriended the dragon and told the knight to buzz off. He didn't seem to get that yet, despite the mounting evidence.

“I think Zadkiel truly wants to be my friend, or he wouldn't have asked,” Natalie said with a shrug. It was as simple as that.

“I still think he's up to something,” Lucifer said, mouth forming a thin hard line.

“I mean, he mentioned wanting to corrupt you,” Natalie said, framing the information as a joke to soften the blow. She wasn't fully convinced that wasn't Zadkiel's plan, and Lucifer deserved to know. Immediately, he went rigid and let out a shaky breath.  

“Can I take back what I said about you being able to see him while I'm around?” Lucifer asked, finally acknowledging that in the end what they did would always be her decision.

“No, but if it makes you feel better, he's not interested in dating you,” Natalie said, attempting to cheer him up. He let out a soft chuckle and ruffled her hair with his free hand.

“You asked Satan if he was interested in me. What's wrong with you?” Lucifer asked.

“According to past you, everything,” Natalie said, giving him a tongue and cheek answer. The smile left his face, and he avoided looking at her as he spoke.  

“I mean, not everything.” Lucifer admitted. Oh, he had taken her seriously.

“Really? What do you like about me?” Natalie asked, standing on her tippy toes while looking at him with expectant wide eyes.

“I don't like you,” Lucifer said automatically. Pfft, so, much for that, she might as well tease him a little bit. This was a rare opportunity.

“'Kay, maybe, I'll ask Zack,” Natalie said, releasing his arm and slowly walking away.

“You're gorgeous and easy to manipulate,” Zadkiel shouted from the living room. Natalie grinned maniacally. Perfect.

Lucifer grabbed her arm, more roughly than intended and pulled her back to his side.

“Shut up, I wasn't done.” Lucifer shouted back.

“Then, tell her you love her, coward,” Zadkiel yelled.

“I don't love you . . . I mean . . . I don't completely hate you. You're innocent. I've never had a problem with humans like you,” Lucifer said, getting flustered.

“Uh huh, you've said that before. What else?” she asked, getting in front of him in order to block any potential escape. Natalie pressed her hands against his chest, still looking up at him with large hopeful eyes. This is the most direct answer she'd received from any Lucifer, and she greedily wanted more.

“Do we really have to have this conversation right now?” Lucifer asked, gently taking hold of her hands and removing them from his person.

“Yes, go for it, Lucifer. It's not like I'll use this information against you later or anything” Zadkiel said, taunting him. He wasn't helping.  

“Don't antagonize him, Zack,” Natalie said. Don't ruin this for me, dammit.

“He started it,” Zadkiel yelled back. Lucifer had enough and pushed her away, heading back to the living room presumably to rough up their guest.  

“Let's go watch the stupid movie,” Lucifer muttered.

Movie night went better than expected. She laughed at all the stupid immature jokes that always made Lucifer cringe. He didn't say a word the entire movie, but occasionally, Natalie would feel him squeeze her hand for comfort. Zadkiel and Natalie sang every song. The only time she felt remotely ill at ease was when Zadkiel sang the Hellfire song, eyes glowing in a very obvious tell. Lucifer must have been paying attention because she felt the familiar hand squeeze and she relaxed. Natalie wasn't alone, and if her luck held, she'd never be alone again.

When the movie finished, Zadkiel grabbed her by the waist and pulled her over to him, purposely drawing her away from Lucifer. Grinning from ear to ear, he casually said, “This was nice an all but we should go somewhere exciting next time. How do you feel about going to the city?”

“Yeah, city is a no go. I don't want to go anywhere too crowded and full of disease,” Natalie said, rubbing her neck as if her throat was still covered in phlegm. She never wanted that suffocating sickness to touch her ever again.

“Okay, what about the coast? It's nearby, and if you go early enough, the beach is practically empty,” Zadkiel suggested.

Out of all the places in the world he could have suggested, he had to bring up that accursed place, what a cruel joke. Lucifer's casual hold on her hand changed into a death grip. She squeezed his hand in reassurance.

“About that, I'm just going to be upfront with you. I got sick and died when visiting the coast with Lucifer. I don't want to go anywhere Pestilence might be around,” Natalie said. She would have preferred never to mention her death to anyone ever again, but if it spared her from having awkward conversations like this one in the future, she would gladly fill him in.

“Is that all? The end of days hasn't even started yet. She's not going around spreading diseases right now. Besides, I have Ipos book. We can look up where she's going to be and avoid that area, give you some peace of mind,” Zadkiel said.

“I hadn't thought of that. I guess if we plan ahead we should be fine,” Natalie said, attempting to pull back several unruly strands of hair behind her ear before she remembered they'd been cut way too short by Lucifer's blade.

“Exactly, sorry you had to die, love. Your Satan obviously wasn't good at thinking things through,” Zadkiel said, hands glowing a soft purple as he fixed her hair for her, returning each strand to its proper length.

“Shut up, stop pretending you actually care about her. The only thing you care about is getting your way,” Lucifer snapped, forcibly removing Zadkiel's arm from her waist and pulling her back to his side. Zadkiel chuckled and thankfully did not attempt to retrieve her. She'd had enough of being tossed around like a rag doll tonight.  

“Oh, did I hit a nerve?” Zadkiel asked. Eyes glowing mischievously.

Natalie felt Lucifer tense behind her. She stood up, worried she wouldn't be able to stop the fight if things escalated. The most she'd be able to do is make the fight terribly one sided. Clapping her hands together, she smiled brightly.  

“So, it's settled. Zad, you'll find out where Pestilence is going to be, and then, we can pick something to do together,” Natalie said.

Lucifer shook his head and glowered, clawing at the couch because he'd missed his chance to get a hold of Zack and tear him to shreds. Zadkiel smiled smugly at his brother before getting up to join her.

“Sounds like a plan, shame Lucifer won't let you out of his sight or we could go to some of the Fallen hangouts,” Zadkiel said, lazily placing his arm around her shoulders. His eyes were trained on his brother looking for any perceived weakness.

“Good, I don't want her exposed to their filth,” Lucifer said, crossing his arms and looking away. His piercing started to bleed black, and she was having trouble keeping the smile on her face.

“Oh please, I know the real reason you don't want her to meet them,” Zadkiel said, sounding genuinely angry. Something she hadn't witnessed since he'd spoken with his Father.  

“Why? They all love Lucifer, right?” Natalie asked, completely clueless. Lucifer's silence was damming. Natalie bit her lip, remembering what the world thought of traitors. Friends of Heaven often made an enemy of Hell. Lucifer transformed into his tiny Stan form, distracting her from her thoughts.  

“Why hello there, short stack,” Zadkiel said, absolutely delighted by this development. He released her and bent down to greet his little brother.

“Come any closer, and I'll rip your eyes out,” Lucifer said. She recognized that passive aggressively cheery facade as a warning not to push her luck. Zack was not experience enough to take the warning seriously.

“Ha Ha, I won't then,” Zadkiel said, daring to ruffle his hair. Lucifer was quick to bite his wrist.

“Son of a-” Zadkiel started to say when she interrupted him.

“Oh, are we out of time already?” Natalie asked, feeling bad that she found his pout adorable when he was swallowing his pride in order to keep his cover.

“Yes, your father is coming. I heard the car pulling up the driveway, ” Lucifer said.

Natalie paled as she realized how little time she had left to pull this off. If her father came in and saw a nearly six foot tall man with tattoos in her living room, she was _so_ grounded.  

“Zadkiel, go out the backdoor. If you're careful, he won't spot you,” Natalie said, grabbing him by the shoulders as she attempted to gently guide him to the backdoor. He didn't budge.  

“Nah, I'd like to meet him,” Zack said, turning to grin at her malevolently like the damn trickster god he was. Zadkiel was being difficult on purpose.

“You can't meet him looking like that. You'll give the poor man a heart attack. Besides, I'd rather you not get entangled in her family life,” Lucifer said, giving him more incentive to stick around.

“Ha Ha, you wish. I'm in this for the long haul. Hmm, let's see. He'd find a woman less threatening right?” Zadkiel said. Natalie's first instinct was to argue that he didn't need to flip genders if he didn't want to, but the faster he changed forms the less likely she would be in trouble with her dad for having questionable friends.

“We don't have time for this. Hurry up and leave,”  Lucifer said, through gritted teeth.

“I don't want to be short like you. I know I'll be her new teenage friend. Walla! I'm still gorgeous and not inconvenienced in the slightest,” Zadkiel said, transforming into a shorter, less toned, version of her female form before her very eyes. The clothes she wore had a very eighties vibe, with funky bright contrasting colors and impractical embellishments.

“I don't hate you, but you're terrible,” Lucifer groaned.

“Love you too, bro,” Zadkiel said, purposely copying her upbeat tone. Did she really sound like that much of an airhead?

“Oh, hello there, I haven't seen you around before. Are you one of Natalie's friends?” Alex said, friendly and welcoming as always. Natalie let out a sigh of relief.

“Yes, I just transferred here from another school, and she invited me to movie night,” Zadkiel explained, hands behind her back as she swished her hips, using exaggerated motions to sell her youth and naivete.

“That's lovely. What's your name?” Alex said.

Aware that her actual name was probably taboo, Natalie wracked her brain trying to think up a name that would fit the fallen angel on such short notice.

“Her name is Ze-” Zadkiel cut her off before she had a chance to finish.

“I'm Zadkiel. Nice to meet you, sir, ” she said, holding out a hand for him to shake.

To her father's credit, Alex did his best not to look too shocked. “Oh, umm, what an unusual name,” Alex said, returning the handshake, smiling weakly.

“But my friends call me Xena the warrior princess,” Zadkiel said with such confidence that Natalie couldn't help but giggle.

“I'm not calling you that,” Lucifer muttered.

“Very well, Xena, are you hungry? I brought some leftovers for these two. I'm sure they wouldn't mind sharing,” Alex said, humoring her.

“Sure, I'm not the one who has a problem with sharing,” Zadkiel said, clearly throwing shade at Lucifer. The statement was innocuous enough for her Father to miss.  

“My problem's with you, not sharing,” Lucifer said. Natalie slapped her forehead and sighed. Lucifer had never been one for subtlety.  

“Oh my, did something happen?” Alex said, adjusting his glasses nervously. Memories of Max's temper tantrums probably playing in his head.

“No, dad, Lucian is just grumpy. I'll share with her. No problem. There's no need to start fighting over pasta,” Natalie said, doing her best to smile enough for the three of them.

“It's fine. I'll give her mine. I'm not that hungry anyway,” Lucifer said, shooting her a look that said, You're a human. You need to eat, dummy.

“That's very kind of you, Lucian. You kids have fun. I'm going to turn in,” Alex said, trusting her to send Zadkiel away after diner and get some shut eye before school tomorrow. She wasn't sure it was going to be that easy to chase the devil out of her house.

No one said a word as they entered the kitchen, Natalie and Zadkiel each holding a carton full of pasta. Zadkiel pulled up a chair with such effortless elegance that you'd think she wasn't annoyed. The way she played the knife game with her plastic fork said differently. Lucifer mechanically took a seat, purposely dragging his seat over so he was sitting between them. Natalie opened the box and started stuffing her face, ignoring the tension in the air. Zadkiel followed her lead, but she was so damn graceful that Natalie found herself staring. Zad gave her a knowing smile, and she looked away, stuffing more pasta into her mouth hole.

“Can you two at least pretend to get along when my dad is around?” Natalie asked finally.

“ Lucifer is the one who made it personal,” Zadkiel reasoned. She wasn't wrong, but she wasn't innocent either.

“Zad being passive aggressive is not helpful. Don't antagonize your brother,” Natalie said, shaking her fork at her before taking another bite of pasta.

“It's not my fault you bring the devil out of him, love,” Zadkiel said, twirling her fork back and forth with no intention of eating anything else. Natalie spit out her pasta, not prepared for that response. Unfortunately, stray bits of pasta landed on Lucifer's face, he remained silent, but his menacing glare spoke volumes. She was too angry to properly beg for forgiveness.

“What the Hell, Zad? Like he doesn't call me the devil enough these days, explain yourself,” Natalie yelled.

“He's overly possessive of you,” Zadkiel said, snapping her plastic fork in half.

“That's not true. Sure, Lucifer's being a little overprotective but-” Natalie said, before Lucifer butted in.

“Excuse me, why wouldn't I be when the devil takes a sudden interest in you?” Lucifer asked, snapping her own plastic fork before she had a chance to stuff her face and avoid the question.  

“Not to mention the fact you're opting out of the apocalypse because she asked you to, selfishly abandoning your family when they need you most, I would say those are the actions of a devil not an angel,” Zadkiel said with a smirk.

“How did you even get that information?” Lucifer asked evenly. Jaw clenched and fists at the ready as he directed his glare at the fallen angel.

“How do you think? Michael was whining about it in Gabe's coffee shop and one of the Fallen happened to stop for a drink and overheard,” Zadkiel said.

“Time to yell at Michael again,” Lucifer muttered dejectedly. She had a feeling this wasn't the first time Michael had accidentally spilled Heaven's secrets.  

“Anyway, it's been fun, but I really should be going,” Zadkiel said, giving her a quick salute before making a hasty exit.  

“Bye, Zad,” Natalie said, relieved she didn't need to ask her to leave.

“Bye Nat, see you at prom,” Zadkiel said.

“Michael mentioned that too, huh? I guess it's a date, ha ha.” Natalie said, playing it off as a joke. She was already taking three guys to prom. What harm could bringing one more person do?

“Really, girl?” Lucifer said, once Zadkiel left the premises. He'd been quietly steaming for a while now.

“What? She knows I'm not serious,” Natalie said, knowing perfectly well Zadkiel could still hear them from the sidewalk. Maybe, she was serious, but Natalie was not and most likely never would be. Zadkiel blew her a kiss, and she rolled her eyes. This Satan was persistent. She'd give her that much.

 


	8. Not a Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Natalie has a study session with Kristi and Lucifer disapproves of her less than honest ways.

###  **Not a Liar**

Natalie stuck her tongue out in concentration as she stacked an impressive amount of books together into a neat pile. She really needed to catch up on her assignments if she wanted to keep her grades up so she’d reluctantly called Kristi and asked her to be her study buddy again. So much had happened between them that she’d nearly forgotten how down right pleasant Kristi could be when she wasn’t a terrified nervous wreck. She came in a few minutes early saw the large stack of assignments next to Natalie and laughed.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you were falling behind,” Kristi said, sitting across from her and taking out her own enviably small stack of school work.

“Do what you can while I finish up and then, we’ll tackle the hard stuff together,” Kristi said, softly humming under her breath as she opened her book, happily scribbling notes here and there as she read.

Natalie nodded, relieved that she wouldn’t be stuck struggling with the same math problem over and over again until Lucifer came home and kindly offered his help. As much as she appreciated his input, she felt like she was relying on him too much lately.

Natalie kept glancing at the door, drumming her fingers impatiently. She’d been hoping to talk to Lucifer before Kristi showed up. Now, her best bet was to intercept him before he had time to reveal himself to yet another unsuspecting human.

“Why do you keep looking at the door? Expecting someone?” Kristi asked, eyes brimming with curiosity.

“Uh… Kind of, why’d you ask?” Natalie said slowly, weary of Kristi’s gossiping nature.

“Rumor has it that you’re seeing an older guy,” Kristi said, chewing the tip of her pen in anticipation.

Natalie stifled a laugh. That was the understatement of the year. No wonder she’d agreed to see her on such short notice.

“Ah, someone must have seen me with Lucian. He’s a foreign exchange student living in our house,” Natalie said, the lie slipping out easily.

“Is he cute?” Kristi asked, undeterred by Natalie’s lack of enthusiasm.

“Some might find him good looking,” Natalie said reluctantly. The last thing she needed was the school thinking she was dating an older guy.

“Not your type, huh?” Kristi said, not really looking for an answer. She’d already made up her mind.

“You could say that,” Natalie said, pretending to work on her assignment to avoid making eye contact with Kristi.

There wasn’t any use in fixating on a person who didn’t exist anymore.

“Let’s get back to work. I don’t think he’s going to show up any time soon. He must have gotten distracted,” Natalie said, reluctantly opening the book she’d been assigned to read.

After quickly scanning the pages, Natalie shut the book, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Of course Lucifer had already read the damn book and left helpful notes in the margins, why wouldn’t he? He was a damn angel and… She’d been best friends with the devil.

Maybe, she should let him go. He was obviously growing restless if he’d gone through The Scarlet Letter in an afternoon. The book was incredibly dry and verbose, not really Lucifer’s style at all. What was the worst that could happen?

Bloody gashes on his back, tired defeated eyes looking back at her as if she was a stranger, how could she have ever guessed what any of it meant? She shook her head, better a bored angel than a maimed angel or… even a dead angel. She snapped her pencil in half.

“Can’t concentrate?” Kristi asked, a knowing smile on her lips, oblivious to Natalie’s inner turmoil.

“Yeah, I think I’ll come back to this later and start on my history assignment,” Natalie said, ignoring what Kristi was implying.

“Come on, Natalie, tell me what’s bothering you. I won’t tell anyone. I promise,” Kristi said, beginning to pout, a particularly effective tactic with her full juicy lips.

Natalie caught herself gaping at Kristi and looked away. She ran her fingers through her hair and grimaced until she remembered where she picked up the habit and stopped.

“Fine, you caught me. I’m worried Lucian isn’t adjusting well to life in the suburbs.” Natalie admitted, a rather boring answer that Kristi wasn’t too keen on.

“He’s probably just home sick. I wouldn’t worry about it,” Kristi said dismissively, returning her attention to her workbook.

Natalie frowned, tapping her pencil on the table as she watched Kristi effortlessly solve equation after equation. She bit her lip, remembering a time when she’d been an A+ student with lots of friends and extracurricular activities to keep her busy.

So, why was it so hard now?

Natalie sighed, getting up and walking over to the cupboard to take out her unfinished history project. It wouldn’t hurt to try to be her well adjusted self again, even if her mind was stuck contemplating the problems of angels and the Fallen.

“I guess that’s part of it, but I also think he’s just not used to having so much free time,” Natalie said, frowning when she found a nearly completed diorama of the great reign of terror with a functioning tiny guillotine instead of the so so creation that she’d haphazardly made the night before.

“Then, the solution is obvious, show him around and keep him busy,” Kristi said.

Natalie rolled her eyes as if that would actually work.

“Maybe, I will.” Natalie said instead, fixated on the diorama in front of her.

It was too perfect. She didn’t want to touch the thing and ruin it. So, she gently placed the diorama back in the cupboard and shut the door, ready to deal with the only thing the angel hadn’t touched, math.

Slightly bitter that he’d left her to fend herself in the only subject that she’d consistently struggled with, Natalie tried and failed multiple times to come up with a solution that didn’t result in utter gibberish.

The math problems had seemed simple enough to solve during class, but now that she was alone, she was drawing a blank. Natalie let her head dramatically hit the table. Stupid homework. Ow. Stupid Natalie, you should have taken better notes.

“I’m never going to get this done alone, am I?” Natalie muttered, already resigned to wait until she could get some assistance from Lucifer. She didn’t want to bother Kristi with her incompetence unless she had to.

It wasn’t her fault that Natalie had spent half a year galavanting with the devil instead of studying. 

Kristi immediately noticed that she’d completely given up on math and scrambled to put away her things and help her.

“Hold on, I’ll walk you through it. I can finish my work later,” Kristi said, scooting her chair closer to look over Natalie’s work.

“Thanks Kristi, you’re the best, ” Natalie said, giving her a genuine smile.

They could actually be friends now.

“Heck yeah, I am, ” Kristi said, pumping her fist in the air.

Natalie laughed, amused by Kristi’s unbridled confidence. She wanted Little Miss Sunshine to keep shining.

Lucifer burst through the door, panting heavily, still covered in muddy paw prints and bits of leaves. Natalie couldn’t help but stare. This Lucifer never let himself be less than immaculate by choice.

“I’m back. I had to chase down Brownie and lost track of time. He’s going through a rebellious phase,” Lucifer said, wiping the dirt off with a dish rag, oblivious to Kristi’s presence.

The look on Kristi’s face made it very apparent that she very much wanted to change that. Oh no, she could not let Kristi take a special interest in Lucifer. He’d never be able to keep a secret that long.

“Hi Lucian, Natalie told me all about you,” Kristi said, smiling eagerly.

Natalie resisted the urge to shout he used to be the devil.

“Oh good, then, I don’t need to bother keeping up appearances,” Lucifer said, tossing the dirty rag into sink.

“Actually, we should talk outside before you say anything else,” Natalie said, attempting to forcefully take him by the arm and drag him into the living room.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow and remained where he stood, not taking the hint. She continued to pull at his arm unsuccessfully until he finally got fed up and lifted her off the ground, making her squeak in surprise.

“I knew it. You two are dating,” Kristi said, jumping up and down and clapping her hands together excitedly, even though all that was really happening was that Lucifer’s annoying habit of carrying her like a sack of potatoes was back with a vengeance. 

“Actually, she’s dating three other people. We’re just friends,” Lucifer said without a hint of malevolent intent. He just really didn’t get how that sounded. 

“Oh really?” Kristi said, sporting a wolfish grin.

Yeah, she’d totally lost control of the situation.

“Lucifer, would you please stop saying words now and put me down,” Natalie said, kicking her feet in the air with wild abandon until he got the message.

He scowled, setting her down gently after a minute or two of watching her pathetically struggle to free herself.

“What? I was under the impression that having multiple people interested in you at the same time was desirable for a teenage girl,” Lucifer said, having watched far too many young adult movies in the past week.

“I swear you used to be smarter,” Natalie hissed.

Immediately, Lucifer’s face scrunched in displeasure. She’d hit a nerve.

“What? You’re acting like I told her one of them was the devil,” Lucifer said in a huff.

Natalie laughed way too loudly.

“He’s kidding,” she said.

“Of course, the devil has better things to do than hang out with you, silly,” Kristi said, still smiling like the damn sun.

God, she really didn’t want to lose rational Kristi. Mike was already suffering from a prolonged depression.

Her blood ran cold as she noticed a familiar glint in Lucifer’s eye, the kind that always caused her unnecessary headaches. He ruffled her hair, smiling petulantly. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Apparently, Satan has a type,” Lucifer said.

Natalie stepped back as if she’d been struck. He wouldn’t dare.

“Oh you, Nat would never hang around someone like that. She’s a regular at our church,” Kristi said with such unbridled confidence that she momentarily felt guilty until she realized what all that implied.

“Hey Kris, what if the devil wasn’t actually bad? Would you still care if I was friends with him?” Natalie asked, feeling oddly vulnerable.

“First off, the devil is always bad. If you don’t think so, he’s already tricked you, ” she said, brushing off the suggestion without a second thought.

And, she really should have just given up and kept her mouth shut, but her newly awakened soul tugged at her conscience, well aware of Lucifer’s intense gaze.

“He was an angel once. Are you saying an angel isn’t capable of redemption? No one starts off as a villain in their own story,” Natalie said.

“Woah, I didn’t really come here for a deep philosophical discussion on the nature of evil. How about we dial it back and get back to mathematics?” Kristi asked, diplomatically changing the subject.

“Sure, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. It’s just been on my mind,” Natalie said, grateful when Lucifer didn’t say anything else.

Then again, he seemed to be lost in his own world, and it was anyone’s guess if he was still listening in or not.

“ Why? By all accounts, the devil is an unrepentant sinner, ” Kristi said.

Natalie’s lips twitched, nearly forming a smile. The devil she knew had always been softer than he let on, but she couldn’t really say that he wasn’t a unrepentant sinner, only that he’d loved her more than anything.

“Because I like to believe we’re all capable of redemption, no matter what anyone says, ” Natalie said, well aware of her own sins and her less than stellar track record when it came to making up for those mistakes.

She jumped when she felt Lucifer place a hand on her shoulder, having completely forgotten he was in the room. Undeterred by her sudden fright, he leaned in and whispered his own thoughts on the matter.

“Does it count as redemption if you have no idea what the hell you did to deserve forgiveness?” Lucifer asked, pulling back as quickly as he’d come, clearly not expecting an answer.

She shivered, feeling like she’d failed him somehow.

Had she been wrong to cleanse him of his sins? Was she just preventing the inevitable?

Kristi flashed her a knowing smile, piecing together a version of the story that wasn’t quite true but was close enough to earn her loyalty.

“Okay, I sorta see where you’re coming from, but seriously, Nat, don’t go after devils, stick with the angel right behind you, ” Kristi said teasingly, making Natalie flinch.

That was the last thing on her mind right now.

Lucifer snorted, and she could nearly imagine a smile creeping onto his face.

“But I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, just let me know if you ever get in over your head, and I’ll bail you out, ” Kristi said, her expression softening as she reached for her hand.

God, she wished that were true, but she’d already seen how easily Kristi fell apart when thrust into circumstances she didn’t fully comprehend. But at least for this moment, she eagerly accepted Kristi hand, relishing in its warmth.

“Hah, the only thing that has me in over my head right now are these quadratic equations, ” Natalie said, reluctantly pulling away from Kristi’s touch to refocus her attention on her school work.

“Don’t fret, I gotcha. I’m ready to switch into tutoring mode and make you a mathematics wiz,” Kristi said with such infectious optimism that Natalie found herself nodding eagerly.

They settled into a comfortable silence as Lucifer watched over them, occasionally jumping in and offering his own explanation when he noticed her struggling.

And that would have been it, but as always, the devil is in the details.

“Yo, you guys ready to go to Italy? I found a perfectly secluded beach with stunningly clear water, probably much better than the beach Lucifer took you to last time.” Zad shouted, not bothering to look up as he stepped out of the swirling pink vortex.

“I promise Pestilence won’t be there spreading the plague or whatever. Technically, the apocalypse hasn’t even started yet,” Zad said when she didn’t dare speak, afraid to snap Kristi out of her stunned silence.

“ We can pop right in & out, no problem. Thanks to this little God send,” Zad said, waving Ipos forbidden book around like it was nothing.

“Oh, you have company,” Zad said, finally giving pause when he entered the kitchen and noticed Kristi’s trembling form.

“Whatever she can come too, maybe, she’ll keep Lucifer busy while we have some fun, ” Zad said, casually grabbing a chair and sitting beside her, giving her a subtle wink.

“Umm… What just happened?” Kristi asked, on the brink of panicking.

“Nothing, nothing happened,” Natalie said.

“You’re such a terrible liar. It’s adorable, ” Zadkiel said, ruffling her hair.

She shoved his hand away, practically hissing at him.

Christ, why did he have to pick today of all days to show up?

“But he came out of nowhere and I’m pretty sure he had horns a second ago,” Kristi blubbered, pointing a shaking finger at Zad.

“Don’t worry, he’s a magician. It’s all just parlor tricks and props,” Natalie insisted.

“Are we really going to pretend my brother isn’t the de-”

Natalie slapped her hand over his mouth and ordered him not to say a word.

“Pretty cool, right? ” Natalie said, releasing Lucifer and forcing a smile.

Please believe me.

“I could have sworn it was real,” Kristi whispered, settling down, now that she’d been given a somewhat believable excuse.

“Yeah, I get that reaction a lot. I’m amazing I know,” Zad said with a smirk as he examined his fingernails, clearly enjoying how the situation was unfolding.

Meanwhile, Lucifer stood, tall and looming, behind her, jaw clenched as if testing the limits of her power.

Yikes, she wasn’t looking forward to the lecture that was surely coming.

Maybe, it wasn’t too late to talk her way out of this.

“You know I’m always happy to see you, Zack,” Natalie said, hesitating as she considered how he might react if she rejected him completely.

“But?” Zadkiel said, already losing his good humor.

“I’m in the middle of doing homework with my good friend, Kristi. I can’t really hang out right now,” Natalie said, relieved when Zadkiel seemed to relax.

“Ugh but you always have homework. Lucifer practically finished half your assignments already. Can’t he just do the other half so we can go? ” Zadkiel said, letting out an exaggerated sigh.

Lucifer simply shot him a death glare, unable to do much else at the moment.

“I can come back later if you want to hang out with you friend,” Kristi offered, visibly uncomfortable with the large man in front of her.

Natalie didn’t blame her. Zad wasn’t exactly Kristi’s speed.

“See Sunshine’s okay with it. Let’s ditch these two and have a beach day,” he whispered.

Natalie wasn’t quite able to hide her lack enthusiasm, and Zadkiel frowned.

“I can’t, sorry. I’d rather stay here and finish my work,” Natalie said, faltering as she said it.

She hated disappointing people.

“ Raincheck?” Natalie said sheepishly.

Lucifer chose now to place his hands on her shoulders and if Krisit hadn’t been distracted by the devil in front of her, she might have noticed him emit a soft golden glow of warning.

Zadkiel got the message loud and clear.

“You’re not going anywhere without the wet blanket behind you, bummer,” he said, finally getting the hint.

“Call me when you’re ready to have some real fun,” Zadkiel said, standing up and conjuring another swirling vortex with the snap of his fingers.

Kristi gaped, still not quite believing what she was seeing.

“Wow, your friend is really something,” Kristi said, straining to say something positive as she laughed nervously.

“He doesn’t stop by a lot does he?” she asked hopefully.

“Not really but I’ll talk to him about dropping in unannounced. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable here. I know he can be a little much,” Natalie said.

“Thank you, ” Kristi said, hand on heart as she let out a deep breath.

“I know if he’s your friend that he’s probably a good person, but the sight of him makes my heart race a million miles a minute,” she admitted.

“Why don’t we take this upstairs and relax for a little while,” Natalie offered.

Kristi nodded eagerly, gathering her things and scurrying upstairs.

Natalie stood, taking her time as she packed everything into her backpack before finally turning around to face Lucifer.

“She’s gone. You can speak,” Natalie said quietly.

“You didn’t have to gaslight your friend like that. You could have told her the truth,” Lucifer said evenly.

“I didn’t want her to know. If you weren’t so stubborn, you would have realized that,” Natalie said.

“You told Mike about me. Why is this human any different? Doesn’t she have the right to know that you do indeed hangout with the devil before you put her in harm’s way? ” Lucifer countered.

“He’s Michael’s vessel. He would have been involved anyway. Kristi doesn’t have to be a part of this,” Natalie said.

Kristi deserved to be happy. She wouldn’t ruin her this time, even Lucifer was weirdly insistent on her knowing everything.

“Why do you care what happens to Kristi anyway? You don’t like humans. Or has that changed?” Natalie asked, hoping to catch him off guard.

Lucifer wasn’t phased in the slightest. In fact, his face softened and he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear without seeming to realize how it might come across. She didn’t mind this time.

“I care about you, and I’ve turned you into a liar. I plan to fix that,” Lucifer said as if she was still a child in need of guidance.

God, Archangel Lucifer could be so frustratingly dense.

“Lucifer, you’re exaggerating. A little white lie never hurt anyone,” Natalie said, rolling her eyes at him.

“Maybe so, but you’re only lying to get your way. You need to stop,” Lucifer said firmly, placing his hands on her shoulders once again, easily towering over her.

It no longer felt comforting.

“Name one other time I’ve lied to get my way,” Natalie said, glaring daggers at him.

How dare Lucifer of all people accuse her of being the selfish one?

“You constantly lie to your father. Does he have any idea of what your life is like? The constant danger you’re putting yourself in?” Lucifer said, bombarding her with damming questions.

“No, of course not, he’d drink himself to death if he knew everything I’ve been through,” Natalie said in a low whisper.

“I see. I believe Michael did mention something about your father having an alcohol problem quite some time ago. I take it he relapsed in your world?” Lucifer asked, not looking directly at her.

This probably wasn’t the way he imagined this conversation going

“Yeah, and I’d rather that didn’t happen again if you don’t mind. So, no, supernatural shenanigans while my father’s anywhere in the vicinity ,” Natalie said, hoping to shut him up for good.

Lucifer nodded meekly, uncomfortable with the current subject matter, and yet, he hesitated, picking up Kristi’s fallen pen. 

“I still think you should tell her the truth. She doesn’t deserve to be kept in the dark, even if you think it’s for her own good,” Lucifer whispered.

Natalie froze, heart beating wildly. Had he finally pieced together the awful truth?

“I’m not telling her anything. Nothing good will come from it,” Natalie snapped.

“But, she must have been involved if-” Lucifer started to say when she cut him off.

“Lucifer, I forbid you from telling her anything,” Natalie said.

Lucifer slammed his fist on the table, flashing his pointed teeth at her.

“You can’t do that. I’m not your damn servant,” Lucifer shouted.

If she’d been anyone else, she might have been intimidated, instead, she smiled.

“I just did. Stay downstairs, I don’t want to be disturbed,” Natalie said, patting his cheek.

He growled in frustration. She chuckled, turning her back on him to make her way upstairs when Kristi came back for her damn pen.

“Hey, sorry to come in unannounced but-” Kristi said, falling silent as Lucifer’s spread his gorgeous rainbow wings.

Damn stubborn angel.

Natalie glanced back at him, and he wordlessly withdrew his wings, smiling smugly.

So, Natalie spent the next fifteen minutes catching Kristi up on everything that had happened to her in the last week, keeping it as vague as possible for her benefit.

No need to tell her the world was ending just yet.

“Okay, let me get this straight. You have a guardian angel,” Kristi said.

“Yup,” Natalie said tiredly. This was so not how she wanted to spend her afternoon.

“But his brother, freaking, Michael, the archangel, also has a crush on you,” Kristi said.

“I want to say for the record. I do not have a crush on her. I’ve always been open with my affections,” Lucifer said teasingly. She did not smile back.

“Wow, when did you start living in a soap opera?” Kristi asked, taking the news surprisingly well.

“About a week ago,” Natalie said, rubbing her temple.

She felt a migraine coming on.

“I can’t wait to tell everybody,” Kristi said, smiling beautifully, completely clueless to Natalie’s rising blood pressure.

Natalie shot Lucifer a look.

See, see what you did?

But he just shrugged, absently moving to take her hand in his. She gently pushed him away, still eyeing him coldly. He wisely backed off, finally seeming to realize that she would not be easily won over this time.

“Hey Kristi, real talk?” Natalie said, biting her lip, knowing she was one step closer to losing Kristi to supernatural forces not quite in her control.

“Sure, what’s on your mind?” Kristi asked, wide eyed.

“I don’t want anyone at school to know about this. The less people that know the better,” Natalie insisted.

And already, she could see Kristi pursing her lips, ready to object.

“You wouldn’t want Lucian to have to go away because everyone found out angels exist, do you?” Natalie asked, sticking with a half truth to satisfy Lucifer’s desire to keep her good.

And still, she could see him frowning from the corner of her eye. He’d certainly have to consider it if he started being constantly mobbed by school girls.

“Nat, I won’t tell a soul” Kristi promised.

“Thank you so much, I was so worried you’d freak out on me,” Natalie admitted.

Well, at least, more than she already had, but it seemed the worst was over. 

“Are you kidding? You have a real guardian angel. I’m jealous,” Kristi said, looking Lucifer up and down. And, he seemed to catch the connotation behind the look this time and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s a lot less fun than it sounds. He’s a handful,” Natalie said, elbowing him in the shoulder.

He actually stuck his tongue out at her and had the nerve to push her off her seat. 

Kristi of course turned a blind eye to all this.

“I’m sure he’s not that bad,” Kristi said, dreamy eyed, wishing, for once, that she was in Natalie’s shoes.

“You’re right. I’m glad I get to see him everyday, even if he’s a stubborn brat,” Natalie said, picking herself up, surprised when Lucifer used the opportunity to pull her onto his lap.

What the hell?

“What are you-” Natalie started to say when Lucifer made his move.

“Just forgive me already,” he murmured into her neck.

“Isn’t this better than keeping up an elaborate web of lies and being at the devil’s mercy?” he finished.

She let out a shaky breath, nearly forgetting they weren’t alone when Kristi’s giggle broke the tension.

“Oh Nat, don’t be so hard on him. I’m glad you told me. I thought I was going crazy when I saw your weirdo friend conjuring portals like it was nothing,” Kristi said.

“I guess I’ll forgive him just this once since it wasn’t a complete disaster,” Natalie said reluctantly, feeling played.

“So Zack’s an angel too, right?” Kristi said cheerfully.

Natalie’s smiled dropped, forgetting that she wasn’t completely in the clear just yet.

“He was once …” Natalie said, trailing off.

Kristi paled as if she’d shaken her entire worldview. 

“Oh, I don’t think we can be friends now,” Kristi said slowly, picking up her missing things.

“But Kristi,” Natalie said, cursing under her breath when Kristi just sped past her. 

She’d been such an idiot. How exactly had she expected this to go?

Why had she let Lucifer convince her to be honest one hundred percent of the time? 

“Call me when you’re not in league with the devil,” Kristi shouted from the doorway before slamming the front door shut. She hadn’t even bothered to go upstairs for her books.

And just like that, they were alone, having successfully chased off both of their visitors.

Lucifer didn’t say anything for a long moment, before finally speaking up.

“Okay, maybe, there’s a place for white lies in the grand scheme of things.”

Natalie groaned and hit him in the chest.

“You suck. Don’t follow me. I want to be alone,” Natalie said, retreating upstairs.

“Fine, call me if you need me,” Lucifer said, a huge grin on his face, not taking her temper tantrum seriously in the slightest.

She didn’t stay mad for long. He was her best friend after all.

And, she still needed help with her damn math homework.


	9. Not What I Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ipos opinion both does not matter and very much matters in equal amounts

###  **Not What I Expected**

Lucifer wasn’t made to understand people. It’s not something that used to bother him. He always preferred the company of stars, a colorful palette of unpredictable light, an extension of himself that needed no further examination. Unfortunately, it’s not stardust that kept him company anymore, it’s the girl and if he ever understood her, it’s become a lost art, buried deep inside him, along with the rest of his memories of her.

“You’re kicking me out of the house,” Lucifer said evenly, testing the waters.

He didn’t always get her sense of humor.

As expected, Natalie laughed, but it’s nervous, and she’s fidgeting with her backpack and constantly looking back at the door as if that will keep him at bay. Not a chance, this wasn’t a conversation he was willing to put off. What does he care if she’s a few minutes late? She’d brought this on herself. 

“Not exactly, I just think it’s better if you stay away for a while,” she said without elaborating further. 

He grits his teeth, an unfamiliar heat crawling up his face. She’s never straightforward with him. 

“And, what exactly do you hope to accomplish by barring me from the house?” Lucifer asked, biting back the scathing remark at the tip of his tongue. 

He’d thought they were past yesterday’s unpleasantness, and she’d been careful since the incident not to order him around needlessly. Apparently, she’d been biding her time to drop this bombshell on him before school. 

“I don’t know. Maybe, since it’s your day off, you should pay Gabe a visit while I’m gone?” Natalie offered weakly, attempting to side step him and make a break for it. 

Lucifer shook his head and sighed, easily outpacing her before strategically blocking the doorway. Contract or not, he wasn’t going to let her weasel her way out of explaining things this time. 

“Natalie, why can’t you just tell me the truth? Or do you no longer trust me in your home?” he asked, suddenly uncertain. 

The fact that the house remained relatively unscathed despite the litany of unwelcomed guests they had suffered was a miracle in itself, one she might not want to risk with Zack lingering in the area. 

She stopped in her tracks, shaking her head furiously. 

“No, of course not, I do trust you, I do,” she insisted, smiling warmly at him as she approached. And for a second, he almost believed her until he caught her eyeing the locked door behind him. 

“Then, why?” Lucifer asked stiffly, snatching her hand when it hovered to close, weary of her slipping past him, of hearing the soft click of betrayal if he allowed himself to fall for her feigned affection for even a second. 

It was all the more painful that instead of resisting, she leaned in, squeezing his hand in reassurance. 

“This place isn’t enough for you, Lucifer. It’s not healthy for you to linger here,” Natalie murmured. 

“What exactly do you mean by not enough?” Lucifer asked, furrowing his brows, trying to think, but his concentration feels irrevocably shattered. 

He’s been ensnared by the garden, and he’s not sure if he’s ever hungered for anything more.

“I’ve noticed. . . How to put this- Hmm- You’re slowly driving yourself insane,” Natalie said finally, letting out a sharp little laugh. 

Oh, was that all? He’d gone from running all of Heaven to walking dogs five times a week. 

It’s not a surprise that Earth’s failed to fully satisfy him. Under his current circumstances, he’d been doing his best to manage. 

“How so?” he asked instead, not wishing to worry her further. And, maybe, he can talk her out of her insane plan although his past attempts have all ended with his complete and total surrender. 

“You’ve cleaned the entire house three times now. I think dad actually taught you to do laundry because there are things in my closet I definitely remember tossing in the attic. I don’t think you realized half of them were Halloween costumes. You keep doing my homework before I have a chance to.” She stopped herself, cheeks slightly pink.

“It’s not that I’m ungrateful,” she insisted, triggered another emotion that he can’t quite place, but it’s laced with frustration and that he’s all too familiar with. 

“I never said you were,” Lucifer said, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

Apparently, he was being punished for being too helpful. Lucifer had planned to finish cleaning out the attic today, and possibly hunt for more books to read but that definitely wasn’t happening anymore. 

“ Anyway, maybe you should try spending more time with people when I’m not here,” Natalie suggested, eyes strangely hopeful. He can’t even pretend to go against her. 

“If I go, will you rescind this ridiculous command of yours when you return?” Lucifer asked pointedly. 

“Sure, as long as you make an effort to connect with people when I’m not here, we’re golden,” Natalie amended, withdrawing from him after a quick glance at her watch. She can’t quite hide her panic.

“I should get going. Do you mind?” Natalie asked, shifting his gaze from him to the locked door behind him, a patient smile on her face as she politely waits for him to step aside. 

It finally dawns on him that she never planned to force her way past him. There’s an entirely different heat in his cheeks now. He’s likely earned her a detention.

“As you wish,” Lucifer said absently, forgetting where he’s picked up that particular phrase.

He ignored the ensuing giggles and reluctantly stepped outside, clearing the pathway for her. She briskly walked past him, but not before giving him one last peck on the cheek.

It’s not the first time she’d done that, and he’s sure it wouldn’t be the last, and yet, he very much wanted to say something, anything.

“Natalie, I-” he started to whisper, but he didn’t get to finish because the next words out of her mouth were- 

“Bye Lucifer, I’ll see you soon. Don’t follow me.”

Don’t follow me. 

It stung to be so completely at her mercy. And now, he had no way forward and no way back.

Left with little choice, he went to his brother’s cafe, praying for some kind of distraction. Father delivered. Ipos was waiting for him in his usual booth.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, feeling his muscles tense and his fingers twitch, longing for a battle that would never come. He forced himself to relax. 

Ipos had every reason to destroy him, and never once had he succumb to the temptation

“I could ask you the same thing. Oh wise and terrible leader,” Ipos said, sarcasm thick as he chugged the remainder of his coffee. 

“I’m not here for you,” Lucifer clarified right off the bat. The last thing he wanted was to lead them on anymore than he already had. Ipos chuckled. It was the same deep rumbling sound that he’d missed.

“You never were,” Ipos shot back good naturedly. 

Lucifer paused, unsure how to proceed. Was Ipos not angry anymore? 

He decided to apologize regardless.

“I honestly never meant to -” Ipos cut him off. 

Lucifer braced himself for the worst. 

“Wait, are you wearing a shirt that says fallen angle like a math nerd?” Ipos said, barely holding back a second barrel of laughter. 

Lucifer’s eyes widened, looking down at the offending shirt with a grimace. 

“Don’t say it,” Lucifer said, resisting the urge to take out his wings and hide his shame. It was one of the many gag gifts she had gifted him, and he hadn’t exactly had time to properly get dressed before she unceremoniously kicked him to the curb this morning. 

“How the mighty have fallen,” Ipos said with a grin. 

His first instinct was to petulantly insist he wasn't, but he held his tongue lest they end up not speaking to each other for another millennia. He sat down across from him, face still red hot. This is not at all how he’d imagined a reunion with Ipos going. 

“Relax, if anything, you’re grounded,” Ipos said, an annoyingly smug look on his face. 

Lucifer shot him a glare, but refused to argue the point. He knew why he was here. There was no need to explain himself, even to Ipos. Scratch that, especially to Ipos, his opinion of him meant nothing.

“I know you’re here to see me. So, what do you want?” Lucifer snapped. 

Ipos previous warm devil may care attitude faded as he leaned forward, fingers drumming absently on the table. He was all business now. 

“I hate to ask this. Since, you’ve made it abundantly clear where your loyalties lie,” Ipos said with a huff, eyeing his golden piercings with contempt. 

Lucifer flinched, unwanted memories rising to the surface as a forgotten ache settled in his chest. He wished he could take it all back, fix what could never be fixed, but he could not. 

Despite Michael’s accusations, he was still loyal to Heaven. 

Even so, did Ipos really think that he wouldn’t help him? 

“But, I need a favor,” Ipos continued, half grumbling as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Anything,” Lucifer said, overcompensating the tiniest bit. 

Ipos abruptly looked up and raised an eyebrow at him as if to say, are you really that stupid? 

“Within reason, of course,” Lucifer corrected himself, desperately praying for the familiar flush on his cheeks to go away. He’d been made to feel far too much since coming back to Earth. 

Today, his primary emotion seemed to be embarrassment. 

“Of course,” Ipos said with a nod, mercifully choosing not to tease him further.

“So, what’s so bad that you’d ask me of all people to help you?” Lucifer asked, cracking his knuckles enthusiastically. 

Ipos wouldn’t have called in a favor unless he was expecting all Hell to break loose. 

“Zadkiel stole my book, and I want it back” Ipos said.

Apparently, that was exactly what he was in for. 

Instantly, he factored how the girl might react if he went against one of their “friends.” He frowned.

“I’m not sure I can help you with that,” Lucifer admitted reluctantly, knowing full well how his refusal would come across. 

Ipos mouth formed a thin line, body tensing as he rapped his knuckles against the table with barely contained hostility. 

“So, you said you’d do something, and you took it back, five seconds later, typical. If you’re not going to help me, I’m out of here,” Ipos said, standing up to leave. 

“Good riddance,” he muttered, without any of his usual venom. 

He should stop him, try and explain, maybe even offer him someone else’s expertise, but he does not. 

They will always see him as the coward to end all cowards anyway. What’s the point?

Ipos barely took two steps before he whipped back around to chastise him.

“Do you even get how serious this is?” Ipos asked. 

Lucifer’s mouth curled into a wide grin. They’re not done with each other just yet. 

“So, Zadkiel nabbed themselves a new toy, no big deal,” Lucifer said with a shrug, playing his part. 

He still doesn't want to anger the girl, but he’s missed Ipos, and he’ll string this along as long as he can. 

"No big deal, really? They now have an all powerful ancient tome at their disposal. With that kind of power, They'll kickstart the apocalypse in a week," Ipos said, sliding back into his seat. 

Lucifer scoffed, uniquely qualified to call Ipos on his bullshit. 

“So far, all they've done is open up a couple of dimensional portals trying to impress Natalie. Something they haven't managed in the slightest," Lucifer said with a dismissive wave. 

" They're distracted. We have time. ”

A few millennia ago that would have been enough to end the conversation for good, instead, Ipos shook his head, looking at him like he was the biggest idiot on earth. 

"You really have no idea how long I've been keeping them on a leash, do you? " 

"A leash . . . " The pieces clicked into place. 

"You're the one who tricked Zadkiel into making a contract with Natalie in the first place, aren't you?" Lucifer said with a groan. 

Of course, Zadkiel hadn't contracted Natalie willingly, a suburb in California wasn't exactly his siblings style. 

“Don’t give me that look. I wasn’t expecting them to get contracted to the prophecy girl of all people. I just needed Zadkiel distracted for a few more months,” Ipos said, holding his hands up in surrender as he fell back on old habits. 

“Why? I would think you'd be thrilled the end of days was finally coming. ” 

It’s what he’s supposed to want anyway, what Lucifer always assumed would be the case. 

Ipos leaned back against the cheap plastic, a slightly sheepish smile on his face. 

“I like earth, and Zadkiel was pretty much ready to raze the whole thing to the ground before he met Natalie,” Ipos said.

He then rolled his eyes heavenward before fixing his gaze on Lucifer meaningfully. 

“I don’t know what it is about that girl, but she makes celestials go crazy.”

Lucifer stiffened. The girl did have a knack for charming angels, fallen or otherwise, but he wasn’t about to admit it, especially to Ipos, who’s opinion we’ve established isn’t important. 

“What exactly are you implying?”

This earned another chuckle from Ipos. 

“You’re opting out of the apocalypse because she asked you to.”

It was damning evidence, but he’d always been persuasive when he really wanted to be. 

He kept his face impassive and said matter of factly, “We’re contracted. I have to what she says.”

No luck, Ipos immediately shook his head and shoved him lightly on the shoulder.

“Oh please, we both know if you really wanted to leave. You’d have done it already.” 

The mischievous gleam in his eye told him everything he needed to know. Lucifer sighed. Ipos, as always, was several steps ahead of him. 

“You’re right. I’m here of my own volition,” He thought back to this morning and grimaced.

“More or less.”

“You should have left,” Ipos said.

The words held no malice, only concern. Lucifer stayed quiet. 

“You still can” he added, almost pleading. 

Lucifer shut his eyes, aware he would be foolish to ignore such warnings from a friend he kept tabs on for knowing far too much. And yet, it wasn’t enough to tempt him out of Eden. 

“I won’t unless you can give me a reason.” 

Ipos shrugged, composing himself.

“Call it a gut feeling,” he said casually, too casually, but Lucifer didn’t press him for details. 

“Anyway, so long as Zadkiel has the book, there’s a real risk of Uriel frying everyone to a crisp for insurrection,” he continued as if they weren’t discussing the possibility of a third of his people getting exterminated. 

Lucifer narrowed his eyes, aware of the prickling sensation along his back as his wings instinctively prepared to rip through his mortal coil at the perceived threat. He willed them to stand down. 

“But that isn’t even what Zadkiel is doing, Heaven can’t just do whatever it wants because a situation looks bad, ” he argued, making Ipos roll his eyes for the second time that day.

“Won’t matter if we get the book,” Ipos said, taking out a secondary notebook. (The kind that didn’t necessarily contain forbidden secrets but could in a pinch.) He flipped pages until he found what he was looking for. 

“They’ve gone into hiding to avoid me, but I know they’ll come out of the woodwork to see her,” Ipos said, showing him a day planner filled with small tidbits of information on Zadkiel’s whereabouts over the last week. 

Lucifer focused on the circled date, and swore silently. The girl would not be pleased.

“ Anything significant happening on the seventeenth?” 

When Lucifer didn’t answer right away, Ipos pressed on. 

“Birthday, funeral, someone in the family getting married, maybe?”

Still, Lucifer said nothing, but it was clear that Ipos already knew that he knew something. Even so, he played dumb, waiting for Lucifer to break first. 

“Shame, you don’t know. Zadkiel definitely has something planned on that day. I suppose I could always ask the girl since they're so close.”

“That’s the night of the prom,” Lucifer blurted out. 

He’d already seen Ipos write out the girl’s address in neat little scribbles in a section called Zadkiel’s frequent hangouts. He didn’t need another celestial forcing themselves into the girl’s life. (Lucifer didn’t count. He’d been invited in.)

And, if prom had to be sacrificed to keep the situation from becoming apocalyptic, then, so be it. 

“Perfect, I’ll rip my damn book out of their slippery pocket dimensions, no problem, ” Ipos said, ready to duck out now that he had what he wanted because of course he already knew where the girl went to school. 

“They’ll teleport away before you even get close,” Lucifer muttered, words tinged with bitterness. 

Even with all the girl’s precautions, he was getting sucked back in wasn’t he?

“Ah, but you said it yourself, the girl’s a great distraction,” Ipos said with a playful wink.

Lucifer froze, mind reeling with all the ways that could go wrong. He knew what tended to happen to “distractions” in war. Everything in his immediate area trembled with untold ethereal energy. 

“Keep her out of this,” Lucifer said, voice low and laced with deadly promise. 

Ipos nodded, shuddering involuntarily as Lucifer’s eyes blazed with holy fury.

“Look, I really don’t care how as long as Zadkiel doesn’t see me coming,” Ipos relented, far less confident than when he started. Good. 

Satisfied, he reigned in his powers. Gabriel caught his eye from across the room with a silent question. He shook his head. Lucifer was back in control of the situation in more ways than one. 

Giving it careful thought, he weighed the pros and cons of his two remaining options. The only two that still mattered to Zadkiel at least. 

“We can’t bring Uriel into this,” he decided finally. That was just asking for trouble.

“Obviously,” Ipos said, still shaken but more than a little amused by Lucifer’s idea of an acceptable alternative. 

“I could invite Raphael,” Lucifer suggested, letting the idea hang in the air. 

Because, he could admit that, maybe, in this one instance, Ipos opinion did matter. He was rewarded with a face splitting grin. 

“Hah, that would do it.”

And, that should have settled the matter for good. There was just one problem. 

“Michael’s going,” he added casually. 

Ipos winced and ordered another coffee. Gabriel took the order but shot Ipos dirty looks the whole time. Luckily, Ipos was too absorbed in the conversation to notice. 

“Oof, then, there’s a fifty-fifty shot of the whole thing backfiring on you,” Ipos advised, and it almost felt like old times. Not that he actually needed much advising at the moment, he’d already made up his mind regardless. 

“You’re right, of course, but I think I can manage. It’ll serve Michael right for inviting himself along,” Lucifer said.

Ipos nodded agreeably, and they slipped into a comfortable silence for a few minutes. 

Lucifer broke the silence first. 

“Hey, Ipos, could we hang out?” And, he sounded juvenile even to his own ears. 

But, Ipos expression was only fond, and that made him feel better about bringing it up at all. 

“We could go back to my bar if you’d like,” he offered.

“We both know they’ll murder me on sight.” It wasn’t an exaggeration, and the alternative wasn’t much better if he wanted to stay on good terms with Ipos. (He’d been on Earth long enough to glean from Gabriel that you needed customers to run a successful business.) 

“Hmm, we should probably work up to that then,” he mused, face lighting up as he thought up a solution. He snapped his fingers.

“Tell you what, why don’t I sneak you into the back of my bar and we do what we’ve been itching to do all along.” 

Ipos accepted his coffee from Gabriel, but instantly regretted it when he took a sip. Unfortunately for Ipos, Lucifer was too distracted to properly chastise his brother for jumping to conclusions and making less than favorable coffee. Instead, Lucifer furrowed his brows, feeling like he missed something. 

“What are you talking about?”

Not wishing to make a scene, Ipos begrudgingly paid for the subpar coffee and elaborated. 

“Let’s just beat each other to a pulp. I’m tired of holding onto this negative energy. I want to move on,” he said, already palming his fist eagerly in anticipation. 

Lucifer only laughed. He couldn’t be serious. They were friends, right? Friends didn’t beat each other up. 

“I’m not beating you up Ipos,” he stated matter a factly. 

Ipos raised an eyebrow at the insinuation, a slight gleam to his eye. 

“Who says I’m the one who’d get beat up?” he offered instead. 

“Archangel, in case you forgot,” Lucifer said, gesturing to himself with a bit more pride than Heaven might approve of. Luckily, Ipos didn’t particularly care what Heaven thought and huffed. 

“True, but I’d give you a run for your money, fancy wings,” he said, gently but firmly punching each of Lucifer’s shoulders. 

“Hah.” Lucifer beamed. It was nice to reconnect with someone you thought you’d lost, less nice to think the girl actually had a point about talking to other people. He just wouldn’t bring it up. 

After the seventeenth, maybe, when they’d successfully avoided the apocalypse for another week, he might mention his new? no-old friend. 

“There is one other thing we could do,” he trailed off unsure. He was drawing a blank as far as what Ipos liked to do besides drink and fight. (Both options were unfortunately off the table.)

“What?” Ipos asked, curious and no longer uneasy now that the salt and pepper shakers weren’t quaking with celestial energy. 

“Do you like karaoke? There’s a karaoke bar nearby” Lucifer said weakly. He liked singing but-

“She got to you didn’t she,” Ipos said accusingly, pointing to the specific date on his little day planner when Natalie first took Zadkiel to a karaoke bar. 

Lucifer bristled, pushing down the irrational jealousy threatening to consume him when he realized that Zadkiel had been invited to the karaoke bar the very first day they met, and he had yet to receive a similar invitation from the girl despite living with her for over a week. 

“No, I don’t care about that stuff. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, ” Lucifer lied, annoyed at himself for sounding so defensive. Ipos picked up on it right away

“Sure, we could go,” Ipos said, finally leaving the booth for good as he gestured for Lucifer to follow him out. He did, ignoring the way Gabriel waved his arms and repeatedly begged him not to go. 

Thinking better of it, he turned around one last time before leaving the coffee shop and gave his confused brother two thumbs up to signal he was okay. From what he saw, it did nothing to alleviate Gabriel’s panic, and he was definitely calling Michael. Oh well, he needed to talk to Michael anyway.

It wouldn’t do to drop Raphael on him without any warning. 

As they walked over to the karaoke bar, he casually mentioned his other favorite thing about earth so far, “We could go to the library afterwards.”

Ipos snickered, eyes glowing with warmth. “Are you serious?”

“They let you take out as many books as you want. You just have to return them by a certain date,” Lucifer explained, thinking maybe Ipos had never used a library before. 

“.... I forgot how much of a geek you were. It’s making it hard for me to hate you,” he said, clearly joking. He was better at picking up on Ipos’s jokes than Natalie’s. 

“Do you not want to go?” he asked anyway just to be sure. Ipos shook his head, grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him closer

“Come on, you little nerd. I’ll watch you sing your little heart out, and then we'll get you some books. ”

And they did just that, with one amendment, Ipos was required to join in when Lucifer sang a duet. Lucifer had a good time, and Ipos must have too because he promised they’d go again after the seventeenth. Happy and not wishing to worry her, when Natalie asked later where he went, he told a little white lie and said he spent the day at Gabriel’s coffee shop alone.


End file.
